Noshing With Colonel Joshua M. McConkey, M.D. – October 10, 2024

Ira's Everything Bagel

Author, Be The Weight Behind The Spear

This week on Ira’s Everything Bagel Podcast, host Ira Sternberg dives deep into a compelling conversation with Colonel Joshua M. McConkey, M.D., author of the acclaimed book, Be The Weight Behind The Spear.

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Dr. McConkey’s Leadership Ethos: Be The Weight Behind The Spear

The episode opens with Dr. McConkey explaining the inspiration behind his book’s title, Be The Weight Behind The Spear. He reveals how this concept serves as his personal leadership philosophy, emphasizing the importance of supporting those at the forefront. Throughout his distinguished career, Dr. McConkey has extensively worked with military personnel who embody the “tip of the spear,” putting themselves in harm’s way to defend our nation. His book delves into the critical role played by the “weight behind the spear” – those who provide the essential support structure that empowers our frontline heroes to succeed.

Leadership in the Age of COVID-19

Dr. McConkey expresses his concerns about the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on the younger generation. He observes a decline in face-to-face communication skills and a sense of entitlement among some youth. He attributes this, in part, to a lack of strong leadership development during these formative years.

Building a Stronger Community: Everyone Has a Role to Play

Dr. McConkey passionately advocates for fostering a more engaged citizenry. He emphasizes the importance of getting everyone involved in their communities, fostering a sense of shared purpose and responsibility.

Addressing the Mental Health Crisis in America

The conversation sheds light on the concerning rise in mental health issues across the United States. Dr. McConkey, an ER doctor with over 20 years of experience, offers valuable insights into this critical public health challenge.

Why Social Media Might Not Be the Answer for Our Youth

Dr. McConkey sheds light on his decision to restrict his children’s access to social media accounts. He expresses his concerns about the potential negative influences of social media on young minds, particularly when it comes to social interaction and mental well-being.

From Winning the Lottery to Leading in Iraq: Dr. McConkey’s Life-Changing Experiences

The podcast delves into Dr. McConkey’s fascinating life journey. He shares the story of how he “won the lottery” (referring to a fortunate turn of events) and how his experiences serving in Iraq profoundly impacted him as a person.

Holding Kids Accountable: A Cornerstone of Strong Leadership

Dr. McConkey underscores the importance of holding children accountable for their actions. He emphasizes that this fosters responsibility, resilience, and essential life skills.

Empowering Teachers: Building the Next Generation of Leaders

The episode highlights Dr. McConkey’s strong advocacy for empowering teachers. He recognizes the crucial role educators play in shaping young minds and believes they deserve greater support and resources.

Mentorship for the “COVID Generation”: Building Bridges, Not Walls

Dr. McConkey proposes one-on-one mentorship as a powerful tool to bridge the gap and empower the “COVID generation” with the leadership skills they need to thrive. He emphasizes that mentorship can be fostered organically within communities and doesn’t require expensive programs.

Leadership, Integrity, and Accountability: Free and Priceless

Dr. McConkey delivers a powerful message: the core values of leadership, integrity, and accountability can be taught and instilled without a hefty price tag. He emphasizes the importance of leading by example and fostering a culture of responsibility within our communities.

Colonel Joshua M. McConkey, M.D.: A Life Dedicated to Service

The podcast concludes by highlighting Dr. McConkey’s impressive background. We learn about his extensive military service in the Air Force Reserve, his distinguished career as an emergency room physician, and his experience as a professor at Duke University. Dr. McConkey is a decorated veteran, a board-certified physician, and a passionate advocate for the next generation.

Stay Connected with Dr. Joshua McConkey

Be sure to visit Dr. McConkey’s website to learn more about his work and his book, Be The Weight Behind The Spear. You can also follow him on social media to stay updated on his upcoming events and initiatives.

Join the Conversation: Share Your Leadership Journey

We encourage you to share your thoughts on the episode and Dr. McConkey’s message. Have you faced challenges related to leadership or communication in today’s world? How can we work together to build a stronger, more engaged community? Leave a comment below and share

Links:

• Josh McConkey for America Website
• Weight Behind The Spear Website
• Josh McConkey Facebook
• Josh McConkey LinkedIn
• Josh McConkey YouTube
• Josh McConkey X

