Join Latter Day Twaint & Jack Coffee as they discuss Mormonism, Utah, republicans, single-parenting, sex, depression, and other stuff. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll want to tell all your non-Mormon friends.
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9.1.1 (AUDIO ONLY) I have no master or mistress
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Its like the video I just posted, but only audio. Where is the video you say? I don't know! Maybe its on Spotify? Or your regular app? But it isn't on my podcast app yet so I don't know.
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9.1 I have no master or mistress
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We're back!! And better than ever! And now with video (Though if you think we are ugly we will also post an audio only version.) We miss you and love you.
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8. 7. The long awaited advice episode
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1:21:21
You asked. We answered. Here is our (legally unbinding these options do not reflect the opinions of Spotify or her affiliates) advice!!
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Signs and Tokens: Sis Twain’s Courtship with Gary McConkie
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So we’re going to start posting short episodes where we interview each other about our lives called “Signs and Tokens.” This one is a freebie so if you want to hear more of these head over to Patreon.com/hotdranks
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8.6. Top 5 Ways the Universe Decided to Keep Us Humble
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Listen. We know we are a light on a hilltop. So the Universe in her own special way has to keep us down a bit.
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8.5. Top Five Met Gala Looks and Who Would Wear Them if the Theme was “Mormon: An American Cult”
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What if Anna Wintour’s vision of the Met Gala was Orson Pratt and Fanny Algiers and Gordon B.
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8.4. The Top Five Gods Worshiped in the Pantheon of our new religions
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I’m sorry for this.
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8.3. Top 5 Things We Hope Sister Dennees speaks on next.
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1:09:05
We’ve truly been so lucky to hear what sister Dennis thinks about women’s power in the church and we can’t wait to hear what she has next. Here are our top five hopes.
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8.2. Top 5 People We Hope Not to See in Our Ward in Hell
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So Mormonism is true, allegedly. /9 that means when sinner go to hell (like us) they’ll have a ward. And these are the people we hope are not there.
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8.1. We’re solving transphobia
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Listen. We’re not experts. But we’re concerned cis people. So here is our attempt to support our trans community
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7.3. Fudge College, Mormons
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The Mormons are up to some business. We’re not OK.
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Top 5 Things We Woulda Done if We Hadn’t Lost That Damn Hour
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1:16:09
We’re in the daylight savings hangover over here. We had so many plans and then we lost that hour
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It’s season seven and we’re all new! We’ve got the intro music at a different spot! Remember last week when we told you your husband was gay? Well if that made you anxious we’re here this week with the top five bits of advice.
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6.21. Top Five Ways to Know Your in a Mixed Orientation Marriage (MOM)
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ie top five signs you’re a straight lady married to a gay man.
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Top 5 People Upon Whom We Imprinted Sexually as a Youth (Youth meaning anytime before 1999)
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1:07:51
I mean, that’s basically it. It’s been 42 days since our last episode.
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6.19. Top 5 Ins and Outs of 2024
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It’s the new year. And here’s the top 5 things we think are in and out (we sort of understood the assignment differently.)
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6.18. Top Five Carols with updated meanings
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1:10:05
Hey, listen it’s the top five ways we would change the names of Christmas songs sometimes by one word or sometimes by more but really make them feel more relevant. The rules weren’t really super clear.
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6.17. Top 5 People You’d Find at Out Post Apocalyptic Compound
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The world ended. Trump is president. Biden is president. It’s World War III. We don’t know. But here are the top five people you would find at our post apocalyptic compound.
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6.16. Top 5 Gay/ Straight Icons
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I just want to say from the get that I’m sorry about this episode.
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If you thought you’d never hear from us again you owe us $15.
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I bet you thought you’d never see another episode! Nope! We’re here! And we’re telling your our beige flags. The things about us that are a bit weird but not totally red flags.
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6.13. Well I’ll tell you what, it’s a top five something!!
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It’s something about a grilled cheese. Or a hug. I don’t know.
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6. 12. The top 5 bagels and horrors
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1:19:49
We all know life is great because there are bagels. But there are also horrors. These are our top 5.
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6.11. Top 5 Things That Are Our Business
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Listen. This is my business.
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6.10. Top Five Things That Are NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
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Listen. We can talk about them if you want. But this stuff is none of my business.
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6.9. Top 5 Things We Want You To Do AS SOON as you leave the church.
