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Hosted by Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif Younes, co-founders of OptimalWork, The OptimalWork Podcast will help you learn to challenge yourself in each hour of work according to your highest ideals. We discuss all aspects of Dr. Majeres's approach to work, which he developed in his private practice and teaches at Harvard Medical School, and show how it applies to everyday situations like professional work, study, sleep, and relationships. For personalized plans to help you put the ideas into pr ...
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#227: Dr. John Gottman identifies four stages in the breakdown of a relationship: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and, ultimately, contempt. Each of these behaviors points to a deeper issue — a lack of humility. In this episode, we explore a fundamental attitude that can help you heal and strengthen bonds by addressing all four forms of rel…
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#226: Dr. John Gottman identifies four stages in the breakdown of a relationship: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and ultimately contempt. Each of these reflects a deeper issue— a lack of humility. In this episode, we delve into the fourth stage: contempt. Contempt is the most significant predictor of relationship decline and divorce, due t…
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#225: Dr. John Gottman identifies four stages in the breakdown of a relationship: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and ultimately contempt. Each of these reflects a deeper issue— a lack of humility. In this episode, we delve into the third stage: stonewalling. Stonewalling means putting up obstacles to forming bonds with others. While defens…
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#224: Dr. John Gottman identifies four stages in the breakdown of a relationship: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and ultimately contempt. Each of these reflects a deeper issue— a lack of humility. In this episode, we delve into the second stage: criticism, or what we call a critical spirit. A critical spirit often arises from hyperfocusing…
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#223: Dr. John Gottman describes four stages in the breakdown of a relationship: first defensiveness, then criticism, then stonewalling, and finally contempt. Each of these is a manifestation of a lack of humility. Having laid out the big picture in our previous episode, here we do a deep dive into the first, defensiveness. We explain how it arises…
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#222: In this episode of the OptimalWork Podcast, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres delve into the significance of humility in leadership and team dynamics. They explore the concept of humble leadership, the detrimental effects of pride, and the four horsemen of team dysfunction: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and contempt. The conversation emp…
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#221: Over the past five years, OptimalWork has grown into a unique and powerful digital platform for growth, centered on our MasterClass. In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Majeres discuss the history of our digital platform and recent findings about how effective the MasterClass is in helping people achieve behavior change. Find more at ⁠https://www…
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#220: Working with a spirit of service lies at the core of working at your best. But the spirit of service has a doppelgänger: aiming to please people. This often arises from motives of fear (fear of conflict, etc.), whereas service is rooted in love. In this episode, we compare these two motivations, and discuss how to escape the trap of seeking t…
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#219: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the concept of Extreme Ownership, as introduced and developed by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. Willink and Babin learned this concept from their time serving as Navy Seals and have gained popularity adapting it to other contexts, like business and relationships. In this conversation, Shari…
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#218: In this installment of our series on mastery, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore the third and final stage: the optimizing stage. The optimizing stage of mastery has deep connections to other core concepts of OptimalWork like deliberate practice, continual growth, and above all service. In the optimizing stage, we can go beyond the automati…
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#217: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore the second of the three phases of mastery: the implicit phase of mastery. This phase is the most dangerous, because it is where bad actions can become automatic habits, and where good habits can become plateaus. Fortunately, there are ways to avoid these pitfalls. The implicit phase of mas…
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#216: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres delve into the concept of mastery, focusing on its explicit phase. Broadly, mastery has three forms: mastery over a technical skill, self-mastery, and mastery in the context of bonds. For all these forms, crafting a strategy (a goal plus steps) is essential to developing explicit mastery. As you d…
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#215: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore the concept of mastery, its relationship to service, and the neuroscience behind it. We can distinguish between three stages of mastery: explicit, implicit, and optimizing. Ultimately, mastery is not just about raw technical skills, but about putting these skills to the service of higher i…
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#214: Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres delve into the significance of breath in regulation attention and managing anxiety. One of the most interesting advances in the understanding of breath is the discovery of the oxygen paradox: breathing too much can actually reduce the amount of oxygen that reaches your brain. Breathing, mood, nutrition, attention,…
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#213: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the importance of learning how to self-regulate your attention. We often try to address distraction and worrying — two common obstacles relating to attention — by re-arranging our external circumstances, changing aspects of our lives. This can be helpful and even necessary at times. But to…
