Ted Turner: Captain Outrageous

Corporate Gossip

Content warning: this episode references child abuse and suicide

Ted Turner has more BDE in his pencil mustache than Zuck and Musk combined. In the span of 5 years he captained a champion sailing yacht through the deadly celtic sea, pulled out an underdog win in the America’s cup, bought two professional sports teams, and created the first ever 24-hour news network: CNN. His life is what LinkedIn Lunatics fantasize about. He created TBS, TNT, TCM, Cartoon Network, AND the iconic environmental superhero cartoon, “Captain Planet.” He is cherished by unproblematic icons Jimmy Carter and Jane Fonda and despised by degenerate psychopath Rupert Murdoch.

Turner disrupted the media industry and spent years on top, but like so many of the characters in our podcast, he couldn’t conquer his inner demons. Deep pain from a traumatic childhood and unaddressed mental health issues destroyed his marriage and threatened his fortune. In this episode, Becca & Adam attempt to trace the life of the chaos cowboy while expertly pronouncing the word "documentary."

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Hosts: Becca Platsky ([e-mail]) Adam Platsky ([e-mail])

Produced by: Michael Albanese @bigmanmike

Cover art:

Creative director @laurensubers Photographer @danielcanophoto @instajasp Props / Wardobe @__julesrose__ @mellerycellery Makeup / Hair @mardeaubeauty

Timestamps:

8:40 - Corporate Gossip #1: In terms of Corporate Villains, David Zaslav, who we’ll discuss next week, is the straight up evil, sociopathic type. But the other Corporate Villian in this story, Ted Turner, is more like the villain with a heart of gold.

36:50 - Corporate Gossip #2: Would you believe that the reason we have a 24 hour news cycle in America is because of Ted Turners undiagnosed mania?

48:10 - Corporate Gossip #3: Now it’s time for Jimmy Carter to make an appearance as the empathetic king and Ted Turner’s daddy figure (by the end of this segment, Jimmy Carter will be all of our dads).

59:10 - Corporate Gossip #5: As Ted’s professional life is unraveling, Queen Jane Fonda throws in the towel and Ted lives out our collective fantasy - taking revenge on a boss that did you dirty.

1:04:20 - Corporate Gossip #6: Let’s meet back up with Ted in present day as David Zaslav is meticulously picking apart his legacy with his hands and licking his little fingies like he’s elbow deep in a pile of buffalo ribs.