1748 Calling All Control-Freaks

BIG Life Devotional | Daily Devotional for Women

There’s an 8 year old video that recently went viral with millions of views online. A little boy named Jordan stands with his pastor at the front of the church to get baptized. The pastor is doing his baptism speech, and you can see little Jordan growing with anticipation of his big moment. And just as the pastor lifts his hand and says, “In the name of the Father …”, little Jordan shouts, “I’ll do it”, and dunks himself under water. He comes up and says, “I did it!”

He was waiting and waiting and waiting, and finally he just decides he will do it himself. I have to giggle and wonder where Jordan is today, 8 years later.

It’s really the perfect picture of us. We wait and wait, then we just decide to do it ourselves. Sometimes God can just take entirely too long. And what happens when we can’t wait for God … well, we typically make a mess.

Where are my control-freak sisters at? Control freaks manifest themselves in several ways, one being anxiety and another being impatience. You worry about the details and how it’s all going to work out, and in your need to have it all work out according to your plan, you start rushing it. Is that you?

This morning I did a google search for control freaks in the Bible. Interestingly enough, AI came back with 2 examples … and they were both women! We have Martha and we have Sarah.

Martha was a woman who wanted everything to be perfect, but in her pursuit of a super clean house and an impressive meal on the table, she completely missed the point. Jesus was at her house for dinner, so she was busy and filled with anxiety. I mean let’s cut her a break, if Jesus were at your house, wouldn’t you be a little anxious too? What in the world would you cook him? (Jesus, at my house you’re getting pumpkin bread because that’s the one thing I can do super well every time.)

Martha is flying around the house like a mad woman, cooking and cleaning, while her sister Mary sits with Jesus and listens to everything he is saying. I imagine Martha has been giving Mary the look … you know the one that says, “girl, you better get in this kitchen and help me.” But, Mary just sat there with Jesus. I bet Martha got extra loud with the pots and pans, maybe even a little groan or sigh to signal her need for help … still Mary just sat there.

So finally, out of absolute frustration, Martha goes to Jesus and says in Luke 10: 40, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Martha was an anxious control-freak, choosing to spend the one evening she has Jesus in her house foolishly stressed about cooking and cleaning. She missed the whole point. Jesus was there to spend time with her, not be impressed by an immaculate house and 4 course meal.

Looking back at a whole decade of my life, I realize I was a whole lot more like Martha than Mary. I got caught up in how everything looked and missed what was really happening. What was really happening is my children were growing up and they would never be that little again. What was really happening is time was passing that I would never get back. But dang it, my house was spotless and I had 7 perfectly decorated Christmas trees.

Looking back, I make my own self gag. I was the control-freak missing the whole point. I’m so grateful Jesus didn’t give up on me during those years, and I’m really grateful he didn’t just leave me like I was. Now, I can sit with you and have the most beautiful conversation while the pumpkin bread is burning in the oven, and we’ll just add extra butter to soften it back up. It will be okay.

Maybe you need to say that with me today. It will be okay.

It will be okay if it doesn’t all get done. It will be okay if it’s not all perfect. There are more important things here.

Now, the second example of a control-freak in our Bible … Sarah. Sarah was a woman with a promise, but that promise felt long since expired in her wait. She was a whole lot like little Jordan standing in that pool of water waiting, waiting, waiting, then finally saying, “I’ll do it!”

You see, Sarah and her husband Abraham had been promised by God to have all these descendants. Now descendants come one way … babies. But they had no babies. At the time of God’s promise, they were both already old. In fact, Sarah was in her late 60’s and couldn’t have children. So the promise seemed really far-fetched, but they received it anyway. Lord, bring on the babies as you have promised.

So they wait, and they wait, and they wait, and nothing happens. And Sarah’s standing there feeling like little Jordan in the pool, wondering how long this is going to take. And finally, Sarah says, “I’ll do it!”

How? She will have her young, fertile assistant sleep with her husband, and she can have the baby for them. Yes, that’s how God will fulfill his purpose and give us children!

Wow, sometimes us control-freaks really like to give God a helping hand, don’t we? Like God needs us to get involved with his divine design and human it all up. But we are impatient, and waiting can really bring out the crazy in us.

Sure enough, Sarah acts crazy and creates absolute chaos for her family. Her assistant has a baby, Sarah’s jealous of her, and poor old Abraham is caught in the middle of it all. And all this time, God had promised to do it the right way. All this time, God had the way already made and the time would be perfect.

At just the right time, Sarah did become pregnant herself with their promised child. Sarah was 90! It was 23 years from the time of the promise until the fulfillment of that promise. It took from chapter 12 of Genesis all the way to chapter 21 of Genesis. That’s 9 chapters of life.

I don’t know what chapter of life you’re in right now, but I bet there’s something you’ve been waiting on and it feels like it’s taking entirely too long. But here’s what all us control freaks need to remember today … Genesis 21:1-2, “The Lord kept his word and did for Sarah exactly what he had promised. She became pregnant and she gave birth to a son for Abraham in his old age. This happened at just the time God had said it would.”

You don’t need to do it yourself. God will do it, and he will do it perfectly. What’s causing us such issues is our very unnecessary timeline.

A few years ago, I was impatiently petitioning God for a continued request for our family. Lord, when will you bring our daughter back? When will you make her whole? By Christmas, okay God. Christmas would come and go, so I would extend the deadline. Okay, God, I’ll give you more time … how about by next Summer. And finally, I heard God say, “Take me off your timeline.” Then he asked me for 30.

30? 30 days, God? I could be good with 30 more days. No, he said, 30 years. Would you trust me with this if it takes 30 years? Would you still have faith that I am working if you’re waiting for 30 years? Would you still choose joy every day in 30 years of waiting for me to bring her back.

And I said yes. Yes, I will wait for 30 years. And something truly incredible happened the moment I agreed to that 30 … I let go of control, all anxiety and impatience was dropped, and I’ve been filled with nothing but absolute peace since.

Maybe it’s happening in the next chapter … or maybe it’s 9 chapters like Sarah. Or maybe it’s the full 30 years God prepared me for. No matter what, I will not be the control-freak who gets mad and huffy and starts throwing stuff around so someone feels sorry for me and comes to help. Nor will I be the control-freak who twists and turns things in my own attempt to fix things my way. I will not baptize my own self here!

One last funny story. A few weeks ago at our BIG Life Outer Banks Retreat, we had gotten up on Friday morning for a sunrise plunge in the ocean. The waves were absolutely wild and swept half of us out on our first steps in the water. Linda had asked to be baptized that morning, so I stood with Linda in the water and everyone gathered around. At this time, the water was up to about our knees, but just as I lifted my hand to say, “In the name of the Father, the Son …..”, all the water was swept out and we were standing on nothing but wet sand.

So we waited and waited and waited. I said, “Linda, we’re going to wait for the next wave to come in. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

Just then, a wave came in and absolutely slammed us both. Linda went completely under and barrel rolled to the shore. I didn’t baptize Linda … God did that himself!

His timing, his way. It is literally my favorite baptism ever.

So, my sister, are you going to do this yourself, or are you going to really let God do this? Release control … you never really had it anyway.

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