Do you want football stats, analysis and unbiased reporting? Well you have come to the WRONG place my friend. We call it like we see it and sometimes how we remember it, as we celebrate football without trying to blow anyone's tiny mind. Truly, a No Nonsense Podcast
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A No No Nonsense Christmas Bonanza Special
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Happy Christmas you filthy animals! Hope your day is going ok folks. If you're here, well, it could probably be going better. In this very special episode of a no-nonsense podcast We'll prescribe some of our must-see TV viewings on Christmas Day. Some Absolutes for the rest of the season. Why Avatar 2 is the only film left worth watching And what A…
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Creamy Liverpool Display, Stop Asking Ange, Pressure Off Arsenal, Pressure On Pep
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55:59
It was Christmas Eve babe! It was Christmas Eeeeeeve baaabe! Happy Christmas folks, enjoy a festive feast of football delight as we take a look back at Liverpool's "creamy" 6-3 win over the ever stubborn Ange Postecoglu's Tottenham Hotspurs. Nottingham Forest and Bournemouth are flying high halfway through the season and everyone is enjoying it exc…
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Amad Chester Derby, Ruben Rings the Changes, Cucurella Character Development, NU Metal Month
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And so, the sun rises over Manchester, as a new false dawn beckons for Manchester United, but maybe, just maybe this one is for real.. The Manchester derby had an incredible last 10 minutes as United managed to comeback 2-1 against City, thanks to a moment of magic from Amad Diallo and a moment of madness from Nunes. Before the game, Ruben Amorim m…
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Pep's Six Finger Salute, Arne's Aura, Sá Has A Mare, Rashford's Red Redemption
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After Liverpool beat Man City 2-0, Pep Guardiola and his players have reached levels of rattled never previously thought possible. This time with Pep reminding Liverpool fans of how many leagues he's won.. we think? Mo Salah continues to play his contract year perfectly, by very cleverly being arguably the best player in the world and reminding eve…
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Amorim Joins the Circus, Man City's Relegation Form, Salah Speaks Out, The Ballers League
1:19:29
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It took around 12 or 13 gameweeks, but the Premier League OFFICIALLY kicked in to gear. Ruben Amorim experienced his first official day on the job in a baptism of media fire. As he's interupted by superstar Ed Sheeran while trying to explaing why he can't change Man United instant. Man City lost their 5th (5th!) game in a row. And Pep explains what…
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Ireland Humbled by England, Referees Spooked, What Does Pep Know?
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And so, the sun sets on another international campaign. Ireland had some highs and some REAL lows. To see us out, Ireland were beaten 5-0 by colonial rivals England in Wembley after 20 minutes of madness which manager Heimir Halgrimsson described as 'giving up'. But for 45 glorious minutes we were right in that game! We were right in that game unti…
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Peps Problems, David Coote's Tell All Afters, Have Arteta's Arsenal Gone Stale?
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4 losses in a row Pep? 4? That's insane! Things have gone from bad to historically bad as Pep Guardiola loses 4 games in a row for the first time in his managerial career as Man City lose 2-1 to Brighton. Too many injuries at once? Or is a certain looming legal issue effecting the club? We've all been there, sitting beside a stranger at 4am in thei…
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Duff Man Can Never Die, Mourinho Battles The Matrix, Arsenal Bid Edu, Ruud Boy We've Had enough
1:11:17
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All eyes were on Ireland it seemed this week as Damien Duff led Shelbourne to a historic League of Ireland win, just three seasons after promotion in a campaign which captured hearts around the world. Fresh off of ignoring Duffers facetime post league win, Jose Mourinho was letting loose with an 8+ minute rant on VAR, the Turkish league, the stink …
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Ten Hag Sacked, Rodri Wins Ballon d'Or, Real Madrid are Real Mad
1:09:09
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Let it be known that nobody goes a full year with just one win in Europe and gets away with it at Manchester United! Erik Ten Hag tenure as United manager finally came to an end after a 3 years of poor league results and great domestic success. We take a look back at where it all went wrong and ask how bad was he really? It's a dark day for footbal…
