Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
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Having seen so many around me suffering from stress, addiction, suicidal thoughts, anxiety and depression, I decided to embark upon a 9-year journey that would take me to over 35 countries living with and learning from shamans, gurus, monks and tribes. I studied 16 religions and spiritualities, ancient wisdom and modern science, and spent 50 days meditating in total solitude, all in an effort to discover the secrets to a peaceful mind. If you’re ready to let go of your negative thoughts and ...
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This season on How's Work?, iconic couples therapist Esther Perel focuses on the hard conversations we're afraid to have in our jobs: Colleagues navigating the new etiquette of a work from home workforce. Newsrooms whose journalists feel that covering breaking news has broken them. A doctor who wants to walk away from his profession, during a pandemic. And lobbyists whose fight for racial equality ends up dividing them. Esther Perel brings a new perspective to the invisible forces that shape ...
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Does Growing Up Mean Growing Apart?
1:03:05
1:03:05
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They grew up together and now run a production company. They are contending with the growing pains of transitioning from best friends to coworkers and the challenges of running, essentially, a family business. Esther helps them find the complementarity in their roles and see their story as growing and developing even in the face of challenges. Lear…
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When We're Not Feeling Good Enough
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22:13
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22:13
Everyone will have failures in life. The more success we have, the more times we'll have failed. That's the nature of learning, growth and success. We will all have things that we feel inadequate about. Michael Jordan might be a great basketball player, but his Mandarin might be atrocious. The reason we feel inadequate is not because we're imperfec…
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How to Live Authentically in a Fake World
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24:10
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To live authentically, we have to know ourselves. To know ourselves, we have to spend a little time tuning out the influencers and tuning into our heart's intentions, values and instincts. This is how we go beyond the mind's thoughts and into our true calling in life. We are being influenced everywhere we look, from the advertisements we see to the…
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Esther Calling - My Mom Should Have Set a Different Example
42:57
42:57
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42:57
Esther speaks to a woman who is experiencing a kind of a double story. She resents her mother for the choices she made and the example she set, while also wondering if she keeps choosing the safe person as a way to combat those childhood feelings of abandonment. Esther helps her untangle these complicated feelings. Learn more about your ad choices.…
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Mastering your emotions is much like mastering a foreign language. At first, you will feel you are not making any progress. For some time, it will take a great deal of sustained effort to translate basic sentences in your head. But eventually, it it will seep into your subconscious and you will realize you are fluent. And every day you practice, yo…
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There's You, There's Me, There's US
47:11
47:11
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This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A middle-aged couple, together for seventeen years, best friends and partners who, despite their loving and positive relationship, go months without connecting sexually. He transitioned 10 years ago, and they’re both experiencing the physical changes of aging. Esther guides …
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Dealing with a Negative Experience
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23:08
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What is the root causes of experiencing negative situations in our lives? How can we remove those causes? What can we do when the inevitable unfortunate circumstances of our life do happen? How can we face those most challenging times? And what can we do to prevent them altogether? I answer these questions and more in today's podcast. Please enjoy …
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Esther Calling - Love is a Trap
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He gets to a certain point in relationships before he starts fantasizing about his ex-boyfriends or other future partners. Esther talks him through what he might be holding onto from his childhood that makes his otherwise healthy relationships feel stifling. Esther Callings are a one-time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They ar…
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How to Survive a Dysfunctional Family
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25:25
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25:25
We live in a dysfunctional society. We have big problems that seem intractable. The well being of every person is not the priority of our global governments. So it is no wonder that many of us come from dysfunctional families. How can we survive the trauma that was normalized as children? How can we heal from the anxiety and PTSD we've developed? H…
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I Think I Married the Wrong Person
54:49
54:49
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54:49
She gets angry when she feels devalued and put down. He intellectualizes and rationalizes instead of sympathizing. Esther helps them to see each other and work towards dissolving the patterns they developed to protect themselves. For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light …
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#1 Reason Why Relationships Fail
24:48
24:48
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24:48
Not every relationship will last forever. Not every person is meant to be in our life. But whether someone is in our life for a brief moment or for the rest of our life, every relationship has something to teach us. How we relate to ourselves, others, and the world around us is what determines the quality of our life. When we live in harmony, we fe…
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Esther Calling - My Exes Exes Keep Ruining My Relationships
50:58
50:58
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50:58
A woman whose ex-boyfriend cheated on her with his ex girlfriend ends a perfectly good relationship because she can't trust how close her current partner is with his own ex. She wonders if two people can meet each other's needs without having to sacrifice a part of themselves and if she can ever move past her fears and let love into her life. Esthe…
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Is Success More Important Than Happiness?
