As a stylist who explores what makes women feel beautiful, entrepreneur and Instagram favorite @HilaryRushford brings her witty, winsome, and wise voice to honest conversations on how to have an extraordinary life (without being exhausted): More joy and less overwhelm in your style, business, and life. You’re welcome (wink), in advance.
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Ep 190: The Final Episode
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This was meant to be a just 3 min announcement, but based on your reaction to the news Dean Street Society is closing, I felt we needed another moment to just hang and process. Pay The Value Closing Sale: DeanStreetSociety.com/closing Also read information shared via email, by clicking “Hear More” at the bottom, and you can catch up on all emails s…
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Ep 189: 5 Q’s to ask now to feel expectant for 2024
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You asked for help choosing joy now and in the new year, after a hard year or season. Can you relate to any of these? You’re wishing time would go faster to get to something good or past something heavy? Feeling a case of the winter blues? Walking through disappointment? Or feeling energized about making 2024 your best year yet? Today’s 5 Q’s with …
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Ep 188: Please help with our baby name?!
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The closer we get to a due date, the more I’m overthinking the name we have picked. Here’s my advice on naming, plus what I’m looking for in case you have ideas? Share this one with anyone working on their baby names. Or to spark some conversation this holiday if you’re done with naming in your family. Links in this episode: Instagram post to give …
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Ep 187: We flew with my mom to meet our surrogates’ family in a whirlwind baby tour day!
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Sadly, much of a surrogacy journey is bracing for disappointment. However the positive side of that, is when things are easy you feel so incredibly lucky. This week Jeremy, myself, and my mom all flew out to meet our surrogate’s family, our doctor, do a hospital tour, and have our 20-week anatomy scan. All in a whirlwind 6 hours! It was hilarious (…
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Ep 186: How get help to save you when thing are really, really hard
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A breakdown of my last 24 hours and the choices I made when there was too much on my plate. Things are a lot right now. Today I’m sharing exactly what I’m preaching, practicing, and sending in voice memos to my girlfriends. We’re talking about: How to avoid triggering people and *being* “that person” when someone’s struggling How to get out of unso…
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Ep 185: What if my dream doesn’t happen? 2 approaches that lead to burnout
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I’m watching friends navigate life from a place of burnout vs healing, and the difference is astounding. Comparison (their grass is greener) keeps us chasing goals harder than we should. Yet, the opposite of envy is even more destructive to our burnout, and far less talked about. Today we’re healing the crippling mindset that keeps us chasing a dre…
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Ep 184: Have I chosen the wrong dream + signs of burnout
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What if some of the biggest choices in your life actually came from outside your head, not inside your heart? That’s the hard truth I’ve been grappling with. I’ve been coming up for air a bit after a season of grief (with my book story) that (I see now) was followed by a season of hustle and determination to put life back together again. I’m rememb…
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Ep 183: When things are hard, how to winter well + move towards spring
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So many are struggling lately, both personal friends and members of our community. I had a different episode planned for today when a friend called with hard, hard news and I wanted to share part of what we discussed. Listen in to hear: What to text a friend when you want to help, or need it yourself Two specific steps to make metaphorical winter s…
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Ep 182: How much should my friend risk giving up to fall in love?