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#212: In this episode, Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif discuss the importance of attention for working at your best. Understanding how your attention works — especially the dynamic between task attention and default attention — can help you improve how you both rest and work. Some may think that focus is a matter of brute force and self-discipline, or…
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#211: Is it possible to sustain a high level of challenge throughout the day? At first, it may seem daunting. But embracing challenge brings growth and with it an increase in energy. The key is to embrace challenges in order to serve, so that challenges are not about improving yourself in isolation, but deepening the bonds with those around you. Fi…
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#210: When focusing on self-improvement, it is natural to look first at your behaviors and strive for behavior change. In this episode, Dr. Majeres and Sharif explore what change on the inside looks like: how you relate to the inner friction produced by “parts” of you, like an inner critic or a harsh taskmaster. They show that behavior change is be…
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#209: It is possible to accept in theory that every challenge presents an opportunity, while still in reality viewing the actual challenges you face in a negative light. In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Majeres discuss the need for a robust worldview to be able to reframe any challenge, and how to tap into that worldview to make it more operative. F…
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#208: There is increasing interest in dopamine, a molecule that is closely related to our experience of pleasure, reward, expectation, and motivation. It’s involved in negative processes, like overindulgence and addiction, but it can also be harnessed to set virtuous cycles in motion. Surprisingly, as Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif discuss, the dopam…
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#207: In this episode Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif discuss Steven Pressfield’s book “The War of Art.” Pressfield has developed a kind of mythology to describe the psychology of following one’s true calling. You know you’re on the right path if you encounter Resistance. But if you persevere and work through the Resistance your Muse will inspire you …
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#206: Cognitive behavioral therapy, positive psychology, and other developments in the field of psychology have put flourishing on the map as a primary goal of psychological growth. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif discuss the nature of flourishing, and the surest path to obtaining it. Find more at ⁠https://www.OptimalWork.com⁠.…
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#205: In this episode, Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif discuss OptimalWork's recently launched anxiety course called Overcoming Anxiety. Having the proper attitude toward anxiety is essential. Rather than thinking we must get rid of anxiety or merely cope with it, we need to see how to embrace anxiety and use it to perform at our best and live out our…
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#204: : In this episode, we focus on the ideal of temperance, sketching what it looks like at various levels, and how to grow in it. At all levels, we show how temperance, the ability to act according to your ideals no matter what desires you have, is not a matter of effortful willpower, but can be gained with the simple practice of mindfulness. Fi…
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#203: Ideals lie at the core of our approach. Indeed, our mission is to help you challenge yourself according to your highest ideals in each hour of work and life. For this, it is necessary to have an image in your mind of what the various ideals look like when lived fully. In this episode, we paint a picture of humility. Find more at ⁠https://www.…
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#202: In his book “The Confident Mind,” Dr. Nate Zinsser, shares the approach he’s developed as the director of West Point’s Performance Psychology Program and consultant for numerous elite athletes. His insights, which center on the idea of confidence, can be transformative not only for preparing for combat and athletic competitions, but also for …
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#201: When people face psychological challenges, they need to fully feel the difficult emotion in order to rise above it. Similarly, important bonds are greatly strengthened by fully feeling positive emotions — in order to second and intensify them. All people can benefit from the practice of mindfulness of the heart, a form of mindfulness that can…
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#200: Reframing lies at the heart of OptimalWork’s approach. In this episode, Dr Kevin Majeres and Sharif survey some precursors to reframing in the literature and practice of psychology and cognitive behavioral therapy, and what distinguishes reframing from these other approaches. Find more at ⁠https://www.OptimalWork.com⁠.…
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#199: The classic example of a courageous person is one who can approach the possibility of death in battle. But this case has little to do with work in the modern world. Is courage, then, irrelevant? In this episode, we discuss what courage means in a modern work context and why it is not just relevant, but essential for thriving. Find more at htt…
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#198: As you start to develop a new habit, you may meet internal resistance. Far from being a sign that you’re failing to build a virtuous cycle, facing internal resistance is actually a sign that you’re on the verge of real progress. Resistance is necessary in order to build true and lasting momentum and connect your new habits to deeper and more …
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#197: Complaining is very tempting. When experiencing difficulty, it can seem helpful to vent our frustration. But chronic complaining can hinder the development of genuine bonds and can reinforce a negative mindset. Complaining narrows our focus and prevents us from reframing challenges as opportunities for growth. In this episode, Sharif and Dr. …
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#196: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the concept of self-efficacy and its practical application in various examples. Self-efficacy is the brain's prediction of success right before engaging in a task. It affects motivation, resilience, and the ability to overcome challenges. The key is to shape self-efficacy by widening the c…
