SPFPP 218: Belonging Series - An Outcast Longing to Belong

Something Positive for Positive People

As I've been applying for grants/funding and experiencing rejection on a regular basis, I've come to realize through this series of recordings that I'm trying to fit in to places where I'm not blank enough. I'm not queer enough, black enough, or manly enough to belong in those spaces. This translates into SPFPP because it isn't enough about sex, mental health, or herpes to receive funding from places that on the surface make sense for it. It isn't blank enough to fit in because I'm not blank enough to fit in. And it took for me to realize this in order to once again reconnect with MY core and allow what radiates from it to be focused into the core of what I invest energy into. The Question mark in the center of the triangle graphic for this "Belonging Series" represents who I am. I'm someone who's lived experiences that covered that core. My healing process is deconstructing those identifiers and labels so that I can reconnect with my core and therefore let what aligns with it align with it. SPFPP is a suicide prevention resource at its core. I keep applying for sex/mental health/herpes related grants and the rejections are invalidating to me because they are. I keep trying to find community in herpes spaces, with men, in queer spaces, with other black people seeking out where my identity will be validated, and I'm only finding myself realizing I'm not blank enough to belong. Support our sponsors please: Visit http://beducate.me/spfpp and use code SPFPP to get 65% off your yearly subscription starting at just $9.99 a month!