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What advice would you give? Would you want? The last two weeks while in Italy, I was swept away in the best romantic story. A dear friend unexpectedly met someone while traveling internationally far from home and texted, “I might have met my husband.” The wrinkle is that a life with him means a major fork in the road, leaving possibly forever thing…
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Ep 181: Second trimester update + magical finds in Tuscany (roadtrip chat with Jeremy)
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Join us on the road from Tuscany to the Italian Riviera via Rome on: My 3 biggest takeaways from the 1st trimester of our pregnancy and surrogacy journey Who we’ve shared the gender of the baby with and why/why not The 2 extra special places we found on our first time in Tuscany (will share links on IG after our trip!) The Italian political perspec…
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Ep 180: My new simple Q to ask when cranky, insecure, or overwhelmed
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Ciao from Rome! When we’re in a bad mood, we know so much we could do to make ourselves feel better. Yet how often do we not do it in the moment when we’re rushing, flooded, frustrated? Recently I’ve found a new self-coaching prompt I’m actually remembering to use. I’ve asked it to myself in those little moments in the day: When you’re trying on cl…
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Ep 179: Was your grandma beautiful, the purpose of photos, + breaking generational habits
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A girlfriend chat going back to the future, around the world, and ending with more ease. (Don’t miss the PS!) In today’s episode we’re talking about how to live in the flow of love. That sounds hard to pin down, but I’ll tell you exactly what to do and it’s so simple. The people you love most will thank you the deepest for listening. Links in this …
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Ep 178: How you’re hiding in your life + why it’s harming you
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A few months ago I got messages from 2 women in one week who were both hiding, on opposite ends of the same spectrum, each thinking they had the most to be ashamed of. As I sat with their stories I realized: we all think we’re hiding the most, or more than others. When the truth is everyone is either hiding in some way, or has healed from hiding bu…
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Ep 177: The 3rd level of healing in my body peace, 4 signs I saw in myself, + exactly how to get this sense of quiet confidence
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I went back to the site of past shame and was so grounded in myself, it was noteworthy. How did I stay more present than self-analytical, despite being in a room of wealthy people I had once felt so much smaller than? This is a different experience of confidence and freedom (of time, money, energy) than I’ve felt before. And I’m sharing exactly wha…
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Ep 176: Running into someone from your past + realizing you weren’t the problem
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How often do you double shame yourself? Part of the shame is warranted: we’re imperfect and insecure. Yet from that place how often do we also take on a double helping of guilt, instead of being able to see that the people or circumstances around us were also flawed and problematic? Sharing a story about a chance meeting that left me with so many i…
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Ep 175: Don’t let people throw you off your game - 3 steps to avoiding mom shame, unsolicited business advice, + more
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I had my first experience with mom shame, and I couldn’t believe I caved so quickly! I knew what was and was not a priority for me, but one little sentence… and I took an action purely out of shame and fear. #PalmToFace I was genuinely flabbergasted that I could feel pressured so easily on a decision I’d made very clearly over a year ago. I came ho…
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Ep 174: From anxious worrier to WILD PEACE, a case study in fertility/pregnancy, career/business, community/love, finances/home
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We got a call from our surrogate that she was spotting, shaken, and headed to the hospital. I’ve been sharing how much I’m confused by the peace I’m feeling around surrogacy and pregnancy. As someone who’s always been prone to anxiety, how the heck am I SO CALM?! I’m thrilled I am! But I literally don’t recognize this feeling of living in my body. …
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Ep 173: 7 Steps to Making Big Decisions (whether or not to have kids + we’re moving!)
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For years I’ve been endlessly making big decisions. Did we want to have kids or not? Were we supposed to leave NYC, and if so to go where? These decisions were the two longest and hardest I’ve ever had to make, but I’m so grateful for this process that eventually lead me to peace. As I wrestled with these decisions over the years, I took notes for …
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Ep 172: The #1 insensitive Q to please stop asking pregnant people
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I’ve had 5 years of being asked this question. #PalmToFace It’s one I asked others over the years! It seemed innocuous and I didn’t realize how triggering, personal, or just awkward it can be. This question is asked whether someone is pregnant, using IVF or conceiving naturally, or even had children years ago. Please note this isn’t to shame any of…
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Ep 171: Our Surrogacy Story (part 2)
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How did surrogacy get on our hearts? What are the misconceptions about surrogates? Bigger picture, how do you make big decisions (especially when you have no one to ask) and look for clues in the seeds God/the universe has planted around your life? We’re covering all of that plus the 4 reasons to NOT do surrogacy, why we turned down our 1st two mat…
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Ep 170: Our Fertility Journey (part 1)
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ICYMI my recent announcement on Instagram, we’ve been on a fertility journey for the last 6 years. From my first appointment about egg freezing when single, through multiple rounds of (failed) embryo freezing, to moving forward with a surrogate (gestational carrier), and our first embryo transfer last week! Today I’m answering Q’s you submitted abo…
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Ep 169: When you’re not as far as you’d hoped this time last year
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What if you’ve worked so hard the last year, only to feel so far from where you hoped you’d be? You’re still in debt, or the business still isn’t working; still waiting on the adoption or walking through infertility; still haven’t met your person, or aren’t over the relationship you lost. Or in my case, I’m not as healed, as undefined from grief a …
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EP 168: Burned out + asking how can this be easier
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I’m struggling today. You? I had another episode planned. Yet for reasons I’ll explain, it was feeling heavy. And I’m burned out. So I asked myself: What would feel easier today? I hope my enough will be enough for you today, and that you’ll give yourself the same grace. ❤️ Your weariness is welcome here, in an honest chat about how to continue whe…
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Ep 167: What’s your beauty healing score?