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Ireland Win Then Lose, Unstoppable Greece, Carsley Crumbles, Tuchel Takes Charge, Libya Dark Arts
1:03:17
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The most successful international break in pod history as Ireland actually WON a game of football, and it wasn't even against Gibraltar this time! Just as things looked up after beating Finland, Ireland were halted by an impassioned Greece team, honoring their late teammate George Baldock. Lee Carsley's England also lost to the Greeks, prompting Ca…
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Ten Hag Hangs On, The Cole Palmer Con , Spurs Break Ange
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52:38
We are rapidly leaving the 'too early to tell' timezone and starting to see how the Premier League is really shaping up this year. Erik Ten Hag was given the dreaded 2 games to turn it around and managed a a draw against Porto and a draw against Aston Villa, so what happens now? Man United fans nostalgia haas reached sad new levels as they long for…
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Ten Hag's Time's Up, Pep and Arteta's War of Words, Were Chelsea Right All Along? Madrid Derby Chaos
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Is it that time of the year already? It feels like a game that decides the Man United manager's tenure is over comes around earlier every season. Man United suffered an embarassing 3-0 home loss to Tottenham. Another in a long line of poor results which see's the pressure really piled on Erik Ten Hag. After their 'spicy' game last week and the subs…
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Humble Haaland, Arsenal's Villain Arc, Footballers Strike Spokesman Silenced
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A rare one game review of the Premier League this week as Arsenal and Man City played out an absolute classic, but not the type of classic you'd usually expect. Arsenal are insistent on becoming the bad boys of the league, and they could not have picked a worse time in history to decide this. We have a real rivalry on our hands with angry post matc…
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Everton's 99 Problems, Solid Arsenal, Ange Sets His Own Deadline, Say Nothing Slot
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One nil to the Arsenal in the North London Derby as Ange Postecoglou's Ultra attacking Tottenham came up short against Mikel Arteta's defensively air tight (yes that's right) Arsenal. Despite it not being the only problem for Tottenham, losing by one goal from another set piece mad Postecoglou look at best naive and at worst stubborn. Despite all t…
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Sad Boys in Green, Dunphy Hammers Heimer, We Are NOT #Barclaysmen
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23:58
One of the worst international breaks in Ireland history comes to a close with yet another 2-0 loss to Greece. Not a great start from Heimir Hallgrimmson, and the knives are already out in the media from former players and pundits. John O'Shea has his work cut out for him to turn this one around. The #Barclaysmen trend has taken social media by sto…
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Ireland's Most Painful Loss, Grealish and Rice Have 'No Bad Blood', Todd Boehly Takes a Stand, Football Ads Are So Back
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A dark day for Irish football as Declan Rice and Jack Grealish come back to haunt us duing an incredibly bleak game in Dublin. What's next for the Irish mens football team we ask, as we seem to look worse every game. We also cast an eye over the rest of the esteemed Nations League. The news never stops at Chelsea, and this week was no different as …
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Casemiro Hung Out to Dry, Slot Breaks it Down, Rice Miscalculates, Hattrick Haaland
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What year is it? Haven't we been here before? A groundhog day episode of the pod as Man United suffer an embarrassing loss to Liverpool where they are totally out managed in a big game as Arne Slot put the pressure on Erik Ten Hag. Arsenal dropped some points thanks to THE LETTER OF THE LAW as Declan Rice tips his way to a red card against Brighton…
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Madueke PR Masterclass, Zirkzee Slide Cancels, Endrick Rolls back The Years, Maupay Gets a Taste of the Real World
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Gameweek 2 and the Premier League has already ramped up the madness as only it can. Noni Madueke had a whirlwind 24 hours as he accidentally posts his genuine thoughts on social media about Wolverhampton, then goes and proves it as Chelsea show that maybe they're not so crazy after all by winning 6-2 against Wolves Man United head loss counter is n…
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Chelsea Doomsday Prepping, Sean Dyche Burnley Mafia, Adidas 90's Erasure, When Were Football Ads Good?
