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Content provided by Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact Mentor, Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach, Gaslighting Expert, and No Contact Mentor. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact Mentor, Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach, Gaslighting Expert, and No Contact Mentor or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ro.player.fm/legal.
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Ep 69 5 Ways to Heal From Your Own Thoughts

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Manage episode 401926376 series 3431743
Content provided by Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact Mentor, Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach, Gaslighting Expert, and No Contact Mentor. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact Mentor, Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach, Gaslighting Expert, and No Contact Mentor or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ro.player.fm/legal.

Grab your free 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation here: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

All my current offers!

Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/

1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/

1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/queens-of-peace-coaching-program2/

Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/

My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd

OTHER FREE FUN:

30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter:

https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter

Abuse Recovery Affirmations:

https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations

INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/

TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy

Email : FierceMamaC@gmail.com

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT:

Speaker 1: (00:00)
Welcome to, but still she thrives. This is your host, Christie Jade. Today we're gonna talk about five ways that you can become an observer of your thoughts so you can grow and heal after abuse. All right, so let's dive in. Number one, this is one of the best ways that you can really become an observer, and what this does is helps you heal because you're able to set yourself, maybe we can view it as a way or outside of your feelings. Sometimes we identify with our feelings saying things such as I'm anxious. And a way to shift that is to think of it more as I am currently having an anxious feeling or anxious thoughts, right? So number one is mindfulness or doing mindful meditations. And that involves sitting quietly and observing your thoughts without judgment. And this can take little practice, but I promise you, you can get there.
Speaker 1: (01:09)
By practicing mindfulness regularly, you can develop the skill of being an impartial observer. And that when you can really do that, when you can again, take yourself kind of out of being enmeshed with your own feelings, your own thoughts, that can really, really help you heal. So one way to do this is start by focusing on your breath and then gradually expanding your awareness to include thoughts as they arise. And then you notice them without getting caught up in the emotional charge of them, right? Or the content of what the actual thoughts are without going into them deeper with just being with them without judgment. Again, this can take time. This is something I do with my somatic healing. So if you wanna go for a fun journey, um, it's, uh, somatic healing is just amazing. I just did a session with a client today.
Speaker 1: (02:15)
It was just epic. I love it. It's really amazing work. So you can always look in the show notes on how to work with me. Number two is journaling. If you are a writer like I am, I love writing stuff down. I have diaries from when I was six years old, starting at six all the way through my twenties, and there's some after that too, but I kept them, you know, almost daily for a good chunk of my life. So I'm very familiar with writing and the power of writing. So you can keep a journal to record your thoughts and your feelings that come up. And by writing them down, you externalize those thoughts and
Speaker 2: (02:58)