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Read The Full Transcript

Joshua M. McConkey Full Transcript
Ira Sternberg: Welcome to Ira’s Everything Bagel, where I talk with intriguing people about everything: their passions, pursuits, and points of view. One such passion for my guest is leadership and the future of America. Colonel Joshua M. McConkey, MD, has served in the military for more than two decades, has been an ER doctor for more than 20 years, has run for Congress, taught at Duke University, and written an award-winning and bestselling book. It’s called Be the Weight Behind the Spear, available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all the usual places. For everything about Josh, go to joshmcconkeyforamerica.com, or waitbehindthespear.com. You can also follow him on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, and X. Dr. Josh, welcome to the show.
Colonel Joshua McConkey: Thank you, Ira. I appreciate you having me on.
Ira Sternberg: So, what’s the metaphor behind “the weight behind the spear”?
Colonel McConkey: For me, that’s my personal leadership ethos. I’ve been in the military for 22, 23 years, and I’ve worked with a lot of Special Operations people. We call these men and women the “tip of the spear”—the ones kicking down doors, doing amazing things. We can’t all be that tip of the spear. I don’t take lives; I save them. But we can all be the weight behind that spear. We can get involved in our community, whether as teachers, coaches, family mentors, or volunteers, to support this generation and be the weight behind their spear for the future of our country. That’s been my leadership ethos for a while.
Ira Sternberg: That vision is optimistic, which contrasts with a lot of pessimism about the country’s future. And I should also point out that “weight” could work as W-A-I-T—having patience for those warriors out there being the spear.
Colonel McConkey: Absolutely, either way works well.
Ira Sternberg: Who do you want to read the book? Parents, community members, young people?
Colonel McConkey: Really, anyone who interacts with this generation of Americans. This is the most politically and generationally divided our country has been in a long time, and I think the youngest generation has been a bit lost. I call them the “COVID generation.” They were shut out of schools and churches and struggle to communicate without screens. This generation, whether they’re in school or coming into the workforce, needs help. Business leaders don’t realize that these are future employees. If they lack skills, it’s better to address that now than wait until they’re in the workforce. So, anyone who interacts with this generation needs to read it.
Ira Sternberg: You’re right that we’re a nation divided, not only politically but generationally and culturally. Given your background, you’re a tough guy, and you’re out to inspire people to support the future of America by being the weight behind the spear. Are you guardedly optimistic about the next 5, 10, or 20 years?
Colonel McConkey: As a military commander, I receive a lot of security briefings, and let’s just say there are plenty of threats out there, including the Chinese Communist Party and potential conflicts in the Pacific that no one wants. This generation lacks certain skills—leadership, communication, and the ability to adapt and overcome obstacles. They struggle with even simple challenges. But we can teach them these skills. This is everyone’s responsibility—teachers, parents, community leaders. I am concerned, which is why I wrote the book, but I’m optimistic that if we do the right things, America will be just fine. We’ve overcome a lot in the past, and I believe we will again.
Ira Sternberg: You mentioned young people lacking skills that people used to have. Can you give us an example?
Colonel McConkey: Sure. For example, this generation deals with bullying online. When I was in middle and high school, if you got bullied, it was face-to-face. Now, social media makes it constant—kids are harassed and bullied 24/7 on their media accounts. It’s unique to this generation and really affects their mental health. As an ER doctor, I see the impact: anxiety, depression, and rising suicide rates. It breaks my heart, but that’s why I’m doing something about it.
Ira Sternberg: Couldn’t one solution be to avoid social media entirely?
Colonel McConkey: That would seem like the easy answer, but for younger generations, social media is their whole life. It’s how they connect to the world and their friends. For them, cutting it off would feel like cutting off their life.
Ira Sternberg: And do you see this happening even in households with strong parenting?
Colonel McConkey: There’s definitely variation in parenting styles. I have five kids, and my kids don’t have social media accounts. They use iPads for educational purposes and games, but no social media. I stick to the guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics. Generally, more involved parents have better outcomes when it comes to handling social media.
Ira Sternberg: Do your kids feel deprived of social media?
Colonel McConkey: Oh, they tell me all the time, “Everyone else gets to do it.” My response is similar to what my parents told me, and I question parents who let their young kids watch things like Deadpool. My 11-year-old won’t be watching that, even if other kids are.
Ira Sternberg: You’re coming at this from a unique perspective, combining military experience and medicine, and that’s why I think the book’s perspective is so rich. Do you think some parents give up on parenting because of the pressure?