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And just like that the Premier League is back. But really, what can actually be taken from the opening gameweek fixtures apart from a certain relegation and how doomed a certain London club are. As the players keep coming in the doors of the Chelsea gym, Raheem Sterling's camp took to social media right before their opening game against Man City as…
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Arteta's Fate, City Are Inevitable, De Ligt's Driving - A No Nonsense Premier League 2024/2025 Preview
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The time is almost upon us, who will rise above the trials and tribulations this season in the heated battle for second place behind Man City? On the full Ultra's only episode, we go through the contenders and give each of them their reasoning behind why they could finish anywhere from 2nd to 7th. To hear the full bumper 1.5 hour episode head to th…
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Community Shield Shootout, Arteta's Pocket Picking Ploy, Chelsea's 36 Signings, Bad Kompany
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Dread it, run from it, but a new Premier League season is upon us. But not before the traditional curtain raiser as Man United tried valiantly to stop Man Citys march to a quintuple. Are we set for yet another season of Man City dominance? As the signings keep flooding in to Chelsea, we contrast the amount of signings they've made since the Todd to…
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Gallagher Given Away, Onana Ready to Risk, Carsley Takes Charge
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45:27
Just 9 more days folks, stick with us! The pre season grinds to a close with possibly the quietest week in pod history. Conor Gallagher's move to Atletico Madrid is confirmed as he is officially kicked out of Chelsea. That'll teach ye for spending your young adult life being thought everything you know by the club! Man United maverick André Onana g…
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Saipan The Movie, Olympics Football Fatigue, Man Uniteds Pre Season Sucker Punch, Von Erich Summer
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We're calmly floating in a metaphorical tire down the river of pre season football. To kick us off we cast an eye at the Olympics and report on all of the scandal and none of the games as it all kicked off between Argentina and Morocco. We brush over the pre season and bring you all of the punches, tugs of war, injuries and bad defending from Chels…
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Enzo Starts Diplomatic Incident, Who is the Next Gareth Southgate? Man United Buy Yoro
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The summer pod is here and while there is no football to talk, off the pitch, ironically, it has been kicking off. After Enzo Fernandes filmed his Argentinian teammates singing an insulting chant about the French national team, there has been severe fallout from Chelsea teammates and even at a presidential level. Gareth Southgate hung his metaphori…
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Spain - Exciting, Impressive, Victorious, The End of Kane? England Left it Behind - Euro 2024 Final Show
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The Euro 2024 final has passed, a record 4 European championship in the bag for Spain, the years of hurt continue for England. Could Southgate have loosened the shackles a little more? Was there too much focus on Bellingham ball? Did anyone give Spain less of a chance than us? We answer all these questions and more in our final euros episode This e…
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Yamal Mania, England on The Brightside, The Dutch Don't get Much, France Humbled, Final Preview - Euro 2024 Show
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The 2024 Euros final is upon us as England will be facing Spain in a battle of two teams who've had very different paths to this game during the tournament. England are through, and its all down to the genius that is Gareth Southgate..or at least that's probably how it will be remembered. You have to feel for the Netherlands after a controversial r…
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Kid Kickin Kroos, Has Football Left Ronaldo? Wout's Aura Too Sweet For Turkey, England Win on Penalties?! - Euro 2024 Show
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27:08
The Euro's quarter final stage is wrapped up, and could it get any more exciting!? (yes) Here's a little preview of a taster of our quarter final coverage. Toni Kross wrapped up his career as he lived out a lifelong dream of being 'that kind of player' and leaving the boot in on some Spanish wonderkids. Spain got through Germany and into the semi f…
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Bellingham Saves Southgate, Misstiando Penaldo, Germany Weather The Storm, Solid French Defence - Euro 2024 Show Round of 16 Review
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The Euro 2024 last 16 is in the books and we've got a full recap of the whole bloody thing for you. England got past Slovakia by the skin of their teeth thanks to a last minute "bicycle kick" from who else but Jude Bellingham. In one of the most incredible displays from a player of all time (for the wrong reasons), Cristiano Ronaldo seemed to final…
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The Georgia Giants, Turkey Win Battle of Hamburg, Energetic Austria , Boring England - Euro 2024 Show
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tIn today's preview of this week's BONUS episode, we're taking a look back at the last set of games from during the week. Turkey and Czechia played out a high tension (possibly political?) battle for the ages as Turkey managed to get the win and go through, but not before the most cards shown in a single Euros game in history. A historic win for Ge…
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Old Ronaldo New Tricks, Scotland Are Oot, Unshakable Kane, Dark Belgian Horse? - Euro 2024 Show
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As the Euros group stage comes to a conclusion some teams are out and some are still fighting for survival. Scotland are officially out as their bad start turned into a bad run. That makes it 12 tournaments without escaping the group stage for the Scots, 13th times the charm lads! Cristiano Ronaldo entered his giving era as he opted for an easy ass…