Then it makes it easier for some depending. Again, you have to try these things out for yourself and see what you enjoy most. This is all customizable to you, but this can make for a lot of people, make it easier to observe your feelings and your thoughts objectively by writing them down. And then you take the time to reflect on what you've written, noticing any patterns or recurring themes that may come up. This can help you gain insight into your thought patterns and facilitate that healing. Yes, queen, we love to heal. We number three, self-inquiry. So if you want to engage in self-inquiry, you can ask yourself probing questions about your thoughts and your beliefs, right? You kind of go a little deeper, but keeping the emotion out of it, but logically going into a deeper, for example, if you notice a negative thought pattern, ask yourself, well, where is this coming from?
Speaker 2: (04:01)
Right? Let's say you're like, oh, I couldn't do that. I could never do that. Well, why do you say that? Where's this coming from? And you can keep going down, right? To break it down into more and more. It's kind of like when you think of a 4-year-old child, child saying, well, why? Well, why, well why right? Keeps breaking down further and further. You can do this with yourself to say like, really, how did we get here? How did we get to this thought pattern? Is it true? Is it really your thought pattern? Or is it something, let's say you were taught by your family or society, right? Or some, sometimes when we go through trauma, we cannot believe in ourselves. So it could be a thought pattern that is formed from that. So also something that's helpful is asking, does this thought pattern serve me?
Speaker 2: (04:52)
Is this helping me? It might be trying to protect you, maybe, but that's another, a whole other episode. We could talk about that, about the protectors in us. But you can say, thank you for trying to serve me, but I no longer need this. I no longer want to be protected because I want to believe I'm capable of X, Y, z, or whatever the thought pattern is. So you challenge your irrational or unhelpful thoughts by examining the evidence for and against them. And this practice can help you distance from distance yourself from those thoughts and gain perspective and what's actually true inside, right? We're talking, we talk a lot about in my podcast and my coaching, getting to the U2 0.0 and that U2 0.0 is shaken off all that nasty dirt that's covered up that gold, right? You're this solid gold block when you're born.
Speaker 2: (05:55)
And as you go through life there, there are negative thought patterns, negative beliefs, things, whether it's other people tell you, you tell yourself, you form these beliefs because of other people. Bad situations happen. Negative things can occur right in everyone's life, and it sprinkles all this dirt and muck and mud and covers up the beautiful gold bar that you are, right? So part of this healing and part of this self-inquiry can help to shake off some of those negative patterns, negative behavior, thought patterns, right? And gain you the true perspective of who you are. That gold, that shiny gold, that's the you, that's the U2 0.0 that's been covered, right? All right. Another awesome technique is the body scan technique. You may have heard of this, you may have done one before, and they can really be powerful, especially if you continuously use that, this technique.
Speaker 2: (06:58)
So this involves systematically bringing awareness to different parts of your body. This you can start from your toes up, you can go from your crown, the top of your head down. Um, I often start from the crown and go down, but you can do either way. And as you scan each body part, you observe any sensations. Again, observe, right? We're observing, not in meshing ourselves in them and getting, and not to say emotions can't come up, but what we're trying to do is to be an observer, observing the sensations, the thoughts, emotions, without trying to change them. And that's, that's where struggles can happen, right? Stress in general, I forget the exact quote, but I heard a quote somewhere that was about how when like stress basically is, or dis-ease is when you're trying to change something because it's not feeling aligned to you, right?
Speaker 2: (08:07)
But that can often make things worse. So especially in this sort of situation where we have things come up and we are so resistant to it, we so don't wanna feel it or whatever, we put up this big fight and then it just makes it feel even bigger, right? You can picture that when you have like a lot of anxiety. I know a lot of my followers deal with anxiety issues, right? When you try to fight that anxiety, what happens? Usually it makes it worse, or you can even set yourself into panic, right? Panic attacks, it's a cycle.