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When you say you feel “good” in an area, it’s compared to how you used to feel. You feel better. But if this is the best you’ve felt, can you really know it’s good? What if how you feel today is only 40% of what’s possible? You don’t even know what great feels like! Ten-ish years ago I was feeling so much better in my body and beauty. But something…
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Ep 166: How to feel beautiful *without* loving your body + stop excluding other women
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I want to introduce you to a new aspiration, belief system, way of living: Beauty Positive. My goal is not Body Positive, because you don’t need to feel positive about your body to live this way. Importantly, other people don’t need to feel positive about their body to join you here. Think about that sentence for a second… __________ “How to Finall…
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Ep 165: My 3-Part mantra + method to like your body more today
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There’s no affirmation I use more in my life. And this one actually isn’t even about your body. Yet it leaves you feeling better, kinder, more hopeful. And, better about your body. Then inspires you to take the next step to healing. If every woman used this, we could change our culture. Let’s start with us. Links mentioned in this episode: Ep 60: T…
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Ep 164: Real talk, how much would I spend to look younger + why filters are not the problem
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You sent so many messages when I started this convo on Stories a few months ago. Then I had an appointment I wanted to tell you about (yegads) and the two came full circle. What we get riled up about on social media distracts us from what we should really care about. From false advertising ignoring the biggest factors making women look younger and …
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Ep 163: Attractive angry women
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When does our rage feel compelling, not repelling? After Part 3 of the podcast series went live II received messages like this: “Hearing this unlocked something in me…” “You awoke an anger inside of me I’ve been swallowing, and made it feel okay to let it out…” “This was a holy rage and it was exciting, inviting even, to witness, thank you…” I had …
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You requested this episode, submitting follow-up Q’s you had after listening to parts 1-3. Today I’m answering your Q’s including: How do you move on after that level of betrayal? How many books are ghostwritten? Have you heard from anyone involved since it went live? I also talk about how to: Know when it’s better to fight, or walk away (even if y…
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Ep 162: Where do we go from here
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You’ve known gaslighting, rage at disorganization or disrespect, or a traumatic work/community experience. Today I’ll share 7 action ideas to help us protect ourselves in the present or future, those in our inner circle, and more broadly our culture. Use this cheat sheet to journal, discuss, and reflect what you’ll do in this season to grow 10% bet…
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Ep 161: My Story 3 of 3: It gets worse
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I want to say it gets better. In life I’ve really found that to be true. In romantic relationships, homes, friends, employees. But sometimes it gets worse first. How do you know when it’s time to walk away from a dream? From everything you’ve invested, with nothing–less than nothing, far far less than what you started with? You know it when it happ…
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Ep 160: My Story 2 of 3: Ignoring red flags to chase a dream
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In 2011 I started a business as a stylist. I’d moved to New York City for my career in theater after a Broadway tour, Radio City Rockettes, and all that jazz. [The below timeline is not covered in the episode and included here for backstory.] In 2014 a friend who worked at a top publisher told me that my style course, “had to be a book.” She’d told…
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Ep 159: My Story 1 of 3: Silent vs silenced
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For a year I’ve been asked, “What happened to you? What exactly are you grieving about?” Each time I would reply, “Unfortunately I’m not legally allowed to share right now, but hope to be able to soon.” Now I’m able to, and as I’ve known I would be all along, I feel terrified. So we’re starting with that: The difference between being silent and sil…
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The long + layered stories we’re all living in.That’s what this chat is about--you, us.You’ve asked for updates on my brother-in-law which I’m sharing here in the most respectful way possible.Yet really, this is about far more than one person’s physical healing + rather how we navigate the mental complexities of hope amidst hard things.You can catc…
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Ep 158: You don't have time to rush
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How do you train your body to be more calm in stress? Today I’m sharing an anchoring phrase that helps me every time I remember to use it, in hopes this conversation will help us all do so more often. Recorded from a car outside the hospital visiting my brother-in-law, we’ll talk not only big picture gratitude and presence, but practically how we m…
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When you’re waiting for news, for an answer, for closure… how are you patient, how do you get through the day, what do you occupy your mind with? This wonderful question came from a member of our Elegant Excellence Community. I shared the spontaneous teaching you’ll hear in this episode, and am following it up with thoughts through the lens of my b…
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Ep 156: Sympathy vs empathy vs empaths + how to avoid pity
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Four weeks ago I’d have told you I’m deeply empathetic. I still am! But I’ve been humbled as to how much I can declare that in scenarios in which I truly have never walked a similar path. It’s rare we have “overnight change” moments. When they happen we get a clear vision of a before and after of ourselves. Today we’ll chat about: The difference be…