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Unlucky Lukaku, The Kalvin Phillips Clamour, Arda Guler's Super Goal - Euro 2024 Show
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23:32
It's games games games as the Euro's group stage rolls on, and we've done our best to recap all of the biggest and best stories so far. Our mortal enemy Romelu Lukaku had a bit of a disaster class as Belgium lost their first game to Slovakia, and even though luck was not on Big Rom's side, there were some hints that he still could have done more. A…
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Super Jude Bellingham, Spain's Streak, Trent Tried Tested Failed? - Euro 2024 Show
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The Euros are well and truly underway and we've done our best to round up the group stage so far! In probably the most anticipated debut of the tournament for our listeners, England had their first game against Serbia, and apart from a brief few moments of brilliance from Jude Bellingham, it was a shakey game that England were lucky to win in the e…
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Germany Beat Scotland in Style, Querpass-Toni, Bitter Hummels, We Got Some Hate Mail - Euro 2024 Show
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Euro 2024 start off with a 5-1 victory for hosts Germany. Scotland brought some 200,000 fans to Munich which only made it uncomfortably reminiscent of Ireland's disastrous 2012 European championships. Toni Kroos, returned to the international side since March, completed 99 percent of his passes as we ask is there any way to stop the metronome behin…
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A No Nonsense Euros 2024 Preview!
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1:06:40
The 2024 Euro's is upon us! Join us as we take a look at all of the contenders, the starboys and the just happy to be there's! Will Deschamps solidify his legacy with another French tournament win? Are England doomed to disappoint? What is the latest fall out behind the scenes in the Belgium camp? Are Turkey the dark horses once again despite never…
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Southgate Snubs The Avengers, Man City Vs The Majority, Is John O'Shea Here to Stay?
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As part of our latest ULTRAS ONLY bonus episode on Patreon, before we enter in to Euros 2024, we had some international friendlies and a potential international incident to ease us in. John O'Shea is still managing Ireland, and they are somehow winning games now as they beat Hungary 2-1 in a quarter full Aviva stadium, but does it really matter? So…
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Madrid Want More, Dortmund Self Sabotage, Rheinmetall Jacket - 2024 Champions League Final Review
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The last Champions League as we know it came to an end in familiar fashion, with Real Madrid lifting the trophy as a heartbroken Marco Reus, Mats Hummels and Borussia Dortmund looked on. We go through the game Füllkrug chance by agonising Füllkrug chance, as Dortmund fought valiently until it was time for Madrid to do what they do. The new Zidane, …
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Mourinho's Turkish Adventure, Fiorentina's Greek Tragedy, The Premier League's Bald Manager Epidemic
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On the latest No Nonsense Ultra's Only Preview.. Olympiacos FC had one of the greatest nights in their 100 year history as they became the first Greek team to win a European trophy after beating Fiorentina in extra time to win the Conference League. Further solidifying the Conference League as one of the best things going in football, giving clubs …
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Man United Underdogs Win FA Cup, Ten Hag Staying Ten More Years? Man City Boys Were On The Beers
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49:03
An all time great dramatic FA Cup run came to a pretty shocking end as Man United in one of their worst seasons in recent history managed to beat Man City comfortably in the final. With rumours before the game that Erik Ten Hag would be getting sacked regardless of the result, it seems now that everything has changed thanks to his starboys Mainoo a…
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Ademola Cooked Man, Leverkusen Unbeaten Run Ends, Pochetti-No More, Europa League Final
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26:34
On the latest No Nonsense Ultra's preview, the impossible Leverkeusen dream proved impossible as their unbeaten run came to an end with Atalanta winning the Europa League, thanks to an incredible hattrick from former pod favourite, Ademola Lookman. The managerial merry-go-round is in full effect as Pochettino leaves Chelsea by "mutual" consent just…
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Man City 4 Ever, Enjoyably Arsenal, Farewell Klopp - Premier League 2023/2024 Recap
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As the curtain falls on another Premier League season, things wrapped up pretty much as expected. Arsenal are the latest victims of the Man City machine, as a near perfect Premier League run in was over 2 minutes in to the final day thanks to a brace from player of the season Phil Foden. 4 in a row now for Manchester City, and 6 of the last 7 leagu…
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Ange Finds Cracks in Tottenhams Foundations, Aston Villa Dinner Dance, A New Era of VAR? | Patreon Preview
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In a jam packed Ultra's only epiosde we discuss how it took just under a full season for Ange Postecoglou to be hit full force by the Spurs mentality, after one of the stangest potential deciding games of all time as Tottenham faced Man City. Aston Villa however, were much more familiar with the history of the Tottenham and celebrated in style as t…
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Old Trafford Falls, Arsenal Have Done All They Can, Mbappé's Goodbye, Moyes to Ireland?