Speaker 2: (08:45)
So this practice of observing can help you cultivate a non-reactive awareness of your thoughts and your thoughts, connections to the bodily sensations you have. It's all tied together, right? This is why I love this body healing. It's, it's amazing and it's magical. All right? And five is cognitive behavioral therapy, which if you're in the therapy world, you have heard of this, you haven't, I'll explain it more. It is a therapeutic approach that focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns. So you can work with a therapist trained in this specific technique to learn how to recognize distorted thinking and replace it with more realistic and constructive thoughts. This is something I do in my work. I am not a therapist, as you know, I am a coach, but I do specialize in healing from abuse and have practiced this and have had success with my clients, but I'll never claim to be a CBT, um, certified.
Speaker 2: (09:58)
I am getting my somatic healing certification, and this is something we touch on. But through this process, you can become more aware of your thoughts and develop healthier cognitive habits leading to emotional wellbeing and healing, right? So there's, like I said, everyone's gonna like or not, like different modalities, different methods we use here. These are just some of them to give you examples. But by incorporating these in your daily life, you can become a more skillful observer of your thoughts, which is part of this transformation. What I find in somatic healing, what has been so beautiful, my own journey with it, and now being able to use somatic healing in my coaching sessions where we just are doing right now, I'm just practicing doing somatic healings for the entire hour basically, of our sessions because the impact, the transition is longer lasting because it is healing from the body out, right?
Speaker 2: (11:16)
Kind of like inside out when we do mindset work, which is amazing and fabulous and I love it too. Um, sometimes my when mindset, there has to be that motivation and more of a maintenance, in my opinion, where the somatic healing, and you can use them in parallel, right? But somatic healing is long lasting because it is really healing the body and like where that is stored, where the trauma is stored and actual on this body level, it's an amazing process of rewiring and shifting things from the body out, if that makes sense, right? So it's really cool to, I myself, have been able to make that shift from being in my feelings, right? We all know that's a saying, I'm in my feelings. That's a thing to being an observer and saying, whoa, I look, I'll still get triggered. Okay? There's, I went through trauma, I, I got some triggers, okay?
Speaker 2: (12:27)
That trigger comes up though now, and I've practiced this so much and it didn't take forever. So don't feel like this is like years in the making here, but I've practiced at a point that I can go and it keeps getting better, right? But I can observe that feeling, recognize it from an observation space, say this is what's happening, and observe it and go through the motions of observing and like being with it, but not enmeshed with it. Not taking it on as my identity saying, yes, this is an anxious thought, and where is it coming from? Whatever I need to do to talk myself through it. Again, there's several ways, and being okay with that saying, okay, and just doing that alone helps you heal rather than resisting or really being enmeshed with that feeling. Okay? So if, again, if you want any help, any guidance on this work, on this journey that you are on, again, just pop over into my show notes and you can sign up for a session with me and I will see you in next weeks video slash podcast.
Speaker 2: (13:46)
If you don't know, I do my podcast. If you're listening on audio, I do a pod, my podcast on YouTube now. It's a video you can stare at my face with my headphones on. Hi. Um, and if you're on YouTube and you just wanna listen to on it to me on a podcast, I can't talk tonight. It's been a long day. Y'all been a long weekend. Um, but you can go ahead and look for, but still she thrives on basically any of the podcast platforms. So I'm all over. And then my Instagram and Facebook, I will have all those links listed in the show notes. And let's take a collective big inhale together. Inhale and release. Woo. Here's to another awesome week. Love you guys, and I will see you soon. Bye.

