"My culture has no real word for mental health". The Unlikely Mummy: Kavita Trevena

BLUE MUMDAYS

Kavita Trevena, founder of The Unlikely Mummy, shares her profoundly personal motherhood journey, including gestational diabetes, postnatal depression and being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after two stressful births. Kavita also talks about a lack of openness around mental health issues in her culture, and a general lack of support for South Asian mums within maternal care services.

Kavita discusses her community-driven initiatives such as The Unlikely Mummy blog, counselling services, exercise therapies, and wellness activities designed to support mothers.

Far from being a heavy listen, Kavita was a joy to speak to and our positive conversation underlines a message of hope, resilience, and the importance of creating supportive networks for mothers.

*Trigger Warning* Postnatal Depression, Birth Trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

In This Episode:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[02:01] Introducing Kavita Trevena: founder of 'The Unlikely Mummy'.

[04:30] From being told she couldn't have children to a honeymoon baby - Kavita's journey through pregnancy.

[06:34] Discovery and challenges of Gestational Diabetes.

[13:16] The birth experience - an emergency caesarean.

[20:44] Postpartum struggles and support.

[23:16] Creating 'The Unlikely Mummy' community.

[28:34] Being diagnosed with PND (Postnatal Depression).

[31:04] The need for more support for mums. Growing the Unlikely Mummy to provide community support and specialist services.

[34:22] Running for the cause: The Big Half Marathon, raising funds for a Forest School, counselling and lactation consultant sessions.

[36:37] Starting a walking club for mums.

[40:14] Kavita's second pregnancy: psoriasis and setting up support in advance.

[43:10] Diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) for her first birth.

[47:19] Cultural barriers and lack of support for South Asian mums.

[55:23] The Unlikely Mummy: future plans and support.

[01:01:45] Final thoughts and encouragement.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Unlikely Mummy's Insta page.
2. Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal condition that affects women of reproductive age and is a leading cause of infertility. NHS information on Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It’s believed 1 in 10 women may suffer from PCOS.
3. UK Government information on Gestational Diabetes, a type of diabetes that occurs only during pregnancy. Gestational diabetes can cause health problems in both mother and baby. Support is available from Gestational Diabetes UK.
4. Dr. Hannah Short is a doctor who specialises in menopause and premenstrual disorders. Dr. Hannah Short's website. Listen to Hannah's episode: Blue MumDays S2 Ep31: 'The one About Hormones: POI, PMDD, Endometriosis + PME.
5. Postnatal depression is depression that happens after you've had a baby. It can range from mild to severe and is more common than you think. Up to 1 in 7 mums are affected and up to 1 in 10 dads. NHS information on Postnatal Depression. More information can be found here, Royal College of Psychiatrists page on PND.
6. CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) is the name for the NHS services that assess and treat young people with emotional, behavioural or mental health difficulties. Find CAMHS support near you (UK only).
7. Find out more about the Big Half Marathon, a 13.1 mile course weaves through London from Tower Bridge to the iconic Cutty Sark in Greenwich. Donate to Kavita's Go Fund Me here.
8. NHS information on psoriasis, an immune-mediated inflammatory skin condition that can be both physically and psychologically distressing. Support and information from the Psoriasis Association, a UK charity.
9. Mind's guide on postnatal PTSD. Blue MumDays S1 Ep17: When Birth Leads to Trauma – listen to my conversation with Make Birth Better’s Dr. Rebecca Moore to learn more about birth trauma.
10. In the UK, postnatal depression is more common in British South Asian women than white women. Cultural stigma can also contribute to Asian mums not seeking help. The ROSHNI-2 Study is evaluating the clinical and cost-effectiveness of a CBT(Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) based positive health programme group intervention in British South Asian women with postnatal depression.
11. Mindfulness is a technique that involves being fully aware of the present moment without judgment. Kavita's Mindfulness session for Maternal Mental Health Week.
12. Eve Canavan BEM is an award-winning lived experience survivor of postpartum psychosis. She works tirelessly to support mums and families and is the co-founder and National Co-Ordinator of Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. Blue MumDays S1 Ep 19: 'Frightened of My Baby' - Eve Canavan.
13. For donating to The Unlikely Mummy: Account name: THE UNLIKELY MUMMY C / Sort Code: 51-70-14 / Account Number: 78918855.

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Next Episode:

Next time I talk to the incredible 'Frontline Midwife' Anna Kent. Anna has delivered babies in war zones, caring for the most vulnerable women in the most vulnerable places in the world, including responsibility for the female health of 30,000 Rohingya refugees in Bangladesh. Anna talks movingly about her own experience of motherhood, including the loss of her first baby Fatima. One of my very favourite conversations, I can't wait for you to hear it!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

You are not alone and will not feel this way forever.

Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

1. Acacia Family Support Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads. 0121 301 5990, [e-mail].

2. Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) Moderated Forum, click here to find out more. Email: [e-mail] / Tel: [phone]

3. AIMS for better birthing. [e-mail]. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: [phone] (leave message)

4. Andys Man Club A non-judgmental talking group for men. [e-mail]

5. Association of Postnatal Illness Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: [e-mail] (Live chat online facility)

6. Best Beginnings. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents

7. Birth Trauma Association Email: [e-mail]

8. CALM. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

9. Cedar House Support Group for mums with postnatal depression. Email: [e-mail] (Liz Wise) / Mobile: [phone].

10. Contact - for families with disabled children. Helpline: 0808 808 3555.

11. Dad Matters. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. [e-mail] / 0161 344 0669

12. DadsNet offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

13. Dope Black Dads - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. [e-mail]

14. Family Lives provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222.

15. Family Rights Group. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366.

16. Fathers Mental Health UK is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads.

17. Fatherhood Solutions. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran.

18. FiveXMore. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: [e-mail]

19. Gingerbread offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925.

20. The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.

21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain – for support with breastfeeding.

22. LGBT Mummies support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: [e-mail]

23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) Email: [e-mail]

24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care.

25. Maternal OCD Peer support available, email [e-mail] to arrange.

26. Mayah's Legacy support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: [e-mail] / 0300 102 1596.

27. The Motherhood Group are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. [e-mail]

28. Motivational Mums Club offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. [e-mail]

29. Music Football Fatherhood offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. [e-mail]

30. Muslim Women’s Network Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: [e-mail] Text: 07415 206 936.

31. National Autistic Society for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.

32. Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helplineIf you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

34. PANDAS Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 [e-mail]

35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. [e-mail]

36. Petals Baby Loss Charity offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: [phone] [e-mail]

37.