Manage episode 356838835 series 3453774
Back in the fall of 2021, l was cloaked in low-grade misery. I had run the medicine horse to death, searched the landscape over, and the prospect of fulfillment was nil, based on seven and a half years of experience.
Some hear this and are bound to wonder, as I rationalized for most of a decade, “How could you resent being a physician? What an honor.” I do not resent being a physician, undergoing the training, or finishing residency. Medicine is a beautiful profession and absolutely the right career choice for many. What I resented was myself, for not going after what I wanted, which was something other than medicine. There was shame in that, which produced inaction and a relentless pouring over the past for answers.
This is where I found myself, back in the fall of 2021. Not seeking ways to improve my situation, I was interested in locating means to change the past and methods to numb the present. But, I was growing tired of the charade. Something had to be done.