  continue reading

81 episoade

Artwork
iconDistribuie
 
Manage episode 401926376 series 3431743
Content provided by Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact Mentor, Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach, Gaslighting Expert, and No Contact Mentor. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact Mentor, Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach, Gaslighting Expert, and No Contact Mentor or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ro.player.fm/legal.

Grab your free 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation here: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

All my current offers!

Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/

1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/

1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/queens-of-peace-coaching-program2/

Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/

My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd

OTHER FREE FUN:

30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter:

https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter

Abuse Recovery Affirmations:

https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations

INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/

TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy

Email : FierceMamaC@gmail.com

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT:

Speaker 1: (00:00)
Welcome to, but still she thrives. This is your host, Christie Jade. Today we're gonna talk about five ways that you can become an observer of your thoughts so you can grow and heal after abuse. All right, so let's dive in. Number one, this is one of the best ways that you can really become an observer, and what this does is helps you heal because you're able to set yourself, maybe we can view it as a way or outside of your feelings. Sometimes we identify with our feelings saying things such as I'm anxious. And a way to shift that is to think of it more as I am currently having an anxious feeling or anxious thoughts, right? So number one is mindfulness or doing mindful meditations. And that involves sitting quietly and observing your thoughts without judgment. And this can take little practice, but I promise you, you can get there.
Speaker 1: (01:09)
By practicing mindfulness regularly, you can develop the skill of being an impartial observer. And that when you can really do that, when you can again, take yourself kind of out of being enmeshed with your own feelings, your own thoughts, that can really, really help you heal. So one way to do this is start by focusing on your breath and then gradually expanding your awareness to include thoughts as they arise. And then you notice them without getting caught up in the emotional charge of them, right? Or the content of what the actual thoughts are without going into them deeper with just being with them without judgment. Again, this can take time. This is something I do with my somatic healing. So if you wanna go for a fun journey, um, it's, uh, somatic healing is just amazing. I just did a session with a client today.
Speaker 1: (02:15)
It was just epic. I love it. It's really amazing work. So you can always look in the show notes on how to work with me. Number two is journaling. If you are a writer like I am, I love writing stuff down. I have diaries from when I was six years old, starting at six all the way through my twenties, and there's some after that too, but I kept them, you know, almost daily for a good chunk of my life. So I'm very familiar with writing and the power of writing. So you can keep a journal to record your thoughts and your feelings that come up. And by writing them down, you externalize those thoughts and
Speaker 2: (02:58)
Then it makes it easier for some depending. Again, you have to try these things out for yourself and see what you enjoy most. This is all customizable to you, but this can make for a lot of people, make it easier to observe your feelings and your thoughts objectively by writing them down. And then you take the time to reflect on what you've written, noticing any patterns or recurring themes that may come up. This can help you gain insight into your thought patterns and facilitate that healing. Yes, queen, we love to heal. We number three, self-inquiry. So if you want to engage in self-inquiry, you can ask yourself probing questions about your thoughts and your beliefs, right? You kind of go a little deeper, but keeping the emotion out of it, but logically going into a deeper, for example, if you notice a negative thought pattern, ask yourself, well, where is this coming from?
Speaker 2: (04:01)
Right? Let's say you're like, oh, I couldn't do that. I could never do that. Well, why do you say that? Where's this coming from? And you can keep going down, right? To break it down into more and more. It's kind of like when you think of a 4-year-old child, child saying, well, why? Well, why, well why right? Keeps breaking down further and further. You can do this with yourself to say like, really, how did we get here? How did we get to this thought pattern? Is it true? Is it really your thought pattern? Or is it something, let's say you were taught by your family or society, right? Or some, sometimes when we go through trauma, we cannot believe in ourselves. So it could be a thought pattern that is formed from that. So also something that's helpful is asking, does this thought pattern serve me?
Speaker 2: (04:52)
Is this helping me? It might be trying to protect you, maybe, but that's another, a whole other episode. We could talk about that, about the protectors in us. But you can say, thank you for trying to serve me, but I no longer need this. I no longer want to be protected because I want to believe I'm capable of X, Y, z, or whatever the thought pattern is. So you challenge your irrational or unhelpful thoughts by examining the evidence for and against them. And this practice can help you distance from distance yourself from those thoughts and gain perspective and what's actually true inside, right? We're talking, we talk a lot about in my podcast and my coaching, getting to the U2 0.0 and that U2 0.0 is shaken off all that nasty dirt that's covered up that gold, right? You're this solid gold block when you're born.
Speaker 2: (05:55)
