Welcome to “Tell Me About Your Mother,” a podcast for psychotherapists by psychotherapists, where we explore issues related to our profession, filtering them through our professional, and sometimes personal and humorous, lens. Each episode, Evan, Eli, and Melissa offer food for thought by bringing their experience and humanity to help you strengthen your practice of psychotherapy. We would love to connect with you at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run.
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Melissa discuss the vagus nerve and its implications in emotional regulation and treatment. 3 stages of polyvagal theory Technology outrunning our limbic systems evolution Anxiety tension and fear are attempts to intellectualize feeling Feeling avoidance compared to a nicotine craving Neurolinguistic programming Mel…
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Episode 38: Pop Psychology Propaganda
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Melissa explore the often deductive and maladaptive conceptualizations pop psychology shares on social media and its negative consequences. We plan to make this a series since there's a lot of material to cover. This episode focuses on social media reels that are giving advice as to what types of texts to send to yo…
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Episode 37: Healing Through Song
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1:27:25
Send us a Text Message. Evan and Jamie Kay meet and discuss the healing, reflective, and connecting elements of songwriting with the writer and its audiences. Jamie has written over 300 songs in the course of his 50 years of songwriting. He's a gifted storyteller who's sincerity penetrates throughout our conversation. We're happy to share his energ…
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Episode 36: Witchcraft Accusation
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Melissa discuss clients' perspectives that therapists have super powers, how being seen in a raw, deep, meaningful way can at times feel like voodoo magic. Support the Show. Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run…
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Episode 35: Why Don't I Cry In Therapy?
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Melissa answer an audience question regarding intellectual defenses in session. "How do I get my therapist to become aware that I am using my intellect to deflect from emotional vulnerability in our sessions?" We are hoping to incorporate this type of interaction with followers more often. If you have any questions …
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Episode 34: Intellectual Avoidance
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Melissa explore how intellectualizing stories serves as a protective distancing from emotional exploration, expression, and healing. Implicit memory healing Bilateral stimulation CBT often ineffective for treating Bottom up approach to client care versus top down approach Emotional-relational realm being the healing…
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Episode 33: Dissociative Attunement
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Melissa explore the ways in which clients use intellectualism as a means to conceptualize emotional memories to maintain safety. Topics also include: Emotional attainment Maintaining an observer role when someone is dysregulated Maladaptive ways of creating self-protection Therapy is not advice-giving Explore emotio…
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Episode 32: Emotional Attunement
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Send us a Text Message. Evan, Melissa, and Eli share their experiences with client attunement and the ways in which such connection can promote a deep sense of understanding and meaning. Emotional attunement with clients informing unconventional approaches Eli sifts through his transcription grad school notes from 1913 Emotional attunement compared…
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Send us a Text Message. Evan, Melissa, and Eli process Evan's recent experience being harassed by the police. Topics also include: Profiling Crime and punishment ideology Life-long record keeping Escalation before de-escalation Cop incompetence Support the Show. Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmea…
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Episode 30: Pray The Gay Away?
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Eli meet in video form for the first time-- available on Youtube! They use this hour to explore themes of: Conversion Therapy Emotional Residue from clients Counter-transferrence Support the Show. Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run…
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Episode 29: Dating Dopamine
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Send us a Text Message. Parentified child impact in romantic relationships Cultural differences fueling assumptions in friendship DOS OS How the dating sphere has changed with technology You watched too many Disney movies Culture of immediacy impeded on natural romantic development The romantic spark is bullshit Dopamine dating Are we marketing aut…
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Episode 28: Playboy-AI-Sex Dolls
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Eli join for another episode to explore how therapists can unintentionally assume understanding of clients' stories based on personal bias. They then explore the evolution of porn and its possible future implications on sexuality, dating, and identity. Only fans AI becoming a sexual sphere Sex dolls Specifically ide…
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Episode 27: When to Parentectomy
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Send us a Text Message. Evan, Meliisa, and Eli explore the a case that Melissa is processing. A great resource from Dr. Nicole LePera helps us get started Parentified child case study How are crises adaptive systemically? Reenactment between parent, peers, and therapist Caretaking to avoid self care Emphasizing choice with client archetypes that ex…
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Episode 26: What Are We Doing?