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#195: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the concept of self-efficacy and its relationship to mastery and confidence. Albert Bandura, a psychologist at Stanford, initiated the self-efficacy literature. He developed ways to help people overcome their fear of snakes and observed that this process helped them engage challenges in ot…
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#194: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss Cal Newport's new book, “Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout.” “Slow Productivity” builds on themes he explores in his previous books: for instance, mastering your craft and focusing on the process of working. Here Newport focuses on three principles for achie…
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#193: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the theory and science behind reframing, which is a foundational skill of OptimalWork. Reframing is essential to personal growth and overcoming challenges. But it goes beyond many of the techniques espoused by “self-help experts.” It is not just about positive thinking or building habits, …
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#192: Automaticity, while beneficial in some ways, can also be a danger if it makes everyday actions become rote. Treating each moment of a task as unique allows for growth, meaning, and mastery. One way to do this is frequently setting growth goals to stretch yourself in how you do things. The second half of the episode covers the Reframer tool on…
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#191: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres review the book “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt. “The Anxious Generation” attributes the skyrocketing levels of anxiety among youth, particularly Gen Z, in large part to the widespread use of smartphones and social media. The negative effects of smartphones include social disconnection,…
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#190: In her recent best-seller “Bad Therapy,” Abigail Shrier argues that therapy for children causes more problems than it solves. Shrier critiques the approach many therapists take as based on a flawed understanding of human nature, and she also draws attention to data suggesting that modern therapy is not stopping the increase in rates of anxiet…
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One of the least-discussed emotions may be the most powerful in bringing about well-being. When was the last time you were filled with awe? People may think of awe as a nice-to-have emotion, but not needed for living a good life. Recent research, however, suggests that awe may be essential to true thriving. Find more at https://OptimalWork.com…
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#188: It can be tempting to fit people into our categories: we think things like, “she’s sanguine,” “he’s not good at math,” “she’s shy,” “he’s melancholic.” We may even convince ourselves that these labels help us people as they want to or ought to be treated. But taken too far, labels prevent us from forming meaningful relationships with people. …
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#187: The brain’s models and predictions play a central role in the vicious cycles that drive procrastination, dread, and anxiety. When your brain assess a challenge as a threat, often it’s predicting some pain, or shame and sounds the alarm to get you to avoid it. To reverse these vicious cycles and transform them into virtuous ones, we need to sh…
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#186: Why do we sometimes feel like we're at war with ourselves? In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres dive into a therapy approach called Internal Family Systems (IFS), exploring how our mind has various parts — protectors and exiles — which are sometimes in conflict. Approaching these parts with curiosity and compassion paves the way to r…
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#185: What motivates you to get up in the morning? What motivates you to continue working on a challenging task? Learning how to motivate yourself is essential to true success, but so many people are motivated by a fear of failure, that is, by shame. In this episode, we discuss the relationship between shame and motivation, how to tap into deeper s…
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#183: Overcoming anxiety occurs in three successive stages. In the third and final installment of a three episode series, we discuss stage three: using adrenaline to achieve maximal growth. Stage one, bronze-work, centers on challenging yourself by engaging triggers head-on, and it has the effect of habituating the fear associated with that particu…
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#182: Overcoming anxiety occurs in three successive stages. In the second installment of a three episode series, we discuss stage two: using mindfulness to experience the alarm of anxiety. When you focus on the alarm of anxiety, rather than the trigger only, the learning generalizes to all triggers. It also flips the feeling of fear into one of dar…
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#181: Overcoming anxiety occurs in three successive stages. In this first installment of a three episode series, we discuss stage one: confronting the trigger of anxiety head-on, embracing the fear. Over time, the trigger will habituate; as you challenge yourself, the fear you experience will gradually diminish. You can then develop a sense of dari…
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#180: When a child does something wrong, your first instinct may be justice: to punish them. In this episode, we discuss “No-Drama Discipline,” by Daniel Siegal and Tina Bryson, exploring how to discipline children in a way that builds your bond with them and promotes their moral development. By connecting with your child, helping him or her gain i…
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#179: Difficult situations can feel intolerable. That intolerable feeling is produced by dynorphins and it makes us want to give up and abandon the difficulty we’re facing, whether it’s exercise, a difficult task, time in the sauna, or some small annoyance. But the more we embrace the dynorphin effect — the intolerable feeling — the more we develop…
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#178: What do you do when you feel tired? Go back to sleep? Take a nap? Power through? In this episode, we discuss a number of approaches to overcoming tiredness, from tracking your levels of fatigue (not recommended) to changing up your diet. But the ultimate approach draws on all the principles of OptimalWork and will actually help you harness ti…
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