And as you go through life there, there are negative thought patterns, negative beliefs, things, whether it's other people tell you, you tell yourself, you form these beliefs because of other people. Bad situations happen. Negative things can occur right in everyone's life, and it sprinkles all this dirt and muck and mud and covers up the beautiful gold bar that you are, right? So part of this healing and part of this self-inquiry can help to shake off some of those negative patterns, negative behavior, thought patterns, right? And gain you the true perspective of who you are. That gold, that shiny gold, that's the you, that's the U2 0.0 that's been covered, right? All right. Another awesome technique is the body scan technique. You may have heard of this, you may have done one before, and they can really be powerful, especially if you continuously use that, this technique.
Speaker 2: (06:58)
So this involves systematically bringing awareness to different parts of your body. This you can start from your toes up, you can go from your crown, the top of your head down. Um, I often start from the crown and go down, but you can do either way. And as you scan each body part, you observe any sensations. Again, observe, right? We're observing, not in meshing ourselves in them and getting, and not to say emotions can't come up, but what we're trying to do is to be an observer, observing the sensations, the thoughts, emotions, without trying to change them. And that's, that's where struggles can happen, right? Stress in general, I forget the exact quote, but I heard a quote somewhere that was about how when like stress basically is, or dis-ease is when you're trying to change something because it's not feeling aligned to you, right?
Speaker 2: (08:07)
But that can often make things worse. So especially in this sort of situation where we have things come up and we are so resistant to it, we so don't wanna feel it or whatever, we put up this big fight and then it just makes it feel even bigger, right? You can picture that when you have like a lot of anxiety. I know a lot of my followers deal with anxiety issues, right? When you try to fight that anxiety, what happens? Usually it makes it worse, or you can even set yourself into panic, right? Panic attacks, it's a cycle.
Speaker 2: (08:45)
So this practice of observing can help you cultivate a non-reactive awareness of your thoughts and your thoughts, connections to the bodily sensations you have. It's all tied together, right? This is why I love this body healing. It's, it's amazing and it's magical. All right? And five is cognitive behavioral therapy, which if you're in the therapy world, you have heard of this, you haven't, I'll explain it more. It is a therapeutic approach that focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns. So you can work with a therapist trained in this specific technique to learn how to recognize distorted thinking and replace it with more realistic and constructive thoughts. This is something I do in my work. I am not a therapist, as you know, I am a coach, but I do specialize in healing from abuse and have practiced this and have had success with my clients, but I'll never claim to be a CBT, um, certified.
Speaker 2: (09:58)
I am getting my somatic healing certification, and this is something we touch on. But through this process, you can become more aware of your thoughts and develop healthier cognitive habits leading to emotional wellbeing and healing, right? So there's, like I said, everyone's gonna like or not, like different modalities, different methods we use here. These are just some of them to give you examples. But by incorporating these in your daily life, you can become a more skillful observer of your thoughts, which is part of this transformation. What I find in somatic healing, what has been so beautiful, my own journey with it, and now being able to use somatic healing in my coaching sessions where we just are doing right now, I'm just practicing doing somatic healings for the entire hour basically, of our sessions because the impact, the transition is longer lasting because it is healing from the body out, right?
Speaker 2: (11:16)
Kind of like inside out when we do mindset work, which is amazing and fabulous and I love it too. Um, sometimes my when mindset, there has to be that motivation and more of a maintenance, in my opinion, where the somatic healing, and you can use them in parallel, right? But somatic healing is long lasting because it is really healing the body and like where that is stored, where the trauma is stored and actual on this body level, it's an amazing process of rewiring and shifting things from the body out, if that makes sense, right? So it's really cool to, I myself, have been able to make that shift from being in my feelings, right? We all know that's a saying, I'm in my feelings. That's a thing to being an observer and saying, whoa, I look, I'll still get triggered. Okay? There's, I went through trauma, I, I got some triggers, okay?
Speaker 2: (12:27)
That trigger comes up though now, and I've practiced this so much and it didn't take forever. So don't feel like this is like years in the making here, but I've practiced at a point that I can go and it keeps getting better, right? But I can observe that feeling, recognize it from an observation space, say this is what's happening, and observe it and go through the motions of observing and like being with it, but not enmeshed with it. Not taking it on as my identity saying, yes, this is an anxious thought, and where is it coming from? Whatever I need to do to talk myself through it. Again, there's several ways, and being okay with that saying, okay, and just doing that alone helps you heal rather than resisting or really being enmeshed with that feeling. Okay? So if, again, if you want any help, any guidance on this work, on this journey that you are on, again, just pop over into my show notes and you can sign up for a session with me and I will see you in next weeks video slash podcast.
Speaker 2: (13:46)
If you don't know, I do my podcast. If you're listening on audio, I do a pod, my podcast on YouTube now. It's a video you can stare at my face with my headphones on. Hi. Um, and if you're on YouTube and you just wanna listen to on it to me on a podcast, I can't talk tonight. It's been a long day. Y'all been a long weekend. Um, but you can go ahead and look for, but still she thrives on basically any of the podcast platforms. So I'm all over. And then my Instagram and Facebook, I will have all those links listed in the show notes. And let's take a collective big inhale together. Inhale and release. Woo. Here's to another awesome week. Love you guys, and I will see you soon. Bye.

  continue reading

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