Doc's Polyamory Origin Story

Poly Pathways

In this intimate bonus episode of Poly Pathways Podcast, co-host Doc shares his deeply personal journey into polyamory, which began in the aftermath of his long-term marriage ending during the pandemic. Through therapy and self-reflection, Doc began to recognize a pattern of what his co-host Kat calls "confusing connections" throughout his life – moments when his capacity to love multiple people conflicted with the constraints of traditional monogamy. The dissolution of his marriage, coupled with meeting a partner who introduced him to polyamory and reconnecting with his friend Kat, created a synchronicity of revelation.

Doc's story illuminates the complex transition from a mononormative worldview to embracing polyamory later in life. He candidly discusses how the societal pressure to maintain exclusive relationships led to painful situations where he violated relationship agreements, causing hurt that he continues to work through. The discovery of polyamory provided him with a framework to understand his natural inclination toward multiple loving relationships, describing it as having "a cloak of monogamy" lifted from his shoulders.

While acknowledging that he isn't "perfect in polyamory," Doc emphasizes the joy and fulfillment he's found in building a community of mutual support and love. His journey resonates with many who come to polyamory after years of monogamous living, grappling with similar confusion and challenges. The episode serves as both a personal testimony and an invitation to others exploring non-traditional relationship structures.

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Episode FAQs

Q: What led Doc to discover polyamory?
A: The end of his marriage during the pandemic, meeting a new partner who introduced the concept, and reconnecting with Cat through social media all contributed to his discovery of polyamory.

Q: Was Doc unfaithful in previous relationships?
A: Doc acknowledges going "beyond agreements" in past relationships due to struggling with monogamous constraints, something he now works to make amends for and understand through therapy.

Q: How did Doc transition from monogamy to polyamory?
A: Through therapy, self-reflection, and learning new relationship frameworks that helped him understand his capacity to love multiple people authentically.

Q: What are "confusing connections"?
A: A term coined by Kat referring to relationships or attractions that didn't fit within traditional monogamous frameworks, causing internal conflict and confusion.

Q: Does Doc consider himself an expert in polyamory?
A: No, he explicitly states he's "by no means perfect in polyamory" and continues to learn while dealing with challenges like jealousy and insecurity.

Q: What's the main message of this origin story?
A: That many people come to polyamory later in life after struggling with monogamous expectations, and finding polyamory can provide a framework for understanding one's natural capacity for multiple loving relationships.