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Send us a Text Message. Evan, Melissa, and Eli discuss the intention of the podcast and ways to become more intentional in our discussions. Melissa is our podcast mommy Incorporating the interpersonal supervision model into our conversations Chasing trends creates pop psychology and misinformation The power of Free Association Support the Show. Hav…
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Episode 25: Firecracker Puppies
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Eli practice behaving without Melissa being present for this episode. What’s worth investigating with a client? Salem witch trials Eli wants to try Ayahuasca Being attracted to clients Therapeutic flow state is healing Ego blockading energy connections with nature and people Spirituality in nature Eli shares his "fi…
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Episode 24: Take Off The Therapist Hat
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Send us a Text Message. Politically correct culture influencing dialogue in therapy Questions can evoke shame Moving with clients’ awareness When self-disclosure is therapeutic Where are his balls? Treating infidelity Story revisions Fear memories have more salient reinforcements Having therapeutic relationships that span years Support the Show. Ha…
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Send us a Text Message. Melissa rejoins Evan and Eli. They quickly realize that Melissa is the mother of the group and helps "police" the episode content. This realization prompted Evan and Eli to explore the origins of foreskin shots. What are foreskin shots? Clients exposed to clinical media and come to therapy with inaccurate self-diagnoses Ince…
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Episode 22: Alcoholic Garden Gnome
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Eli are one-on-one for this episode. Within minutes they realize that Melissa represents a shadow mother figure in the podcast dynamic and that her absence allows for more dick jokes. Discussing the phallic qualities of their mic stands provides a bridge to a slightly more serious conversation: “Sounding gay” Southe…
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Episode 21: Emotional Literacy
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Send us a Text Message. subtle minimization in childhood Using Lysol to kill monsters Somatic experience informs Physicians are not mental health professionals Bypassing intellectual blocking by processing clients’ somatic experiences Dangers of pop psychology using incorrect language that impacts clients’ self perceptions Stop using manic episode …
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Episode 20: Your Body is Communicating
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Send us a Text Message. Evan and Eli support Melissa and process her gut reaction to clients’ stories, exploring her own counter-transference. This episode also includes topics of: Using cuss words when you pray Affairs don’t happen in a vacuum Counter transference informing therapeutic process Negative core belief of defective shame Blowing away b…
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Episode 19: Emotional Portaling
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Send us a Text Message. Reenactment affecting client retention Yawning in trauma-focused therapy Infantilizing do alleviate parents’ anxiety Don’t be a dick Viewing identity as a developmental sprectrum Extreme political views reenacting childhood trauma What’s going on with trucks with flags? Ideology being substituted for identity Emotional porta…
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Episode 18: Mental Gymnastics
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Send us a Text Message. Eli, Evan, and Melissa take a forensic look at reaction formation, emblem leakage, and cognitive dissonance within Bill Cosby’s career and criminal case and the cost of “winners and losers” within the legal and two-party payer healthcare systems. What do we need to be more honest with ourselves and others? What would it take…
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Send us a Text Message. In this episode, Evan shares his experience with a virtual family client. Evan, Eli, and Melissa reflect upon how the family system creates unwanted feelings and responses from all involved and that common lack of emotional trust in families. Please join us as we navigate interpersonal communication by also contemplating: In…
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Episode 16: Identified Patient Paradigms
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Send us a Text Message. When therapists meet themselves in session Counter transference implications Can defiance be a form of play? Conceptualizing child behavior as a mode of communication Eli compares school expulsion as a railroad car on prison pipeline What is a "Fawning" trauma response? How do secure attachments grieve romantic losses? Evan'…
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Episode 15: Accountability or Trauma Activation?
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Send us a Text Message. In this episode Evan Miller welcomes guests! Daniel Rhodes has a wide range of professional experience ranging from Counselor, Clinical Director, and now a Utilization Review Specialist. Evan and Daniel have been in long-term recovery together for over a decade and in this episode they explore their experiences and relationa…
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Episode 14: Intellectual Scaffolding
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Send us a Text Message. Intellectual Scaffolding …prepare for processing emotion “in-the-now” or “numb”…is client re-experiencing & processing events or casually reciting their story? What is client trying to do for me; convince me, win my validation? Client story as “photo negative” . . . needs hidden in darkness and highlighting others’ wishes & …
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Episode 13: What Are We Ass-uming?
