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The Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast is hosted by Sheryl Murphy. The show offers grounded and honest conversations about high-conflict divorce, post-separation abuse and co-parenting through it all to raise happy, healthy kids. Episodes will offer tools and mindset shifts so that moms can survive their high-conflict divorce and develop a safe, healthy and sustainable co-parenting strategy. The show also sheds a modern light on domestic abuse, how it continues to manifest after divorce and w ...
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True or False: Once she leaves the relationship, the abuse will stop. If you've been following me for a while, you probably know the answer to this one. It's, of course, 100% false. But unfortunately, a lot of people think this way when it comes to abusive relationships (I was one of those people too). Yes, leaving an abusive relationship is an imp…
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You've just started dating someone and you're smitten. Long conversations, extravagant dates, over-the-top gestures, expensive gifts, constant 'checking in', talks of moving in together after only a few weeks... Could be a true connection with a potential life partner. Or, it could be a predator using love bombing tactics as a trap. So how do you k…
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Communication. This topic might be the #1 thing I'm asked about by clients as a high-conflict divorce coach. And as I dig deeper on the things that clients find the most challenging when it comes to communication, it all seems to break down into two main goals: (1) decreasing their reactivity to toxic communication from their co-parent and (2) lear…
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I had someone ask me a while back, ‘Sheryl, if you knew what you know now, would you still have gone through your divorce?’ I’ve been asked many versions of this question before, but I liked this one because it got me thinking about what I’ve learned. And when I learn stuff, I love sharing it with you. When I reflected on the question, this is what…
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We're at #7 this week on our Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast Listener's Choice Countdown! Do you ever find yourself spinning your wheels not being able to figure out where to start on your journey to being a healthy mom after divorce? Maybe looking after your health is just not happening. Or your co-parent is filling your kids' heads with lies ab…
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Welcome back to the Healthy Mom After Divorce Listener's Choice Countdown! We are #8 this week. On this episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I share 3 hard truths about co-parenting, tell you why I'm so selective of the tv shows and movies I watch and talk about just how much is in our control to shape our kids' lives even if they're o…
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We're at #9 this week on the Healthy Mom After Divorce Listener's Choice Countdown for season 1! The smear campaign… Anyone who is going through or has been through a high-conflict divorce knows exactly what this is. A high-conflict ex is going around spreading lies about you to anyone who will listen in order to (unfairly) paint you as the villain…
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Protecting vs. preparing. What's your instinct when it comes to your kids? If you're like me, your instinct is to try and protect your kids from all of life's hardships, especially when it comes to their parent's divorce. They're grappling with two, homes, conflict between their parents, shuttling back and forth, missing those they love, confusion,…
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Welcome back to the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast Listener's Choice Countdown for season 1 where I'm counting down the top 12 episodes from the first season of the podcast. Last week, we started with #12 on our list, an episode from July 19, 2022 called ‘My Hardest Post-Divorce Lesson’. This week, we move on to #11 on our list. This episode, fi…
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Welcome to the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast Listener's Choice Countdown for season 1 where I'm counting down the top 12 episodes from the first season of the podcast. First up this week at #12 is episode 5 from July 19, 2022 simply called 'My Hardest Post-Divorce Lesson'. We are starting with a really good one because this is one of the hardes…
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Find the full transcript at healthymomafterdivorce.com/40. It's tax time! Well, in Canada at least... Question... do you know the answers to these questions? Is the support you're receiving taxable? Are you able to claim your legal expenses as a tax deduction? What are your shares in the family business worth and what's the best way to sell them? W…
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Have you spent time reflecting on what happened during your relationship? I'm don't mean reliving all the painful moments. I mean spending time thinking about the dynamics of an abusive relationship, how an abuser operates and what made you susceptible to it in the first place. The more you understand what happened during your relationship (when yo…
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Lots of gifts, fancy dates, all-day texting, long conversations about being about 'soul mates', talking about moving in together on date 3, the relationship going at Mach-speed... It can feel amazing to connect so quickly with someone you're dating. And although these things may be signs you two of you are head-over-heels for one another and are me…
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“But how can he do this to the kids? It just doesn’t make sense?” Sound familiar? It’s ok, we’ve all been there. On this 37th episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I explain the cognitive bias called the Just-World Fallacy, why we have it and what we can do to free ourselves from its grips and move forward with our lives, even when the …
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On this 36th episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I offer my thoughts on how to tell if someone is a safe person for you to share information about your abusive relationship and high-conflict divorce with, discuss 5 of the most common responses survivors hear when they do open up and provide some new perspectives to survivors and poten…