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24:14
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Society rewards success. It is the most alluring addiction there is because it is the only addiction that we are celebrated for having. It becomes ingrained into everyone of us that we should delay our happiness until we have achieved success later in life. But what happens when we postpone our happiness? Is happiness greater than success? Will wea…
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Esther Perel on New AI - Artificial Intimacy
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1:07:17
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This week we're airing a very special episode of Brené Brown's Unlocking Us where Esther and Brené discuss how we manage the paradox of exploring the world of social media and emerging technologies while staying tethered to our humanness. How do we create IRL relationships where we see and value others and feel seen and valued in the context of con…
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The Spiritual Path to Material Wealth
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37:04
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37:04
There is an infinite amount of success and wealth in the world. There is no limit except by our own beliefs and mindset. The economy is not me versus my neighbor. Others don't have to fail so we can succeed. In the information age where any creative idea can become a success, every one of us can achieve our dreams. We just need to know how to do it…
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Esther Calling - My Husband, His Other Wife, and Me
40:42
40:42
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40:42
They were aid workers who met abroad, fell in love, and came to the States to get married. After two years, her partner returned to his home country to fulfill his familial duty and marry his brother's widow. Esther talks her through what comes next. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited…
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See Every Moment Like It Were the Aurora Borealis
24:47
24:47
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24:47
There is a dazzling light show happening right before our eyes all the time. The way the energetic photons from the sun bounce off the objects around us in dazzling color every minute is astounding. Most of us simply fail to see the brilliance, vibrance and newness in each moment. In today's podcast, I talk about what prevents us from seeing the ma…
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Sex, Comedy and Context: A Live Conversation with Trevor Noah
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49:45
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49:45
Not all conversations with Esther have to happen behind closed doors. Last week, Esther sat down with Trevor Noah, live from the Vox Media Podcast Stage at SXSW in Austin, for a candid look at the state of comedy in the world we live in. The two of them uncovered some surprising similarities between being a comic and being a therapist. Esther showe…
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This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A woman realizes she doesn’t want to have children and comes to Esther for help expressing this to her husband, who passionately wishes to be a father. Not wanting to deny her husband this opportunity, she comes up with a solution, but Esther encourages them to talk more hon…
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How to Stay Positive When Everyone Else is Doing Better Than You
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27:31
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What happens inside us when we get angry or jealous because other people are doing better than us? What can we do when our ambitions and goals are not being achieved according to our timetable? And how can we reach for the stars but still be happy if we only catch the moon? In today's podcast episode, I talk about the 5 obstacles to peace and happi…
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If He's A "High Value Man", What Am I?
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33:27
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33:27
Esther talks to a woman who, despite her best efforts, finds herself implicated in the same toxic cycle of abuse from her partner that she grew up watching between her parents. Rationally, she knows she deserves better, but just can't seem to get out from under this painful repetition of events. Esther talks her through why she thinks she finds her…
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How to Overcome Impatience to Improve Your Life
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24:35
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24:35
In our fast-paced world, it's very easy to internalize the hyper speed frenzy all around us. But this frantic pace is destroying our mental health, our relationships, and our lives. We may feel like we're getting more done, but in truth that chaos comes at a price we will pay later. We are human beings, not corporate ladder climbers. We need rest t…
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I Love You One Day, I Hate You The Next
53:10
53:10
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53:10
They are a young couple with a small child and they fight non-stop. And while they each have good intentions, they struggle to hear or see each other. What initially made them fall in love with each other, they now experience as a threat. Can they learn to fight but still stay connected to each other? For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther in…
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Unless you live under a rock, you have probably experienced some kind of betrayal trauma. It is the most prevalent kind of trauma known to man and practically universal. Someone at some time in your life has broken your trust, not cared for you the way you deserved, abused or taken advantage of you. It's part of being human. But no matter what we'v…
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Say More - Ira Glass on Is This It?
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49:16
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49:16
Ira Glass has created over 800 episodes of the genre-defining radio show and podcast This American Life. Each week on the show he weaves together stories around a central narrative theme and he never shies away from the big hard questions. But after almost 30 years of producing the show- he's asking himself and Esther, is this it? For the first tim…
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When we embark upon our path to peace, we frequently find ourselves at a fork in the road. One way, is safe, easy, familiar and has the allure of peacefulness. The other way is scary, unknown, adventurous and requires great courage. One way seeks outer peace, but the other way creates inner peace. When our inner peace is dependent on external circu…
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I Trust You to Always Tell Me When I'm Wrong
56:35
56:35
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56:35
Too often we can focus on troubles in our relationships and not what happens when the relationship goes right. This week, Esther explores the inner workings of a pivotal pair with podcast royalty Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway. The hosts of Pivot join Esther to delve into what makes them great to listen to and how being open to surprise and differ…
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Human beings need social connection in order to live full, happy, safe and protected lives. It's hardwired into our DNA. No human was brought into this world without the love and nurturing of someone else. But too often in our modern society, we find there is no tribe, no village, and no community to offer that safety and comfort. In today's podcas…
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Esther Calling - I Lost Him, But I Lost Myself Too
46:23
46:23
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46:23
She lost her husband five years ago. Now, she's finally ready to start picking up the pieces of her life to begin dating. Esther talks her through what it might mean to reframe her memories of their relationship. This conversation contains discussions of depression and death by suicide. Please take care listening. For the first time on the U.S. sta…
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Stop Torturing Yourself with Your Thoughts
31:14
31:14
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31:14
Why do we suffer a tragic event long after it's over? Why are our joyous celebrations so short-lived? And why do minor inconveniences and annoyances have the power to ruin our whole day? It's all because of the conditioned voice in our head. For most of us, that voice is the unconscious, unintentional result of our upbringing and experiences in lif…
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He Wants it Everyday, She Wants it Never
55:15
55:15
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55:15
They find themselves at an erotic stalemate. Married for 20 years with four children, they have lost their way with each other. He wants it all the time, and she seems to want it never. Esther encourages them to create sexual invitations rather than nightly demands. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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Dissatisfied with Where You Are in Life?
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29:18
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29:18
No matter who you are, no matter where you live, no matter how rich or how poor, job or no job, we can all fall prey to that creeping dissatisfaction that can ruin our lives. Fortunately, peace and happiness are possible for each and every one of us. Right here. Right now. We can accept where we are, we can work towards a brighter future, and we ca…
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As They Like Me More, I Like Myself Less
59:28
59:28
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59:28
They are new mothers after a long wait and they are both struggling in their roles at the same international organization. One can't seem to get out from under her father's shadow to maintain an agreeable relationship with her male bosses, and the other is just returning to work after staying at home to take care of their child--a role that she nev…
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