The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie an ...
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Podcast by Trixie Bloom
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Monét X Change & the Subtle Levels of Crazy with Trixie
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Prepare yourselves to be regaled by tales of the magical, the mysterious, and most of all the memorable, as we welcome to the pod the Queen of Commerce, the Princess of Payments, the Baroness of Bankrolls, the Countess of Capital, the Duchess of Debt, the one, the only...(She is the MOMENT): Monét X Change! There’s no more shame in your gut game! S…
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Welcome to the Golden Fountain of Vitality with Trixie and Katya
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47:36
From ancient Indian yogic texts to brittle Chinese scrolls to the age of Egyptian Pharaohs when gods walked amongst us, Urine Therapy has been the secret, golden-hued cure for ailments both minor and severe. The miraculous results of Urophagia are almost too numerous to count. Whether you're drinking it, massaging it on your skin and gums, or compl…
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Nellie the Potato-Faced Humpty B*tch with Trixie and Katya
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This week on Little Bald on the Prairie, tune in for a very special episode that the whole family will enjoy. When lying-ass Nellie falls from Laura Ingalls' beloved horse Bunny, that little potato-faced humpty b*tch fakes paralysis rather than simply admit that she's profoundly bad at riding a horse. When Bunny is scheduled to be destroyed at the …
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No Loads Refused: Live in Richmond, VA with Trixie and Katya
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Recorded live in the famed "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death" capital city of Virginia, please join us for a cordial evening of spirited conversation about art, politics, and culture. After the dessert course, we shall retire to the parlour for a snifter of cognac and a lively debate about the finer points of testicular-grooming, Timothée Chalamet'…
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Plane Jane and Lieutenant Brigadier General Cuhntalina Badussy with Katya
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Behold, everyone's favorite Drag Race Season 16 faux-villain: Plane Jane! With her shared Boston roots and actual Russian ancestry, she is essentially the little sister of Katya everyone loves to faux-hate. From hot takes on Dune 2 to an affinity for Eastern European glam-pop, get ready for a Bald interview filled with tense smiles, deliciously-awk…
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Heels and Meals with Trixie and Katya
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In a world where fashion knows no boundaries, comes a story of self-discovery, unexpected transformations, and erotic culinary adventures. When Jack Huntley is about to lose his old-school diner to a landlord who wants a fancy new restaurant led by a celebrity female chef, he decides to take things into his own hands and become that female chef. Wi…
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Paul Blart: Mall Carp with Trixie and Katya
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53:58
When a Paramus, New Jersey Van Heusen factory outlet is taken over by a vicious gang of black-market avocado dealers from British Columbia, it's up to a mild-mannered security guard to stand up to the criminals and save those business-casual khakis! This Summer, robbing a boomer sportswear company isn't going to be as easy as shooting fish in a bar…
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A Massage That Lives Happily Ever After with Trixie and Katya
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Welcome to Trixie & Katya's Le Poupée Spa, located in a gorgeously-restored halfway house in the beating heart of urine-soaked Hollywood. Forget your hideous spouse, your under-achieving children, and that rash on your inner thigh that simply won't go away, and let yourself slide into blissful relaxation with a massage that was created by six of Mo…
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You Are More Than Your Phone with Trixie and Katya
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We are proud to partner this week with the Anti Phone-Shaming League of North America to bring you a very important message: you, dear listeners, are so much more than your phone. Do you have an iPhone X? An iPhone SE? Or even an Android? You're not alone. We are here for you. We want you to know that you are loved, appreciated, and your self-worth…
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It's a TWISTER! with Trixie and Katya
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52:23
We here at BALD, LLC, including our main counsel Henry Z. Winkleschmiggens IV, Esq., would like to take this opportunity to clear the air regarding the rampant online rumors surrounding Trixie Mattel and Helen Hunt's fictional father in 1996's epic action movie Twister. Is Dr. Jo Harding's father, who was literally sucked into a massive tornado whi…
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Does Our Art Threaten You? with Trixie and Katya
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Does our art threaten you? Does it make you completely reconsider your physical existence? Does it make you stop and question the status quo and stop sleepwalking through life like a sheep? Does it make you feel weird and nervous and uncomfortable and unsure if your houseplants want to murder you? Does it set fire to your neat little sphere of infl…
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The Official "The Dolls are the Dolls Fan Club!" with Trixie and Katya
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Do you love Trixie and Katya with all your heart? Would you like to find a club of other humans who share your affinity for these two remarkable queens? Well now you can! Sign up for the official "The Dolls are the Dolls Fan Club" to join an elite group of fabulous individuals who are super-duper extra special! Exclusive membership benefits include…
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Coitus With a Waffle with Trixie and Katya
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54:40
