446: The September Spat

Zero Issues

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In the ongoing spirit of March Madness, and August Audness, it’s time to make eight comic characters battle in a tournament we’re calling… The September Spat! Eight contestants enter, but only one can win! And this time, it’s “back to school” themed, meaning the contestants are all students or teachers!

The New Mutants’ omnilingual self-soul-friend Doug “Cypher” Ramsey vs. Deathlocket, the teen girl Deathlok! The Legion mechanic “Bouncing Boy” vs. former Marine and current Riverdale High Principal Waldo Weatherbee! The extremely flammable wax mutant Glob Herman vs. Daniel “Oz” Osbourne, who is both a werewolf AND Seth Green! Generation X’s skin-shedding Paige “Husk” Guthrie vs. the Baltimore school board’s favourite teacher, Guy “Green Lantern” “Warrior” Gardner! The winners proceed along the bracket until only one is crowned the champion!

Who will conquer all foes and win this tournament of champions? Who will end up in detention with Reggie Mantle? Does Doug Ramsey have what could be called “Ohio rizz”? What happens when you put Seth Green inside a wax mutant like a Jello mould? Can Guy Gardner possibly survive an onslaught of Kentucky corn? All this and many other very important questions, answered once and for all — in the ring!

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