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47:43
In yet another summing up of the season, Old Trafford literally caved in around Ten Hag's Man United as Arsenal saw off their last "top 6" challenge of the season. In a title race that's tighter than ever, it's never felt so hopeless. As Arsenal's near perfect record doesn't look like it will be enough to stop the Man City machine. But you can't sa…
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Tuchel Screwed Tuchel, Project Mbappe's Findings, Hummels Last Hurrah | Patreon Preview
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After missing our chance to record earlier in the week we briefly catch up on the Casemiro character assasination by Jamie Carragher after Man United's 4-0 loss to Crystal Palace. We then get into the meat of the episode, our little glimpse into this weeks Ultra's only European episode. We cover the Bayern downfall which may have been spurred on by…
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Carragher Visits the Yellow Wall, Sancho Shines, Madrid's Year? | Patreon Preview
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The greatest Champion's League of all time continues with some more top notch knockout games. Real Madrid looked as unstoppable as ever while Bayern also looked pretty damn good in a 2-2 draw, if only it weren't for that darn Kim Min-jae says Tuchel. Dortmund won the home leg against PSG thanks to a goal from the young as ever Füllkrug and a star p…
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Salah Scorched Earth, Arsenal Survive the Derby, Golden Boy Raya, Man Utd Salary Cap Clear Out
1:02:31
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It's everyones favourite time of the season where things become MATHEMATICALLY CONFIRMED. Liverpool look officially out of the title race after a 2-2 draw with West Ham which saw yet another incredible moment of inept refereeing and a Salah and Klopp sideline bust up. Arsenal got through a North London Derby with a 3-2 win over Tottenham. But despi…
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Liverpool Probably Lose the League, Chelsea Prove They Are Cole Palmer FC, Are Everton Stuck At This Level? | Patreon Preview
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It looks all but over for Liverpool as a dejected Klopp sighed after they lost to Merseyside rivals Everton for the first time in Goodison Park in 13 years. Where has it all gone wrong for Liverpool? Can Klopp really have any blame for Nunez missing 1 on 1's? Pochettino but his foot in his mouth by announcing this Arsenal game was a chance for his …
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Man United's Worst Win Ever, Nottingham Forest Explore Their Options, Antony Doesn't Get It, Pep's Passionate Plea
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Man United gifted us yet another fixture of madness, this time giving up a 3-0 lead to almost lose 4-3 to Coventry in the FA Cup semi final In the midst of the most embarrassing win in history, only one man was celebrating which begs the question, does Antony know who he's playing for? Man City also made their way past the FA Cup semi final, with a…
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Bernardo's Blunder, Bayern are Still Bayern, Should Arsenal Be Proud? | Patreon Preview
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One of the best Champions League knockout rounds in history continued to excite with upsets across the board as lowly teams like Real Madrid and Bayern Munich managed to stop the might Premier League giants. Man City were knocked out by Madrid after a particularly mad penalty shootout in a game which apparently Kevin De Bruyne and Erling Haaland di…
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Chelsea Penalty Petulance, Arsenal & Liverpool Miss Big, Cole World, Our First Race Row
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In a weekend which should have been dominated by Arsenal and Liverpool's slip ups, Chelsea managed to make a routine dismantling of Everton and turn it into a showcase of how much of a shambles they are as a squad. After a rapid hat trick from Cole Palmer, things were looking good, but once it was time to take a penalty to further the hammering, th…
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Arsenal Saved by Common Sense Rule, City and Madrid go Goal for Goal, Gnabry Cooks | Patreon Preview
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Arsenal's blushes were saved after a bizarre handball incident could have really embarrassed them in the Champions League knockouts against Bayern Munich. As it was though they managed a 2-2 draw that had penalties, penalty shouts, crazy runs through the middle and more! Man City and Real Madrid took a leaf out of Man United's book and just gave it…
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