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We have some suggestions
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We couldn’t decide on a top 5 because Cjane suggested two great topics so there are two.
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Listen, there’s no theme. There’s no top five. This is just bitches be talking. Twaint: “OnInstagram I’m gonna say no top-five just love.”
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6.6. Top Five Things We Can Say That Will Make the Other One Uncomfortable
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Get ready to squirm and learn the definition of “tumescent.”
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6.5. Top 5 People Who Did the Thing
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Viola Davis? Your woman king? Here are 5 other people who did the thing.
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Top 5 People Who Make Us Horny But Who Are Not Conventionally Attractive (like Pedro Pascal.)
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You know how Pedro Pascal is ugly but also he can any day any time? Here are 10 more people who fit that mold.
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6.3. Top Five PO Boxes in Boston, MA
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We love a good self-addressed stamped envelope sent to Boston Massachusetts. And these are our top five PO boxes to send it to.
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6.2. Top 5 Side Hustles Were Gonna Pursue in 2023
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Bottom line, we’re poor. So we’re gonna be hustling to pay the bills.
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6.1. SPOILERS Top 5 things about M3GAN that made us more queer.
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Listen. If you haven’t seen M3GAN, we spoil it in this episode, but we talk about the moments that made us more queer so don’t listen to this until you’ve seen M3GAN or if you don’t care about spoilers.
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5.20. Top Five Predictions for 2023
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It’s a new year. And new predictions for what we want? Are Scared of? Hope for? Also we just decided this is the SEASON FINALE even thought we don’t mention that during the episode.
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5.19 Top 5 Gifts We Want To Receive
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It’s here. The episode to listen to while your driving to your Mormon Dad’s house where your racist Uncle is going to say something about pronouns and the Woke Mob.
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5.18. Top Five Weirdest Things About Being 13
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1:25:10
As Brother Coffee’s explores his childhood with his therapist, we venture back and remember what was weird about being 13.
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5.17. We’re drunk and we’re thankful
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It’s the top five things were grateful for a while we’re drinking alcohol. So it’s not like our kids or our Lord and Savior Jesus. It’s things that we feel happy about while we’re drinking wine another alcohol.
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5.16 Top 5 Things the Mormons Got Wrong
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Listen, there are 1 million of these. But we wanted to highlight the top five that seems so insane to us now.
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5.15. Top Five Shows We Want Rebooted With Overt Queer Overtones
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Have you seen the new Interview with a Vampire? The reboot of A League of Their Own? More shows from our childhood with queer folks!!
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5.14. Top Five Tattoos Mormons Gonna Get
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Did you hear that Mormons can get tattoos now? Allegedly? Well, here are the top five tattoos Twaint and Coffee think they’re gonna get.
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5.13 Top Five Goals for out Spooky/ Slutty Season
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On todays episodes of this podcast that we record each day on a daily schedule, we set some goals. Goals for sluts.
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5.12 Top Five Things We’d Yell at BYU Students at a Football Game
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Remember, when a bunch of people from Oregon yelled at a bunch of people from BYU and the governor of Utah acted like they had declared war? Well, here are some things we would like to yell at Mormons.
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5.11. Top 5 Beautiful Truths that you didn’t know until this ‘sode.
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1:09:13
Remember when we told you the top five truths that were hard to hear? Well, these are the top five beautiful truths you didn’t even know until this ‘sode
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5.10 Top Five Reasons You Didn’t Get an Episode Last Week (or Next Week.)
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You know how you didn’t get an episode last week or next week? Well this is why
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5.14 Our Top Five Favorite Hot Dranks Moments
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We’re sharing some of our favorite Hot Drinks memories and then we take a HARD LEFT TURN into some dark therapy for Bro. Coffee.
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We downloaded Hinge. Why? Because democracy is dead.
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5.12. Top 5 Things That Are Gay and Homophobic at the Same Time
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Hi Gay! It’s Pride Month at the Butter Barn!
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5.11. Top 5 Horrible Things Men Have Said to Beautiful Desirable and Perfect Young Ladies
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53:37
Lil Twaint is a dater. And she’s here to tell us why men ain’t shit.
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5.10. Top 5 Reasons Progmos are Useless. USELESS you hear!!
1:08:15
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Progmos: you’re useless. We expect better. Here’s the 5 reasons why.
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