This is a podcast all about deconstructing who we are and exploring who we are becoming.
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Ep 72: Can People Pleasers Consent?
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We hear a lot about consent in a sexual context, but what about the other places it shows up? Jaime and CA explore the nuance of consent and what it means in regards to our relationships and how we show up for our partners, friends, and family. Also - Come to our first ever in person retreat “The Spiritual Soma Release Retreat:” buy.stripe.com/14k5…
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Ep 71: I Didn't Have a Childhood
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Social media is filled with nostalgia and it can be a lot of fun. But what happens when you look at the shared childhood experiences of others and think to yourself, “that wasn’t me?” Join CA and Jaime as they explore what life looks like for those of us who have had to, more or less, raise ourselves. Is being a latchkey kid something we need to he…
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Ep 70: Anxious-Attachment (Part 2)
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Jaime and CA continue their series on insecure attachment styles with a discussion on the anxious-attachment style. This time, Jaime opens up about her experiences as someone who naturally falls under this category. Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATION…
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Ep 69: Avoidant-Attachment (Part 1)
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We’re back! CA and Jaime return from their hiatus with a series on insecure attachment styles. In this episode, they explore the Avoidant-Attachment style both from a clinical standpoint and from a personal standpoint via CA’s experiences. Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Order Jaim…
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Ep 68: Dissociation and Disengagement
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Are dissociation and disengagement the same thing? Is it ever healthier to more or less walk away to protect yourself? In this episode, CA and Jaime explore both dissociation and disengagement, using the analogy of a snowstorm. Join us to discover when we need to tough it out, put on a coat, or stay inside. Support the podcast by joining our Coffee…
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Ep 67: Recalibrating our Thresholds
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We all know that healing isn’t linear, but there does tend to be a moment when a corner is turned - where we begin to live our life again. What do we do then? Season 1 of the show focused on healing and trauma recovery. Join Jaime and CA as they introduce Season 2, which will focus on what happens after. Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fi…
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In this episode, CA and Jaime explore how relationships can serve as protective factors for trauma processing and healing. Especially relationships in which we are not merely tolerated, but rather accepted and, ideally, celebrated. Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Order Jaime’s book…
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Join Jaime and CA as they delve into the complexities of spirituality. They question whether religion has exclusive control over our spiritual experiences, provide a clear definition of spirituality, and dive into the topic of secular spirituality. Additionally, they explore the themes of self-righteousness, self-sovereignty, authority within the s…
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Ep 64: The Cringest Episode We've Ever Done
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Join CA and Jaime as they dive into the concept of "cringe." They'll dissect its nature, explore why it makes us squirm, and reveal how trauma recovery can shift our understanding. Get ready for an eye-opening discussion that will change the way you think about cringe. Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.…
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Ep 63: Exploring Personal Evolution with Audrey Assad
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Join CA and Jaime as they explore personal evolution with the internationally recognized singer, Audrey Assad. Discover the transformative power of music, delve into profound discussions on faith, suffering, and self-acceptance, and gain valuable insights into the art of living in the moment. Audrey's wisdom and experiences make for a truly inspiri…
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Ep 62: Bee Curious, with McKay Orton
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Jaime and CA welcome McKay Orton, a natural beekeeper who has repeatedly gone viral to discuss beekeeping, nature, animals, mental health, and how they intersect. Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Order Jaime’s upcoming book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It will come out on S…
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Ep 61: Toxic Relationship Recovery
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CA puts Jaime in the hot seat to discuss Jaime's brand new book, "Toxic Relationship Recovery," which comes out tomorrow! Get a behind-the-scenes look at everything that went into writing (and recording) it before you pick it up yourself! Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Pre-order J…
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Ep 60: Why is Intimacy So Hard?
1:03:31
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Are intimacy and sex the same thing? Is skipping right into the “deeper conversations” a good way to create intimacy? How do we actually form intimate relationships with other people? Jaime and CA explore these questions and more as they take a deep dive into intimacy, what it is, how we build it, and why it’s so hard. Support the podcast by joinin…
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Ep 59: The Jonah Hill Approach
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In this special bonus episode, CA and Jaime take a deep dive into the Jonah Hill text message situation to explore the importance of standards and boundaries, how and when to have conversations about them, standards versus control, and more. Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Jonah Hi…
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Ep. 58: Can Humor Help Us Heal?