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Ep 155: For the caregivers (our brother’s recent paralysis from an accident)
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If you love someone who’s walked through illness + injury, this “pour a cup” or “let’s go on a walk” chat is for you. My 26-year-old brother-in-law (outdoorsy, active, military veteran) was in an accident 2.5 weeks ago, fracturing his C5 vertebrae and paralyzing him from the neck down. He’s been given a 1-2% chance of getting out of a wheelchair, a…
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Ep 154: Why I’m ending my most profitable product + how to know when “it’s time” to make a change
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Whether ending a relationship, letting go of a home or a side gig, it can be so challenging to know when a long story has run its course. And it matters BIG TIME! When we’re leaking energy on the wrong thing, we can be missing out on passion and purpose meant for us, in our career or simply in how we live our daily life. In this episode I guide us …
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Ep 153: It’s tiring to be in the middle of a long story
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Calming nervous system dates, the simplest path to feeling beautiful + more in today’s post-Florida download. 94% of us are in a waiting season. #HandRaised This week I stumbled upon a few ways to support myself in what feels like a Groundhogs Day chapter + broke down why/how they helped so I can look for more. Join me in a seasonal reset inside ou…
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Ep 152: Zero Guilty Pleasures + Feeling Lighter
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A light girlfriend chat after a hard week. Anyone else just need to feel lighter? We talk about Prince Harry, Pamela Anderson, habit stacking, winter blues, maman guilt (pet or human) – a grab bag of topics. All tying in to less guilt in our actions or inactions (except when it’s warranted as I’ve been personally convicted of lately) and overall ho…
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Ep 151: My 13 year journey to healing
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What’s the thing you keep trying to solve/fix/change in your life? What should I do for work? Why are friendships hard for me? How can I be less anxious or reactive? Today I’m sharing the history of the Elegant Excellence Journal, which is really the history of my evolution in personal growth — how to heal. I say in this chat, “I wanted healing, I …
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Ep 150: The 5 reasons you’re behind
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What’s stealing your time? I asked myself that question while using my Elegant Excellence Journal one morning. When we’re behind most of us tend to go to one main reason. Perhaps that’s beating yourself up, or blaming others. Perhaps it’s a sense of failure that makes you procrastinate, or a believe you can solve it through perfection that amps you…
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Ep 149: How to live well, instead of fearing death
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A simple 5-part daily check in on living with peace while surrounded with hard things we can’t control. Trigger warning we speak of suicide and loss of life at a too young age. Though we end with hope, with actionable steps to guide us in what it means to live well each day driven not by a fear of death but an appreciation of life. ________________…
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Ep 148: An Encouragement to Keep Going
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While in a hard season right now there’s 2 phrases I keep coming back to. One question, and one statement. They’re my mantras, my guides, and goodness are they blessing me. If you’re going through something hard right now it can feel complicated to find words of wisdom that really ring true. Don’t feel trite, don’t fall apart upon further scrutiny …
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Ep 147: How to speak up for yourself: agreeable vs demanding women + finding our center
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I’m embarrassed to admit this even happened. Yet a recent appointment made it crystal clear: I am a people pleaser in an unexpected way, with unintended consequences for people I care about (not to mention myself!) Furthermore, I experienced in real time when it’s worth it to be uncomfortable for a moment, to save yourself hours of discomfort if yo…
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Ep 146: I’m still grieving + I’d like to be done thanks
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Do you have days it feels hard to get out of bed, or you want to climb back in halfway through? That was today for me, and I decided rather than putting on a happier face to talk about what I had planned, I’d just share. From bed, from notes in my Elegant Excellence Journal. Why do we hesitate to be honest we’re “still” not “over” what happened to …
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Ep 145: What makes women feel beautiful: Inner Body Positivity
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Culture puts much emphasis on the outside of our bodies. We feel confident or insecure based on what others see. Hearing from a few students of my Healing Burnout course made me ponder a new layer of feeling beautiful that we’re overlooking: how our body feels on the inside, the parts that only we feel. This is inside body kindness, which then beco…
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Ep 144: Why you’re afraid to slow down
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The root reason you’re running so fast may surprise you. There’s the first layer fears. Once I dealt with those… I found a second layer, deeper reasons I didn’t even realize were there. Then I saw a friend go through the same phases, then students inside my Healing Burnout course started to report the same. Here’s the secret: the real magic of life…
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Ep 143: Cultivating inner confidence to trust yourself most
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I have a vision for our new year, friend. One that is softer, more beautiful, yet has more easy strength than we’ve known. In today’s episode I break down how I arrived at a new season of inner confidence, and how that’s different from outer confidence. We’ll talk about how to think about losses without minimizing them, what it means to feel like a…
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