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Transition days. They're challenging for kids and parents alike and often, transition days bring about terrible anxiety and dread. So on this 35th episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I talk about 3 areas that you can focus on to make transition days a little bit easier on you and your kids and I share a few tools that are tangible, ma…
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On this 34th episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, which is also part 3 of 3 in this series, I share 3 hard truths about acceptance and healing, why being the villain in your story might actually be a compliment and a tool I use for managing self-criticism. Find the transcript at healthymomafterdivorce.com/34. Download my free guide Boo…
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On this episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I share 3 hard truths about co-parenting, tell you why I'm so selective of the tv shows and movies I watch and talk about just how much is in our control to shape our kids' lives even if they're only with us half the time. Find the full transcript for this episode at healthymomafterdivorce.c…
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Have you radically accepted the divorce reality you live in with your high-conflict co-parent? It’s not an easy thing to do but it is crucial to your ability to survive this period of your life. On this 32nd episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, which is also part 1 of 3 in this series, I share 3 hard truths about the post-separation ab…
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The smear campaign… Anyone who is going through or has been through a high-conflict divorce knows exactly what this is. A high-conflict ex is going around spreading lies about you to anyone who will listen in order to (unfairly) paint you as the villain. And maybe it isn’t just them. Maybe they even have their family or new partner doing it too. Wh…
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We've all grown up with certain ideas about abuse and what we think it looks like. If I ask you to picture what an abuser looks like, what comes to mind? How do they behave? What do they do for work? And although some abusers may fit the description you thought of, most will not. So how do we know what is abuse and what isn't? In this 30th episode …
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Communicating with your high-conflict co-parent is not easy. And never will be. When you think of ways to try and improve it, do they all sound like a list of things your ex could do? You’re likely not wrong – but you’re spinning your wheels. On this 29th episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I talk about how to get your high-conflict c…
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When you and your kids are subjected to post-separation abuse by a high conflict co-parent, it's so easy to internalize their behaviour. When your kids come home with stories of their father's rage, anger, erratic behaviour and abuse, its easy for them to think it's because of something they did. "I talked back, Mom. That's why dad threw out my fav…
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Post-separation abuse affects many parts of mom’s life but one that is often overlooked is the impact on her job. She could be getting constant harassing phone calls or text messages while at work. Maybe she has to leave early or show up late to accommodate unpredictable behaviour by her co-parent. She may have to take time off to prepare legal mat…
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One of the most common misconceptions is that once a victim leaves an abusive relationship, the abuse stops. Unfortunately, that could not be further from the truth. In fact, immediately after separation, the abuse often gets worse. Much worse. But even after that initial uptick, the abuse often continues for years especially if the victim has to c…
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It's the holiday season! I don't know about you but I love this time of year. There's the social events, the concerts and shows, the family time, the twinkly lights, the giving of gifts... It's one of my favourite seasons. But if you're co-parenting with a high-conflict person, this time of year can also bring additional challenges. There may even …
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High-conflict divorce + high-conflict co-parenting = a very tricky situation. Whether you’re about to embark on your divorce journey, are right in the thick of it or have settled in to post-divorce co-parenting life, this episode has got something for you. Having a relationship with a person like this presents a whole new set of challenges that onl…
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Remember the good ol’ days? You know… the times in your marriage that were positive and brought you joy and happy memories. The times when life was good. And the same times that make you doubt your decision to ever get divorced in the first place. But wait… what about the other memories? The ones that have the pain, the sadness, the loneliness, the…
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You and your kids are sitting there watching a movie and the main character is in the middle of a conflict. They are working their way out of it in the worst of ways. Totally face-palm worthy. As painful as that is to watch, from your comfy position on the couch you know what the better way to deal with the issue would have been. And this, healthy …
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If you’re like me, when you became a mom, it became a defining moment for you. Everything changed and you have never been the same. You are proud of being a mom and would do anything for your kids. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you are a mom. Then stuff hit the fan and you got divorced. You’ve hit the reset button and split everything up, includin…
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Find the full transcript here. Karma. We all know what this is and it often comes to mind when someone has wronged us. To balance the scales of justice, we hope that the universe delivers to them what we think they have coming. And we think that we'll feel better once it does. But I challenge you to think again. On this episode of the Healthy Mom A…
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Find the full transcript at healthymomafterdivorce.com/19. You’re getting a divorce. Crap. You never thought you’d be here. You never expected this. This new reality is filled with unknowns, fear, shame and conflict. Your kids are in pain and confused. Friends are picking sides. Family doesn’t know what to do to help. The bills are piling up. Schoo…
