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Tales of Recovery I can feel my heart again (18 months post explant surgery)
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Here I am 18 months post #breastimplantEXPLANT
It took a lot of advocating for my body, for my SELF.
I know I drank the koolaid 17 years ago and thought that plastic surgery was a necessary thing to do for me to ‘like ‘ my body and fit in to the social construct of what a woman is supposed to look like to be sexy, beautiful, whatever…
I fucked up. I caved in. I fell into the violence of rejecting my body because of what the culture sold us.
I absolutely forgive my younger Gris, those were the messages she received and she believed them. And to be honest… I did like them for a while.
But time and experience changes us, and wisdom starts to drop in.
A few years into the implants I began to have thyroid issues among other weird physical symptoms. I didn’t know them that is was my INTELLIGENT Body trying to protect me by rejecting a silicone piece of a thing inside my chest, sitting over my heart and lungs.
Doc after doc after surgeon telling me that the implants had nothing to do with it.
So I did what I do now, and I listened to me. To ME.
And told the surgeon that put them in to begin with, to please just stop trying to convince me to get replacements and just take them out already.
Immediately after the surgery I felt a relief like no other. So much swelling went away.
I began the recovery process of getting my strength back, my breath long again, my hair (which had been thinning out a bit) began to grow and thicken. The random heart palpitations stopped. My thyroid antibodies are more than half way down. I have energy again. Even though I never stopped practicing yoga or moving my body but… I am no longer fatigued every other day, and wondering wtf is happening.
I am so grateful for my body.
For all that it has gotten me through and Sustained me up to now.
It is my temple and conduit for LIFE.
May I continue to thank it, honor it, allow it all the pleasure it wants, take sweet care of it and allow it to BE as it is.
No more koolaid for me.
I can feel my heart again.
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