300: What's it like to do MDMA therapy with your wife? (ft. Lucas)

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

A lot of our clients crave more intimacy or closeness with their wife/relationship partner. Often this includes a longing, or a sense of something missing. As Lucas, our guest here, put it, "The feeling I recall most strongly was a sense of loneliness."

Have you ever felt lonely in your relationship? If you’ve wished you and your partner were closer, or yearned for a breakthrough but didn’t know quite how to get there, you’re going to want to listen to this.

Psychedelics like MDMA, LSD, and psilocybin (the active component in magic mushrooms) are in the process of being re-legalized. And for good reason —they have incredible potential when it comes to alleviating suffering and boosting connection. Paired with quality guides (the right mentors or therapists), they can help us gain a deeper sense of love, trust, and belonging in the world.

But it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Doing medicine (which is how we phrase it, rather than “doing drugs”) is only truly responsible when it’s combined with quality inner growth work. One of Lucas's realizations, for example, was "I was the source of some of my own pain." While in a way upsetting, this was also liberating, because it meant he had control over addressing the pain. "It was a letting go of my conviction that I was right, and being open to something new."

It's worth noting, as well, that these kinds of therapies don't have to be reserved for relationship distress. As Lucas put it, he and his wife sensed "There's an opportunity for even more for us."

So: Can you use MDMA therapy to deepen love with your wife, regardless of where you're at in terms of level of fulfillment already? Yes. Listen to hear more.

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Memorable quotes from this episode:

• "My need to be loved by my wife was preventing her from loving me the way she wanted to love me."
• "She was aware of a certain graspiness from me."
• "What kind of life could I live if I were never afraid of being alone?"
• "I didn't feel a sense of, 'I need to solve this right now' or 'I'm a bad person for having done this.'"
• "Suddenly everything came into play because we'd touched on the scariest thing."
• "It was really meaningful to feel her move towards me."
• "The difference is that now it feels really good to do the work together."