The Multiverse of Madness has caused us to come out of a hiatus and bring the show back! We got a new little host and theories galore!!!

We sit down with one of the best Barbers around, The Closing Time Podcast very own Matthew Paul. Join me as we dive in to what drove Matt to be a barber and live his dream. Go Book an Appointment today: mathieupaul.booksy.com Follow Him and Us on Instagram as well. @mathieu.xx6 and @tctpodcast21

CTP fans, the final episode of Season 3 is here! Milan’s out of school, and out of control, while Sully is back in class and packin’ a whole lot of sass. Sully’s had it. He’s done. He’s one class into his final semester, and if he has to hear one more comment about a classmate’s pet bird, he’s going to have a coronary. Milan has been a man without …

The new year is here! Unfortunately, Milan and Sully started 2022 trapped in two separate homes. What did they do with their time? Sully started singing homemade sea shanties, and Milan learned that he may be closely linked to Neanderthal DNA. This episode is starting the year off right! We riff about a chronic re-gifter, gym bros, and saving the d…

Happy holidays Closing Time Nation! This episode, we hit you with a little bit of everything. It’s the sampler platter of entertainment! Sully tells the story of a guy who refers to himself as “the man.” As you can imagine, “the man” sucks. He sucks a lot. Meanwhile, Milan explains the funniest way to start an argument during the holidays. On a sid…

CTP fans, you guys better call Steve Harvey, because this episode is a Family Feud. Sully talks about helping his sister through teenage drama, while Milan rambles about an awkward encounter featuring his mom, dad, and a friendly waitress. Other topics covered include: the audacity it takes to modify an A&W order, people who think Gary Vee is cool,…

CTP fans, we have a holiday ritual that must be completed every year. Well, this year, our ritual took a turn for the stupid! After a few hours of rockin’ around the Christmas tree, we decided to do the impossible. What was “the impossible?” Well listen in to find out! We also talk about Sully controlling his ‘hanger”, a child that destroyed Milan’…

New name! New Episodes! Same Brothers. We are back and we are talking Spider-Man: No Way Home, What’s going on with the NFL, and Kevin McCalester Vs. The Grinch.

It’s December, and our holiday cheer is already here! We kick off the episode by explaining how a mother we’d like to get to know forced an advent calendar into our home. Was it weird? Yes. Are we happy she did it? Also, yes. We talk about the worst father ever (he’s on TikTok,) fake motivation and Christmases that have spiraled out of control. Tha…

Big news! Sully has money and a job! He’s a new man, he’s got a new plan, and he’s cooking in a cast iron pan (like rich people do). Sully’s ballin’ out of control, as he reminisces on a high-class birthday party, describes the “new him,” and rants about earnest eyes. Meanwhile, Milan exposes Sully’s arguing tactics, sparks a heated debate about th…

Many people don’t know the rules of fun. Many don’t even know the rules exist. Well they do, and we're here to teach you all about them! This episode gets educational. We teach you how to tell better stories, how to bend rules, and how avoid little snitch narks. We also talk about a very fun and very tiny man, snoring like a dad and Irish exits. Ta…

Just as we predicted, people were overflowing with spooky angst this past weekend! There are few things funnier than grown men arguing while dressed as the Mario Bros. Having said that, we have some stories that are! We talk about taming drunken fools, Borat reincarnated, and digging through the lost and found. Thanks for listening Closing Time Nat…

Spooky season is upon us, and we’re here to tell you — there’s levels to these scaries! If you’re going out on the town this Halloween, we tell you how to be remembered, how to be forgotten and how to survive a night of madness. We also talk about the horrors of working at a 24-hour restaurant, a crazy guy on the loose and about a pool shark with a…

Sully’s having a rough time with the world of Bumble, but does he care? No. Ask him. Go ahead. He’ll tell you himself. He. Doesn’t. Care. For that matter, we don’t even care if you listen to this episode. Just kidding, we’re desperate to keep your approval. In this episode, we talk about denying a pretty lady’s request to dance, how Wii Sports can …

We’re back on the booze! After a few failed attempts at entering dive bars, we found a new place to enjoy the sweet taste of bottom shelf alcohol. But it came with a cost! We had to dance. Now, you may be asking yourself — what’s the big deal? Well, you haven’t seen us dance. It’s not always pretty — but it gets the people goin’! This episode is ev…

Love is in the air! Sully attended a wedding! As expected, there was a beautiful bride, but there was also a speech based on “The Book of Lynyrd Skynyrd,” and a photographer that was not a good person. Get over yourself Jackie! We also talk about theatre kids crushing our dreams, a stakeout of Lord Farquaad’s castle, and limping with a smile. Thank…

We’re back on the road! As promised, this episode features countless tales from our trip to the west coast! We biked, we hiked, and behaved like little tikes! We also tell stories about the beauty of dive bars, pandemonium outside of a Winnipeg Jets’ game, and offer an in-depth analysis of the Blues Clues message that caused global heartbreak. Than…