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Find the full transcript at healthymomafterdivorce.com/18. I love to read. For many years, fiction was always my first choice. But, after my divorce, everything changed. My life had been flipped on its head and I felt so out of control. And as the days and weeks and months dragged on and the conflict worsened, I found myself increasingly lost and s…
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Find the full transcript at www.healthymomafterdivorce.com/17. Life always feels to short to fit it all in, doesn't it? There's so many things we want to do and experience before we leave this planet. And once we have kids, a whole new world of exciting things to experience opens up for us . But we know they won't be kids forever so we try to do as…
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Find the full transcript for this episode at healthymomafterdivorce.com/16. Do you ever find yourself spinning your wheels not being able to figure out where to start on your journey to being a healthy mom after divorce? Maybe looking after your health is just not happening. Or your co-parent is filling your kids' heads with lies about you. Or perh…
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Find the full transcript for the episode at www.healthymomafterdivorce.com/15. Click here to watch the TikTok video I reference in the episode. We are all very familiar with the feeling of guilt. And when it comes to our kids and being a mom, that feeling can be exponentially worse. As a divorced mom, you constantly strive to put your kids first an…
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Find the full transcript for the episode at www.healthymomafterdivorce.com/14. Download my free guide 4 Ways to Get Healthy, Create Financial Stability and Develop Emotional Fortitude While Becoming a Master Co-Parent. Schedule your complimentary 45-minute Discovery Call with me here. "It's not fair!" When something happens to you that you don't li…
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Find the full transcript for this episode at www.healthymomafterdivorce.com/13. Let's talk fantasies. The co-parenting kind. I am guessing we are all in the same boat: we'd all love to be in a friendly, amicable co-parenting situation with our ex-partner. For some, this may be reality. But for most, it simply isn't possible. But how long do you han…
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Find the full transcript for this episode at www.healthymomafterdivorce.com/12. Starting the day with a good breakfast, packing a healthy lunch, preparing well-balanced meals, always have water available. We know how it goes. And when it comes to our kids, us divorced moms have it dialed in. But what about when it comes to us? On this 12th episode …
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Exercise. We all know we should make it a regular part of our daily lives. But finding the motivation to push ourselves past the I-don’t-wannas is hard. If you’re like me, the physical benefits are not always enough to get me going. So when the fitness industry tries to market health and fitness to me this way, I zone out. That got me thinking … wh…
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Celebrating special occasions with family and friends is fun and super important to most of us. But, if you are divorced and have a shared parenting schedule, you might not always be able to do this. Your kids are with their other parent part of the time and if that time happens to fall over your kids’ birthday, Christmas, Hallowe’en or any other s…
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As moms, we are wired to protect our kids. It's our #1 instinct, we are good at it and most of all, we like doing it. And as divorced moms, it feels like there's even more to protect them from since divorce can bring a bunch of extra stress and challenges. Two homes, conflict between their parents, shuttling back and forth, missing those they love,…
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That conflict between you and your ex? It’s their fault, right? And that snacking habit you can’t break? It’s how you were raised. And all that money you haven’t saved? You just don’t get paid enough. Ah yes, and all those bad dates you’ve been on? Must be the city you live in. Hmmm. I challenge you to think again. In this 8th episode of the Health…
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No one has kids to see them half of the time. But this is a reality for a lot of us divorced moms. And when we see other families where this is not the case, where the parents and children are all one big ‘happy’ family, we get hit with the undeniable pangs of envy. In this 7th episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I talk about this ine…
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Triggering and toxic communication from your ex. Not every divorced mom has to deal with this but sadly, a lot of us do. And it can range from subtle digs to outright cruelty. I know I have dealt with the full spectrum and maybe you have too. On this 6th episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I share the 5 steps I take to insulate myself…
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Hard lessons. Most of us have experienced them and I think we can all agree, they are not comfortable. In fact, they outright suck. If you're like me, you fight them, rail against them and often refuse to accept them. Trust me, I get it. But perhaps that resistance is telling you something. Maybe that lesson isn’t supposed to be ignored. Hard lesso…
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Find the full transcript for this episode at healthymomafterdivorce.com/4. The post-divorce haters. Most of us divorced moms have them: the ex, their new partner, the ex-folks-in-law, ex-friends … They are all around. And they love to come out of the woodwork even more when we put ourselves out there after our divorce. They criticize, they judge an…
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Find the full transcript for this episode at www.healthymomafterdivorce.com/3. Ok so maybe you already know this about me … or maybe you don’t. I am a health nut. And the reason I am so passionate about health is because it feels like an untapped resource for most of us. Let me explain. When you ask most people about what it means to be a good mom,…
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