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Send us a Text Message. Evan, Melissa, and Eli explore how assuming a clients' needs may negatively impact their growth within therapy. Topics also explored regard: Mental health professionals are underpaid How private practice marketing draws clients that a culturally similar Community-based planning compared to counseling agendas Presenting probl…
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Episode 12- When Interns Mutiny
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Send us a Text Message. Using their usual style of humorous narrative, Melissa, Evan, and Eli extemporaneously delve into their professional experience with parallel process as clinical supervisors. What is parallel process? Briefly, parallel process is rooted in the psychoanalytic concepts of transference and countertransference where supervisees …
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Send us a Text Message. In this episode, Eli shares his experience with speaking to a Christian congregation about sexuality. Evan, Eli, and Melissa reflect upon how psychotherapists can encourage couples to communicate their sexual desires by first accepting their own sexuality. Please join us as we navigate interpersonal communication by also con…
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Send us a Text Message. Evan, Melissa, and Eli explore the way in which attachment styles impact peoples’ messages, perceived messages, and counselors’ countertransference. This conversation also generated discussions related to: Counselor’s response to a client with anxious/avoidant attachment style Importance of a counselor’s self-awareness When …
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Episode 9- Attachment Messages
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Send us a Text Message. Evan, Melissa, and Eli explore the way in which attachment styles impact peoples’ messages, perceived messages, and counselors’ countertransference. This conversation also generated discussions related to: Career Counseling: benefits of personifying a job (helps identify abuse) Clinical Directors: being the log in a wood spl…
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Episode 8- Emotional Adulting
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1:08:42
Send us a Text Message. Evan, Melissa, and Eli explore the ingrained familial contracts, the power of renegotiation, and seeking internal wellness. Evan explores the ways in which his dysfunctional family system has impacted his toxicity tolerance and his newly formed self-gatekeeping. Speaking about the holiday season also generated discussions re…
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Episode 6- You’re Just Not That Important
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1:13:51
Send us a Text Message. Tell Me About Your Mother offers an unscripted look at the genius and controversy of Dave Chappelle’s latest comedy special now streaming on Netflix. Our reactions to and perception of Dave Chapelle’s message lead us to contemplate whether we can help others change and grow, particularly people within our personal lives, as …
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Episode 7 - Vibrators for All
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Send us a Text Message. WARNING -- Discussion of sex practices ahead! Tell Me About Your Mother ventures into the world of sex education and sexual health in this unscripted expression of how psychotherapists broach the subject of sexuality with our clients, ourselves, as well as with colleagues. Speaking about sexuality also generated discussions …
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Episode 4- Queerly Cultural
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Send us a Text Message. Securely fasten your headphones, dear listeners, as we drop a few F bombs while contemplating our own cultural indoctrination and the meaning behind clients’ “testing behaviors.” In this episode, Eli, Evan, and Melissa explore many topics related to racial and cultural identity development including: What is “queer”? Assignm…
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Episode 5- Against Familial Grains
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Send us a Text Message. What do you get when you cross maladaptive family dynamics with a resilient spirit and an intellectually curious mind? Evan and Eli share how their family dynamics have shaped their pursuit of excellence in psychotherapy as well as contributed to their own personal growth. Sit a spell and laugh with us as we contemplate: Fam…
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Episode 3 -Dirty Laundry of Substance Use Treatment
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Send us a Text Message. Join us as Tell Me About Your Mother explores issues impacting the quality of substance use treatment. Evan, Eli, and Melissa share their insights into how they experienced working as clinicians in substance use treatment and offer solutions for improving the industry. Topics explored in this episode include: Observations of…
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Episode 2- Fear Factor: Equine Ejaculate or Emotional Intimacy?
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Send us a Text Message. How do our client’s cultural beliefs and experiences inform our sessions? Are we able to hold space for beliefs which do not reflect our own? In this episode, Eli, Melissa, and Evan explore what we love about psychotherapy. In answering this question, we contemplate the role our clients’ stories and dare we say it, delusions…
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Episode 1: Titanic Family Dynamics -- An Introduction
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Send us a Text Message. Evan, Eli, and Melissa welcome you to their inaugural podcast of Tell Me About Your Mother. In this episode, we explore how our quest for excellence in psychotherapy led us to create this podcast. Evan shares how his childhood fascination with the movie Titanic relates to his family dynamics and thus influenced his career in…
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