What is Love? Thomas J. Oord on the Mystery and Definition of Love

The Table Audio w/ Evan Rosa

What is love? For something so familiar to the human experience, love is notoriously difficult to define, explain, and articulate, and even harder to embody. Our guest Thomas J. Oord has spent the last two decades thinking about the theology, science, and philosophy of love. In this episode, we cover a variety of themes and questions related to the theology of love, including: love's definition and expression, the nature of divine love, the connection between love and fear, and Christian understanding of the science and psychology of love. Oh, and a few pop-culture love song references, too. Enjoy.

Show Notes

• 0:00—Podcast intro
• 2:50—Begin interview, a man in the business of big ideas
• 7:24—For the love of wisdom and the wisdom of love
• 8:19—The problem with defining love
• 11:38—Dr. Oord’s three-part definition of love: intentionality, relationship, promotion of overall well-being
• 13:07—Reference to The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis, Wolterstorff's work on love
• 13:25—Is there only one love, or different kinds with different definitions?
• 13:39—Types of love: Agape, Philia, Eros
• 16:34—Love in pop culture and music
• 17:38—Different natures of love: loving an enemy vs. loving a child
• 20:28—Anxiety over the mysterious nature of love
• 23:00—Connecting love to shalom
• 24:24—Real examples of shalom in communities
• 27:10—Love in manners and habits of kindness
• 29:15—Intermission
• 31:07—The science of love
• 38:42—Does the lover receive benefit from his/her own loving?
• 41:24—"As you wish..." means "I love you"; how The Princess Bride explains the relationship between obedience is love
• 42:44—Loving God; does God benefit from our love and obedience?
• 44:28—Loving through suffering and the relationship between fear and love
• 52:20—End interview, credits

Quotes from Thomas J. Oord

• "We may not think alike, but we can love alike."
• "For me, this in spite of love, because of love, alongside of love, is a way to think about general ways in which love, as an overarching word, is expressed in our lives day‑to‑day."
• "Love is the kind of word that has many aspects and dimensions that a person can describe rightfully or truthfully and yet not capture everything they want to say about love."
• "Love has one definition but many forms. If an activity is truly loving, it must fit the general definition, but there are lots of different ways in which we can love."
• "We oftentimes want to judge others based upon what we think is the right thing and what we're capable of and what the 'normal' person is capable of. We need to open ourselves up to the possibility that what some people are capable of is different than others because of their bodies, because of their histories, because of the communities they're a part of."

Credits

• The Table is sponsored by generous grants from the John Templeton Foundation, Templeton Religion Trust, and The Blankemeyer Foundation
• Theme music by The Brilliance
• Production and engineering by The Narrativo Group
• Production Assistance by Laura Crane
• Edited and mixed by TJ Hester
• Special thanks to Thomas J. Oord
• Evan Rosa on Twitter
• CCT on Twitter