The Doorstep Mile

The Doorstep Mile

The Doorstep Mile

It is often only a small jump that stands between where we are and where we want to be. Leaping from a high rock into a sunlit river, asking for a pay rise or speaking to the attractive stranger who keeps catching your eye. But it can be so hard to act even when we know that one small step is all it takes.

Why do we do this to ourselves? And does everyone struggle the same way? (Short answer: yes.)

When I begin an expedition, I do not stand on the start line beating my chest with excitement, raring to go and exuberant at the journey ahead. I am much more likely to be tired from a sleepless night, a bit tearful and full of doubt. I never think, 'Woohoo! Isn't this wonderful?' (Besides, if I ever did, then I would accuse myself of being on a 'holiday' rather than an 'expedition'.)

I vow that if I make it home, I will never do something as daft as this again. I will spend the rest of my life sitting on the sofa with the curtains closed, eating ice cream straight from the tub and binge-watching box sets. I will die fat, pale, unloved, lonely… but blissfully happy.

'Never again,' I declare every time.

I used to berate myself for being pathetic rather than intrepid. How could I claim to be an AdventurerTM when I found it so hard to begin adventures? Time after time, I questioned whether this was the right life for me.

Thankfully, the Norwegians have a phrase that encapsulates this difficulty of starting a journey. Enter the Vikings, striding to my rescue…

Picture the scene in Norway. You're all cosy and warm in your lovely log cabin, relaxing on your IKEA furniture, Skyping your pals, playing Minecraft, eating meatballs, sipping Carlsberg and listening to ABBA on Spotify (and any other slanderous Scandinavian stereotypes you can dream up to rile your Norwegian friends…) Snuggled in front of the fire with your beautiful blonde lover, the prospect of stepping out into the swirling snowstorm to start a long and challenging journey is not at all appealing. You shudder. And yet you know you must start. You are, after all, a Viking at heart.

The Norwegians refer to this moment as the Dørstokkmila. The Doorstep Mile. Leaving your front door is the longest mile of any journey.

I wish I had known about the Doorstep Mile years ago, for it puts a name to the nervy feeling I have experienced so often. I used to think I was lazy or a coward. But actually it was not just me: it is a common enough hurdle to have a name! If you can deal with your Doorstep Mile, then you are in a strong position to accomplish more than you imagine. As simple as that. As enormous as that. Dream big but start small.

And this is all that I have to offer you. This is the heart of the entire book and everything I know about coaxing myself to live more adventurously.

When I found it hard to commit to adventures, I should have put the enormity out of my mind, and just climbed into the boat, clipped into the pedals, or taken the first step.

Think of the massive thing you dream of accomplishing. Now work out what is the tiniest increment of that, This is what you need to begin with.

To remove the emotional baggage of your own dreams, look at these goals and consider what small step you would take towards them.

• You want to climb Everest? Go sleep on a hill.

• You want to run a marathon? Put your trainers on and go for a jog.

• You want to start a business? Phone a friend to talk about ideas.

• You want to ease your money worries a little? Put your loose change in a saving jar by the front door.

• You want to become fluent in French? Eat some brie.

The Doorstep Mile action should quicken the pulse, but not so much that you do not dare act. If you still feel overwhelmed or tempted to procrastinate, then you are thinking too big. You do not have to set your trousers on fire straight away. The Doorstep Mile needs to be an action so simple that there is no valid reason not to do it, so small that no plausible obstruction remains in your way.

Keep breaking down your Doorstep Mile into smaller and less scary steps. Eventually, you have to either act or accept that the only barrier left in the way is your own wimpishness.

Whether you choose to do anything about that is up to you.

Over to You:

• What is an enormous, audacious idea you dream unrealistically about?
• What is the Doorstep Mile action you can take, right now, that will get you started in that direction? Write it down. Even better, make it public (put it on social media, stick a note on the fridge, CC everyone in an email) and appoint a commitment referee to harass you into action.
• When will you have done it by? (Any later than this weekend counts as wimpish procrastination! Most questions in this book encourage thought. This one demands action.)

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