[PODCAST 251]: 5 Positive Psychology Hacks that Really Work!

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25d ago 14:21

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If you knew there were a handful of simple, specific things that were scientifically proven to help you feel happier and more connected to the people in your life, would you do them?

Today’s podcast is going to walk you through 5 incredible, actionable ideas shared by Martin Seligman in the book Flourish!

I have been enjoying this book so much, and I can’t wait to share.

We all want to feel good, but sometimes suggestions like, “think positive” feel a little hollow. And even suggestions like, “be grateful” often feel unclear when it comes to implementation.

I’ve personally been implementing several of the following suggestions and they absolutely work!

Positive psychology is about “other people.” A quote from the book that I enjoyed is as follows, “Other people are the best antidote to the downs of life and the single most reliable up…Scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well being of any exercise [they] have tested.”

The suggestions? I’m sharing each suggestion below and how you can implement them using your STEP Command Central:

(1) Find one wholly unexpected kind thing to do tomorrow and just do it. Notice what happens to your mood.

If you want to show kindness to others more often, you could put it on your Routines List as a weekly or biweekly routine to remind yourself to do it.

When we put things on our Routines List, we look over them each week during our Weekly Review. This can help us decide whether or not to add calendar reminders or make this routine one of our Current Projects for the month as we are implementing the practice.

I personally try to do these acts of kindness around my loved ones’ birthdays and special days.

You also might add this practice to your goal sheet and review your goals periodically to check in with yourself and make sure your actions and life are in line with your personal goals. You could decide on a project that you could complete that would move you closer to this particular goal.

As we strengthen the world, we feel stronger.

(2) Read a gratitude letter out loud.

In the book, the author suggests writing a gratitude letter to someone and then calling them to share what was written. (Either on video or reading it to them in person.) This sounded a little uncomfortable at first, and I haven’t personally done this yet.

But I did have this happen to me one time. This same suggestion was taught at our local university, and a student in our neighborhood messaged me and asked if she could come complete her assignment by reading me the gratitude letter she had written for me.

We did a video call and she read this beautiful, simple letter thanking me for some comments I made at church that really impacted her.

This was so touching to have someone read something they had written, and I want to do this as well for someone! To put this into practice, you might consider putting this task on your Next Actions List under the “home” or “computer” section. It wouldn’t take long, but once it’s done, you could use the 2-minute rule to text the person and coordinate a time to share it with them.

(3) “What went well?” and Why?

At the end of the night, write down 3 things that went well and why.

I love this focus because we can always find 3 things that went wrong, even if they’re tiny.

The question “Why?” helps us identify what we did that day that made a positive impact on ourselves and how we can replicate this.

Using our Command Centrals, we can set up a nightly routine to complete this practice.

(4) Celebrate with your people!

This was fascinating to me! I think the skills that we’ve been taught about communicating together, resolving disagreements, and addressing issues is great, but this practice is a step beyond what we typically do in the relationships in our lives.

When we learn how to celebrate really well with a spouse or loved ones, this is even more powerful than learning how to “fight better” (aka, resolve conflicts in a positive way).

As an example, imagine your spouse gets home and says, “I just got this new promotion!” or “I found this book at the store and I’m really excited about it!”

There are either positive/negative responses or passive/active responses. The worst is a negative, active response (to the book example): “Well, you shouldn’t have spend money on a book and you probably won’t read it anyways.”

The best is a positive, active response. Something like, “Oh my goodness! That’s amazing you’re so excited about it–tell me what inspired you to pick that one out!”

Asking some question that invites them to share more opens up new doors. And of course, there is a time and place for this kind of excitement. If you have been budgeting for something important and money was spent on something unnecessary, you could still respond politely in the moment and have a budget conversation later.

But I like the idea of genuinely celebrating and being excited. At the end of the day, our loved ones want to know that we care about them and that we will take an interest in what matters to them.

Command Central-wise, we might put this on a goals list of something we want to work toward. We can individually take steps to create a project or routine that makes the most sense in our lives.

(5) Improve our ratio of positive to negative statements.

This one was fascinating to me because they shared some statistics about these kinds of ratios.

In a business, companies flourish when they have a ratio of positive to negative statements that is higher than 2.9 to 1.

However, in a marriage, you need a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative statements. I think this likely applies to our children as well. I’ve been working on this 5 to 1 ratio in my own life whenever I think about something negative or critical that I want to address.

It was also interesting to read that this ratio shouldn’t be above 13 to 1 because then the person can’t trust you because you are being too nice–maybe not as genuine about things as you could be.

These suggestions aren’t necessarily very hard, but putting them into practice can be made so much easier when you utilize your Command Central. For example, you could put this practice on your daily Routines List. Maybe it would help to look for an app that helps you track habits and keep on top of your routines.

Even though our community is digital and we span all across the globe, I am so grateful we are here together!

[PODCAST 251]: 5 Positive Psychology Hacks that Really Work!

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published 25d ago

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