When Will I Get My Body Back? Motherhood As Awakening (Amanda Montei)

Startup Parent

#221 — Who does your body belong to?

In this episode of the Startup Parent podcast, host Sarah K. Peck is joined by author and educator Amanda Montei to talk about Amanda’s latest book, Touched Out: Motherhood, Misogyny, Consent, and Control. Together, they delve deep into a conversation about societal norms, feminism, and the complicated relationships women have with our bodies.

Amanda doesn’t shy away from talking about topics others prefer to avoid, like female sexuality, pleasure, and the culture of consent. This conversation is crucial for those navigating motherhood, societal expectations, and body autonomy — and raising the next generation to do better.

Sarah and Amanda discuss:

• The contradictory rules that govern women's bodies: Amanda digs into the complex demands women face, from being sexual beings while limiting their pleasure to conforming to beauty standards.
• Navigating consent: Society expects women to always know what they want and bear the responsibility of saying no. However, saying no isn’t always straightforward.
• The unspoken rule about female sexuality: Women are often expected to prioritize men's pleasure and reproduction, leaving little room for their own satisfaction.
• Amanda's journey: Raised in a world catering to the male gaze, Amanda grappled with the tension between liberation and acquiescence to misogyny.
• Parenting in the #MeToo era: #MeToo has transformed parenting, emphasizing the importance of discussing consent, pleasure, and autonomy.
• Unveiling misogyny: Early experiences often shape women's understanding of their bodies and intimacy, emphasizing male enjoyment over their own pleasure.
• Opening your eyes: Unlearning misogyny is gradual, starting with recognizing systemic issues shaping perceptions of women's bodies and experiences.
• Connecting the dots: Amanda highlights the links between motherhood, misogyny, consent, and control, all revolving around the governance of women's bodies and experiences.

It's vital to deconstruct these beliefs if we want to avoid perpetuating harmful norms and indoctrinating the next generation into a culture of power imbalances and violation; this episode is a must-listen for anyone who has been gendered and socialized as a woman.

Join Sarah and Amanda as they explore the transformative potential of redefining societal narratives.

SHOW NOTES

Full show notes at startupparent.com/221

SHOUT OUT TO OUR EPISODE SPONSOR:

Wise Women’s Council?

One of the things we talk about with Amanda in this episode is how saying “no” or speaking up is more complicated than “just say something.” Our conditioning often kicks into gear before we’re even aware of it, and it’s after the fact that we unpack the guilt and regret and would’ve could’ve should’ves of the situation.

The WWC has given me a sacred space to be vulnerable, unpack situations that I’m struggling with, and find support from a whole crew of incredible humans navigating the same messy intersections of motherhood, entrepreneurship, partnership, friendship — and just trying to be a better human.

It’s rare to find people like the ones I’ve met in the WWC, and to connect in a space like the one SKP has created over the last five (!) years is so special.

Applications for the next round are officially open until September 14, so head to startupparent.com/wwc to submit yours. I hope to see you at Orientation!