Self-Care is Not Selfish: Loving Yourself is How You Love Others

Becoming Unapologetically Me with Helen Norbury

Becoming Unapologetically Me is the podcast for people who know that they have more inside them and want it to come out. In this episode, host Helen Norbury discusses how codependency and burnout relate to loving yourself, or a lack thereof. She shares how they affected her, and how she learned to put herself as a priority.

When Helen was growing up, the concepts of loving yourself and being humble seemed to exist as opposites to each other. How could you love yourself first without being cocky or arrogant? For many years she thought self-care was for the self-absorbed, which feeded into her dangerous work ethic. She would never say no to work, to the point where she went into labor and didn’t tell her husband because she knew he would give her a hard time about her working through it. At the time she was patting herself on the back for her resilience, but this wasn’t good in any way. It was coming from an incredibly unhealthy need for recognition and approval, and resulted in total burnout.

Working was a coping mechanism to block out unwanted thoughts and feelings - a distraction from all the limiting beliefs she wanted to ignore or prove wrong. This was all happening at a subconscious level in her everyday life. When she started bringing awareness to it, suddenly so many things in her life made sense - especially the type of people she attracted. Self-care became a cornerstone in her recovery from trauma and her addiction to codependency, and she learned that it was not synonymous with arrogance or cockiness. Rather, self-care was the best form of care; not only for her, but for the people around her as well.

There’s far more to self-care than candles, massages, or spending money on yourself. Self-care is not about the external things - the key to self care is inside of us. It’s not easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s definitely worth the journey.

Key Takeaways

• When healing from an addiction, take special care in healing the cause, or it may just pop up again in another form.
• Self-care is not synonymous with arrogance or cockiness - rather, it’s one of the best ways you can love yourself and love others.
• You can have a much bigger impact on the world and those around you if you look after yourself.

Resources

Helen Norbury on Instagram | LinkedIn | Facebook | helenannenorbury.co.uk