A single question has been sweeping the nation. Soft lil’ b-word boys everywhere have been asking each other, “what does MGK have that we don’t?” Mainly a job. We start there. We also wonder why the hottest people in the world never smile. You’re hot. Lighten up. CTP fans, we are now well-travelled. This episode features tales from the sky, an enco…

We’re back. You heard it right. We are — back. And we’re not back in the sense that we’re here but we’ll be leaving again shortly. No. We. Are. Back. In our first episode back from our brief hiatus, we talk about teaching construction workers how to read, faking your own nickname, and about how rollerblading can lead to people assuming you’ve never…

CTP fans, we have a theory. Well, technically Sully has a theory. He thinks there’s list of words guaranteed to send any guy into the never-ending sinkhole known as the friendzone. Listen in to find out what they are and if they are actually repulsive to a potential date. We also talk about trying to sing a happy song while in a sad mood, a close e…

What’s better than spreading a rumour? According to social media, nothing. What kind of a weirdo takes the time to delve into the life of a TikTok Rockstar and analyze their innermost turmoil? Not us. Having said that, we do analyze their analysis, so figure that one out. We also talk about the worst headline ever, old guys, and sending teddy bears…

That’s it. We’ve had it. After a long stretch of good behavior, the CTP boys are back on the booze, and they couldn’t be more excited about it. Listen in to the seventh installment of season three to hear Sully and Milan rant and rave about the creation of vampires, the shitticanes that follow a night of hard drinking, and near-death experiences. T…

Dumb kids, rebellious old people, and hot moms. Need we say more? We probably should. In the sixth episode of season three, we talk about a tanning session that turned weird, Facebook poetry, and a sugar bender that caused near heart palpitations. Thanks for listening losers! Follow us on social media: Twitter: @ClosingTimePod Instagram: @theclosin…

Sully and Milan have some unrealistic goals to pursue, and they’re here to share ‘em! Sully wants to be as famous as the guy who invented the pizza pop, and Milan wants to understand what that means. Both goals may never be reached, but who cares? Not us. We also rant about the humble brag of the century, old school directions and crackhead karate.…

This episode starts with a need — a need for speed. Sully must have watched all the Fast and Furious movies over this quarantine because he’s got a story about weaving through traffic in a race against his empty gas sign that rivals the drifting skills of Vin Diesel himself. We also talk about a girl who likes “cute ugly guys,” an encounter with a …

It’s getting hot and weird in this episode. We talk about “sexy news,” cringy dads (that’s not the sexy news), and people who think they’re too good for their job. These weekly episodes will not relent. We aim to please, and we will not cease (these episodes). Take care losers! Follow us on social media: Twitter: @ClosingTimePod Instagram: @theclos…

In this episode, we talk about love — via email. Apparently, Ben Affleck is back with J. Lo and won her heart using MSN instant messenger! The balls on this guy! We also talk about getting vaccinated, Jake Paul’s menacing ways, and clocking Jon Hamm in the noggin. Thanks for sticking with us Closing Time Fans! Things are looking up around these par…

Season 3 is finally upon us, and you know what? We’ve changed. We are no longer broke boys! We are now mediocre men! What do mediocre men do? You’ll have to listen in to find out. In the first episode of season 3, we talk near-miss car crashes, Dr. Phil impressions, and why being broke is better than being rich. In season 3, we’re going harder than…

There it is Closing Time fans, 25 more episodes in the can. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried (not) and we’ve had a good time. Thanks for sticking with us for 2 seasons and 50 episodes of CTP! In our final episode of season 2, we are total degenerates. We talk about compulsive lying, fighting with a guy in India, and a late-night procrastination session t…

After a brief hiatus, we are back! Guys, Hot Girl Meg The Princess has taken the news cycle by storm, but so has Hot Girl Meg Thee Stallion. Here at the Closing Time Podcast, we are fans of both Megs, but the ORIGINAL Hot Girl, Meg THEE Stallion is cooler in our minds! How can you not love someone who calls themselves THEE anything? We are even con…

We are back! For good this time. What better way to kick of a refreshing version of this podcast then with breaking down the 2021 Royal Rumble. Matt and I sit down after the event and talk about the good and bad of this colossal event!

