My donor cycle has been cancelled. Now what?

Donor Conception and Surrogacy

Here's a bonus mid-week episode continuing the focus that other fellow poddies have been giving to your stories about cancelled treatment as well as the brilliant open letter @definingmum shared on her insta.

We chatted with the lovely Jen @ivfpineapple who had her donor treatment cancelled and we know that there is a lot of anxiety and unease about when treatment will resume, whether some treatments might be prioritised and this is certainly something Jen is worried about.

Trying to conceive

Jen and her hubby had been trying for over three years and were still told they'd have to wait a year before being referred for fertility treatment as Jen had been pregnant naturally but sadly miscarried.

Jen then fell pregnant with IUI but had a missed miscarriage before moving on to IVF. By their second appointment, Jen was told she had a very low AMH and was told they needed to have IVF.

Feeling let down

Jen felt let down that nothing was checked earlier, her AMH wasn't checked earlier, when she miscarried instead they went through three IVF cycles - none of which worked but only ever got to one egg to transfer on day 3 but they never worked. She was 32 and being told she had good egg quality. We had conversations with private clinics who wanted her to carry on with her own eggs despite Jen already thinking about using a donor.

Using a donor

Jen talks about how they were on a waiting list for an anonymous egg donor which she was really not sure about. Then Jen met someone on facebook who her and her hubby have now met and become good friends with. Jen talks about the importance of support through all of this, having time to process and think about it, the importance of advocating for the things you believe in and making the right choices at the start so you don't feel let down at the end. They had started their cycle with their donor who had gone for her scan and was due to start her stims in the morning.. this was happening as we were all going into lockdown. By the afternoon Jen was told that her clinic were following HFEA guidance to stop donor cycles. Jen talked about how gutted her donor was and how she wanted to give them a baby by Christmas, about how this has impacted on their whole family as well.

Coping with the impact of COVID-19

Just having to take it a day at a time, she works for the NHS and is throwing herself into it, avoiding 'fertility thoughts' and also finding it tricky not being able to spend time with friends and family. She is trying not to focus on the impact coronavirus is having on their donor cycle. Be mindful of the online community if it might be a trigger.

SOCIAL MEDIA:

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Kate

Jen

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(not fertilitypoddy as I said in this episode)