As the morning sunshine warms my bare bottom and my feet feel the cool chill of the kitchen tile, I reach into the freezer. A blast of cold air greets me, turning my nipples so hard I could dial an iPhone. As a shiver pleasantly travels south from my torso to my abdomen to the very tip of my sheathed sword, I saunter to the counter where I insert a…
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Higher Than Giraffe Genitalia with Dulcé Sloan and Trixie
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Please prepare your mind, body, and soul for Trixie's delightful chat with stand-up comedian, actress, makeup mogul, and Daily Show correspondent; the eminently-hilarious Dulcé Sloan! From plane-travel safety tips to in-depth kimchi reviews to African mammal facts, this episode is a once-in-a-lifetime journey through an enchanted forest populated s…
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Christmas Dinner at Judi Dench's House with Bianca Del Rio and Katya
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'Twas the night before Christmas, and the house was filled with holly berry stench. Bianca Del Rio was headed to Surrey, to have dinner with Dame Judi Dench. The car service was booked, excitement hung in the air, but little did she know, a tiny airborne virus was also there. As the Covid test came back positive, and she had to cancel her trip, all…
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Circling Back for a Touch-Base to Close the Loop on the Deliverables with Trixie and Katya
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Hi, Deborah. Thanks so much for taking the time to have a one-on-one with me this morning. I know that 8am Zooms can be logistically difficult, but Sheila from accounting pinged me yesterday, and per our post-mortem with Ted from the regional office, I wanted to stop herding cats and prevent this whole team from becoming a dumpster fire. As it turn…
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This Episode Produced & Directed by Simone Biles with Bob the Drag Queen and Katya
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As the world prepares for the beauty, grace, and raw athleticism of the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris, we are so proud to have had the honor of working with talented Los Angeles director, cinematographer, and exotic animal trainer Simone Biles. She has graciously taken a little bit of time off from her life as a Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright an…
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The Sorta New Year's Episode? with Trixie and Katya
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Is this an extra-special quasi-Holiday/New-Year's episode where Trixie and Katya talk about decorating a tree? Perhaps. Is this an episode where they confront a deep, yearning desire for a miniature ceramic holiday village? Maybe. Is this an episode where Trixie and Katya wish you and yours a wonderful holiday and a prolifically-prosperous new year…
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Soaring Like a Fabulous Bald Eagle with Trixie and Katya
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There are no endings, Baldies. Just events that precede a new beginning. As we rapidly approach the conclusion of 2023, let us close our cold, darkened hearts to the old and open them to the new. We all get the same 365 days in the new year; the difference, you magnificent bastards, is what you do with them. From all of us here at the underwater vo…
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The Darkest Night of the Soul with Trixie and Katya
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As the days grow shorter and the nights longer, may all of us in the Northern Hemisphere prepare ourselves for December 21st. It is the day we commemorate the Winter Solstice and honor the darkest night of the year. Please pause what you're doing, bow your head, and honor the shadows by journeying deep within to reflect, restore and nourish your sp…
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It's a Tumescent Holiday Miracle! with Trixie and Katya
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As the holiday season rapidly ascends to the apex of yuletide cheer, you may find yourself experiencing a warm, tingly sensation deep within your abdomen. It's a condition known as "Merry Malady" and it affects .000001 % of the population. Side effects include dry mouth, erotic internet searches containing the phrase "Candy Cane," consumption of Tr…
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Peri-Care for Your Derrière with Trixie and Katya
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As part of our ongoing Public Service Announcement Series here at Bald, LLC, this week we'd like to focus on proper perineal care. If you didn't already know, managing the cleanliness of your bottom is a vital part of everyone's daily hygiene regimen. As one posterior hygienist told us during a recent cleaning, you should recite the following sever…
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Live & Leather Clad in New Orleans with Trixie and Katya
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1:28:07
From the land of jazz, gumbo, public drunkenness, and second lines at Delta's baggage claim, Trixie and Katya bring you an auditory experience of such unabashedly sultry sexiness and salacious prurience that your ears will climax long before you do. Start building your credit up today! Open a Chime Checking account with at least a $200 qualifying d…
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Kathy Griffin & Her Triumphant Journey From the D-List to the PTSD-List with Trixie
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Comedian, actress, host, Emmy Award-winner, and absolute fu**ing legend Kathy Griffin stops by the Bald studio to chat with Trixie about My Life on the D-List, a certain infamous picture from 2017, and her wildly-anticipated return to touring with 2024's My Life on the PTSD-List stand-up tour! Get your tickets now at https://kathygriffin.com! Start…
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A Dazzling Woodland Sprite Dinner Party for Forest Faeries with Trixie and Katya
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48:08
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What better time of year to entertain your friends and throw a mesmerizing Fall fête than the week after we turn back those George Nelson Mid-century Modern clocks! Welcome your guests with an eye-catching and sphincter-tensing tablescape of such vibrant autumnal colors that they stop, gag, and immediately make plans to burn that oh-so-boring-2022 …
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