Closing Time Nation, we have huge news! Sully has finally contacted Twitter and has erased his haunting childhood account! We keep this episode duper super positive! Nothing but positive vibes on this joint! Look at how many exclamation points we’ve used already! In this instalment of God’s favourite pod, we talk about what it takes to be a contest…

Well guys it’s finally here. 2021 has arrived and as everyone can probably tell, it’s starting off like an absolute dumpster fire. We are choosing to frame it as a “there’s nowhere to go but up” type of scenario, but that can be very difficult to do. That is why we tried to keep this episode very light and mostly silly. We’re just trying to give yo…

Don’t let the intro to this episode fool you, this instalment of God’s favourite podcast is much more than just a Christmas episode. The average civilian sees the holidays as a time to relax and spend time with family. We see it as a time to make absurd comments and try to prove ridiculous theories with your best friends. Believe it or not guys, Mi…

Closing Time Nation, consider this a public service announcement. Although we’ve made it through another gruelling, tedious, monotonous semester of school, Milan is still pretending to read books. This is complete and total anarchy. Somebody needs to knock this guy off his high horse before he rides it all the way to Doucheville — population him. H…

Closing Time fans, we’re gonna come clean. In this episode we get a tad neurotic. Sully rants and raves about the audacity of his dad. How dare the legendary Wayne call and ask him how he’s doing!? Meanwhile, Milan babbles about how he can’t sleep at night due to a chess robot named Nelson. He’s tried for weeks to beat him and has even read scholar…

Closing Time Nation, we’re here for you! If you live in our home province, you’ll know that we’re under-going round two of quarantine. If your mental health is going to shit, you’re not alone! In this episode, we ease your pain by making fun of the downward spiral that is our declining sanity. Some topics we cover include: Milan sobbing like a baby…

Closing Time Nation, we need to let you in on a little secret. Milan and Sully have been at odds ever since the infamous "game night." A highly suspicious Instagram message was sent from one of the guy's accounts. But who sent the message!? Milan blames Sully, and Sully blames Milan right back. What would result, is a very sad and screwed up versio…

Happy Thanksgiving Closing Time fans! We are thankful for each and every one of you (lame). In all seriousness, everyone has something to be thankful for. Sully is thankful for a BOGO deal from a local pizza chain that supplied him with breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a long weekend alone. Milan is thankful to be back under Sully’s wing, who alway…

Guys, psychopaths across the nation are insisting on breathing their straight-up stank breath onto innocent civilians. Here at the Closing Time Podcast, we would like to say that these people always have the worst breath and never brush their teeth. Do you brush your teeth? Of course you do. Because if you're a rational person you probably have no …

CTP Nation, your favourite podcast is back in business! This episode we talk about leaving the comfort of our home and exploring the outside world, where new people lurk... drunk... ready to give us life advice. We also discuss a Winnipeg YouTuber in distress, and the joys of acting classes online! If you're wondering why we sound so cool, no, it's…

We're gonna get right down to it guys. We have found the absolute greatest name for a business that has ever existed, "Blunt Force Trauma." Care to wager a guess as to what line of work BFT is in? The answer will undoubtably be the most shocking thing you've heard this hour. Guys, times may be shitty. Our province is absolutely botching Covid preca…

Guys, this may be our most, how should we put it? "Interesting" title to date. You gotta hear about our current living situation. A seven foot tall Serbian is torturing us with the sounds of sin. But have no fear! We have a plan to deal with him and his dazzling damsel. We also talk about Milan's glorious retirement from the wonderful world of cons…

In this episode, we show how cultured we are. We kick off the episode by talking about a documentary, because we’re wicked smart and we watch those all the time. It wasn’t just any doc, it was about a bulldozer gone rogue, that destroyed all of this guy, Merv’s enemies. It’s absolutely bonkers. We also go OFF about the best movie of all time, Samur…

The CTP Boys shake and jimmy their way into another episode, where they debate how much a summer of dancing lessons would improve their skills on the d-floor — spoiler alert: not very good (but above average). Sully also tells the tale of a crazy women with blue feet disturbing the peace, Milan admits he's in love with Alicia Keys, and the boys dis…

Beep beep bitches! The Closing Time Boys are backing up... into the future, figure that one out. This episode is one for the books as we rant about something on everyone's mind these days, dump truck asses. We also rant about Sully's resemblance to Ms. Universe's ex-lover's best friend (we'll explain), a local rap song that has led generations of h…

Eight episodes into to season 2 and the CTP Boys are still cooking with gas. Listen to the newest episode where Milan discusses his brave expedition dangling high above Winnipeg's cold, hard pavement, Sully's birthday bash for the ages, and the boys take on more stupid inspirational content. Thanks for listening losers. We are featured on this week…

It's Sully's 22nd birthday and the boys are celebrating with an in-depth look at country music's biggest competition, a near fight with Winnipeg's Tony Hawk (on CRACK) and whether or not Kombucha is certified mud juice for hippies. Check out episode 7 of Closing Time's second season for an abundance of laughs... and a singalong... We are featured o…

The Closing Time Boys have escaped the comfort of the a/c absent melting box they call their apartment, and reconnected with nature as they spend the weekend getting hammered at a friends cabin. In the sixth episode of season 2, the boys talk popping tires, Sully almost dyeing naked at the hands of an ill-advised midnight swim, and a singalong to s…

Holy bag of dicks. Hey everyone, I am the best at something, this is Milan by the way. Anyway, it's true, I, Milan Horanski, am the world's best day dreamer. Sully may be a close second, but I am the best. In this episode, the two of us talk about some wild day dreams as well as hood rats shooting fireworks at houses, Sully getting aggressively hit…