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Trauma Bonding Part 2
Manage episode 445696924 series 3278947
Let’s remember what trauma bonding is - In a simple definition, it is when the one who has hurt you is the one you turn to help you feel better. Trauma bonding feels like, “you’ve broken me into pieces but you’re the only one who can fix me.” The more you reach out to this covert abuser for love, recognition, comfort, validation, support, reconciliation, or closure, the stronger the trauma bond becomes.
You could even call trauma bonding a conditioned dependency. You have been conditioned to rely on this person to help you feel relief from your internal stress. They make you hurt by the way they treat you, and they make you feel better because a healthy relationship with them is what you desire. No one else can make you feel better about that relationship. They can talk with you about it. They can help support you and care for you. But no one can take away that deep internal pain that an intimate covert abuser causes. So you continue to do everything in your power to make peace with this person. You dig in so hard because you desire it SO much!
So what do we do about it? I’m going to give you 10 strategies. All 10 might not apply to you. All of us are different. Take the ones that feel right to you and start applying them to your life. Later come back and listen again, you might find a few more that will help you in the new place that you are in.
318 episoade
Manage episode 445696924 series 3278947
Let’s remember what trauma bonding is - In a simple definition, it is when the one who has hurt you is the one you turn to help you feel better. Trauma bonding feels like, “you’ve broken me into pieces but you’re the only one who can fix me.” The more you reach out to this covert abuser for love, recognition, comfort, validation, support, reconciliation, or closure, the stronger the trauma bond becomes.
You could even call trauma bonding a conditioned dependency. You have been conditioned to rely on this person to help you feel relief from your internal stress. They make you hurt by the way they treat you, and they make you feel better because a healthy relationship with them is what you desire. No one else can make you feel better about that relationship. They can talk with you about it. They can help support you and care for you. But no one can take away that deep internal pain that an intimate covert abuser causes. So you continue to do everything in your power to make peace with this person. You dig in so hard because you desire it SO much!
So what do we do about it? I’m going to give you 10 strategies. All 10 might not apply to you. All of us are different. Take the ones that feel right to you and start applying them to your life. Later come back and listen again, you might find a few more that will help you in the new place that you are in.
318 episoade
Toate episoadele
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1 I Don’t Want the Stupid Cheesecake: Why “Nice” Gestures From a Covert Narcissist Feel So Wrong 18:51
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1 Why Forgiving and Forgetting Doesn’t Erase the Pain of Covert Narcissism 23:47
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1 Covert Narcissists Control the Narrative 20:23
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1 The True Intentions of the Covert Narcissist (Special Throwback Episode) 21:13
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1 The Silent Signals: How Covert Narcissists Use Nonverbal Communication to Control 16:46
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1 Nothing Was Ever Good Enough: Growing Up with a Covert Narcissistic Mother 23:36
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1 The Most Outlandish Things the Covert Narcissist Has Done 20:56
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1 From Fixer to Free: Breaking the Cycle of a Narcissistic Mother’s Influence 24:13
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1 From Self-Doubt to Confidence: Empowered Responses to Covert Narcissism 18:31
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1 Parenting the Parent: Healing as an Adult Child of a Covert Narcissist 15:46
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1 Unmasking Narcissism: Breaking the Confusion of Covert Narcissism, Part Two 26:04
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1 The Effects of Projections and Expectations (Special Throwback Episode) 24:08
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1 Unmasking Narcissism Part One: Breaking the Confusion of Covert Narcissism 22:17
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1 My Muck Sweeping Broom (Special Throwback Episode) 20:36
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1 How Victim Blaming Silences Survivors of Covert Narcissism 17:02
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