Colonel McConkey: I’m far from perfect. But yes, some parents struggle, especially with the influence of social media and societal pressures. I did run for Congress, so I’ve been in the public eye, and you have to balance all that.
Ira Sternberg: And didn’t you also win the lottery?
Colonel McConkey: I did! About a month before the primary in North Carolina’s 13th District. It was the educational lottery, and winning helped us get our message out in a crowded race. It wasn’t about the money; it was about spreading our vision.
Ira Sternberg: So the money didn’t matter to you?
Colonel McConkey: Not really. My time in Iraq changed me. In 2007, I was part of the surge, one of 10,000 troops. When I arrived, they’d shot down one of our helicopters and killed the flight surgeon, Colonel Al Good. That puts things into perspective quickly. In a combat zone, no one cares about your house, car, or paycheck. It’s about survival and doing something that matters. I had to accept that I might die and still go out there and do the job. That experience fundamentally changed me.
Ira Sternberg: You had to adapt and overcome. Was coming home more challenging?
Colonel McConkey: Coming home was much harder. In combat, it’s sink or swim. But coming back and reintegrating into civilian life after dealing with PTSD and the mental strain of combat is tough. I actually went to New Zealand with my wife to play soccer, work in the ER, and get my head on straight.
Ira Sternberg: Your book, Be the Weight Behind the Spear, speaks to the importance of the support system back home, not only for soldiers but also for the younger generation you’re addressing. Are America’s institutions doing enough to support them?
Colonel McConkey: My wife, my mom, and my aunt are all teachers, and they’ve shared that teachers today lack the power to hold kids accountable. Growing up, if I got in trouble at school, I’d face consequences at home too. Now, teachers have less authority, and that’s unfortunate. We’ve stripped away a lot of that support, and parents need to play a larger role in accountability.
Ira Sternberg: A lot of parents seem to defend their kids regardless of their actions, blaming teachers or administrators instead. Is that something you see?
Colonel McConkey: Absolutely. When I was young, if I got in trouble, it was my fault, period. That’s ultimate accountability, and I believe in that strongly. My wife is a teacher, and we’re aligned on this with our own kids. We don’t make excuses for them, and they know that.
Ira Sternberg: When you sat down to write Be the Weight Behind the Spear, what was the main message you wanted to convey?
Colonel McConkey: The main message is that you matter. Every American has a role in raising this generation. People often think national security is the government’s problem, but no—it starts with us. America’s best resource is its people: teachers, mentors, coaches, and families. They empower kids, build confidence, and give them tools to succeed. This generation lost a critical development window due to COVID, and we need to help them regain that.
Ira Sternberg: You mentioned a sense of entitlement among young people today, and that’s something past generations didn’t experience to the same extent. Is that accurate?
Colonel McConkey: Yes, and it’s a parenting issue. “Everybody gets a trophy” doesn’t prepare kids for real life, which has winners and losers. Accountability is crucial. I cover that in the book, along with integrity and resilience. These lessons need to be taught at home, in schools, and in communities.
Ira Sternberg: Is there a way to address the skills gap specifically for the COVID generation, who missed out on formative experiences?
Colonel McConkey: It has to be personal, one-on-one time with mentors—whether it’s sports, clubs, or the arts. Kids need to show up, be accountable, and build integrity. Those values can’t be taught over an iPad; it has to be real, face-to-face time with people who care.
Ira Sternberg: You also touch on how racial and socioeconomic factors play a role. Are we able to address those in today’s polarized climate?
Colonel McConkey: I came from a working-class background, and my wife is from a Cuban-American family. Accountability and integrity don’t cost anything, regardless of background. It’s about values that parents instill in their kids.
Ira Sternberg: But in today’s political climate, there are forces that want to keep people divided. Is there a way around that?
Colonel McConkey: I learned the hard way in my congressional race, where I was outspent by $12 million. Money matters in politics, but my message was about the issues we face in the military, our readiness, and international threats. Even if I didn’t win, I’m committed to getting this message out, now through the book.
Ira Sternberg: And as a final point, what’s the ultimate takeaway you’d like readers to have from your book?
Colonel McConkey: Despite the political and generational divisions, we have much more in common than we think. We all want what’s best for our kids and the future of America. Building leadership in this generation is something we all agree on. That’s the focus of the book, and there’s a lot of work to do.
Ira Sternberg: That’s a great way to leave it. My guest has been Colonel Joshua M. McConkey, MD, author of Be the Weight Behind the Spear, available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all the usual places. For everything about Josh, go to joshmcconkeyforamerica.com or waitbehindthespear.com, and you can follow him on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, X, and YouTube. Josh, thanks for being on the show.
Colonel McConkey: Thank you, Ira. I appreciate you having me on.
Ira Sternberg: You got it. And join us every Thursday for a new schmear on Ira’s Everything Bagel.