Understanding how your partner starts fights and provokes you… and what you can do about it

Closeness

This is admittedly a dense episode. It's less about the usual sexy and thought provoking ideas we usually explore and more about the inane conflicts that arise in relationship which prevent us from experiencing true intimacy or a great connection! Fighting is often trite, exhausting and most couple's can't even remember what their last ten or twenty petty fights were all about. While some altercations may be symptomatic of a deeper issue, others can simply be avoided with a little presence. In this episode we'll teach you how to understand and navigate conflict in a healthy way.

Chapters: 0:00 Introduction

1:59 Conflict is usually the result of a repetitive action

3:20 Cause and effect

9:54 Some partners enjoy provoking you

11:10 Indirect vs direct: 20 minutes of bad behavior

24:02 Another 10 minutes of bad behavior

30:30 A logic based universe

32:30 When something parasitic occurs in the brain

37:22 No one actually knows how to be vulnerable today

38:56 Blindsiding your partner will lead to confusion and negative reactions

40:25 The elusive world of feelings

42:15 When people think all feelings are valid and should be validated

48:45 Understanding intuition

50:45 Text fights

53:30 Engaging in psychological warfare

53:56 When you're already a present, honest and accountable partner but they keep tanking

55:30 When you've done nothing to violate trust

58:00 Defending yourself is often not in your best interest

1:03:00 Are you focusing on what's working or the lack of it?

1:04:05 When you just have a stormy partner

1:05:25 It's natural to get defensive after poking the pair or being prodded

1:06:15 You cannot be infinitely patient with bad behavior

1:07:28 Playin the armchair psychologist

1:10:46 Outro