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Can humor help us heal? Can a joke ever be “too dark?” Join Jaime and CA as they chat with comedian Myles Weber and explore the relationship between comedy and healing on this hilarious and insightful episode. Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Notes: Jaime and CA learn how to bante…
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Ep 57: You Don't Have To Suffer
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Suffering has a role in life, but what happens if it takes center stage? CA and Jaime explore how we can break free from looking at our trauma as a main fixture of our identity and learn to let our suffering be a part of who we are and not all of who we are. Notes: The role of suffering in our lives Suffering as “part of our lives” vs suffering as …
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Ep 56: A Voice In The Darkness
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Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned In this incredibly personal and powerful episode, Jaime and CA explore the dark moments in our lives where it can seem impossible to see the light. They also discuss how to be there for someone in those moments, even when you are dealing with stuff yoursel…
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Ep 55: Let Me Know What I Can Do...
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Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned We often find ourselves offering help by way of the phrase, “let me know what I can do to help,” but have we ever stopped to think about how incredibly unhelpful that may be? Jaime and CA explore how to actually provide real support for people who ar…
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Ep 54: Neurodivergency and Relationships
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Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned CA and Jaime continue their series on Neurodivergency by discussing how it impacts relationships, focusing on romantic partners. They discuss the importance of actually knowing yourself, how to properly communicate your needs, what acceptance looks l…
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Ep 53: Neurodivergency and the Self (Part 1)
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Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Jaime and CA begin a series on Neurodivergency by exploring through their own experiences what it is, comorbidities and how they can affect diagnosis, how neurodivergent brains and neurotypical brains think differently, and more. Notes: Just a reminder! Wha…
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Ep 52: "Producer's Pick" - Date Yourself
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Go on social media and within two minutes you will come across dating advice. What if we took the best of that advice and directed it toward our relationship with ourselves? That sounds good on paper, but when it comes down to it, what does building a relationship with yourself look like? How do we do it? Jaime and CA are off this week, so our prod…
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Ep 51 - When Your Parent is Your Bully
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As children, our homes are supposed to be our safe haven; a place where we can get away from the things that make life tough, but what happens when it’s not? What happens when we are bullied at home, too? In this episode, CA and Jaime explore bullying by discussing where it comes from, how it is learned, and how we can fight against it, even when i…
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Ep 50 - Our One-Year Anniversary!
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1:09:28
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Happy Anniversary! Jaime and CA celebrate the show’s one-year anniversary by looking back over their journey and then getting intimate by answering some questions from The Skin Deep’s, “{THE AND} Relationship Card Game.” Notes: Happy Anniversary! Why we started the podcast Our journey once we started Our hosts get personal with a card game Links: S…
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Can you experience joy after or even in the midst of trauma? CA and Jaime take a look at why embracing joy can be such a difficult barrier for us to move beyond when trauma is a part of our lives and then they explore what exactly we can do about it. Notes: Can you feel joy after experiencing trauma? How joy can become a barrier How to move beyond …
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Consent is mandatory and well all know that, but it runs a lot deeper than just saying “yes” before the act. In a world filled with fluidity and kinks, navigating consent, especially with someone who has been traumatized can be incredibly tricky. Join Jaime and CA as they explore what consent means, what it looks like in practice, and how to have h…
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Ep. 47: Stop Triggering Me
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Learning our triggers is a huge part of the healing process, but knowing them and moving beyond them are two very different things. How do we break away from them? What do we do when we trigger someone else? How should they react? CA and Jaime take a deep-dive into these questions and more as they explore triggers, where they come from, and how to …
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Have you ever been told that you are too needy? Are you? Maybe it’s not that simple. Jaime and CA explore what people really mean when they claim that we are too sensitive, where their response and our “neediness” comes from, and what we can do about it. Notes: A sensory experience Am I too sensitive? Debunking the concept of being “oversensitive” …
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We know that we need to learn certain skills to move beyond our traumas to live more fully authentic lives, but we also know that we can’t call a timeout on our lives as we learn those skills. Join CA and Jaime as they explore how to learn those skills and adapt to ever-changing situations. Notes: A big announcement! How to build and apply trauma s…
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Ep. 44: Showing Up Fake to Relationships
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Have you ever felt like you got deep with someone who refused to match that depth and wondered if they could? In this episode, Jaime and CA explore the concept of showing up fake to our relationships by discussing why some people seem unwilling or maybe even unable to show their authentic selves and then, what we should do about it. Notes: What hap…
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Ep. 43: Privacy or Secrecy
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We have the right to a little bit of privacy in our relationships, but do we have the right to secrecy? What’s the difference? Join CA and Jaime as they explore how secrecy and privacy affect relationships through a thoughtful discussion full of various scenarios. Notes: Privacy or Secrecy - an example Hallmarks of secrecy What is secrecy? How to h…
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Ep. 42: Complex Trauma Basics
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There is a lot of discussion about trauma on social media nowadays, but what is it? Are there different kinds? Can one type of trauma hurt more than another? In this episode, Jaime and CA explore the different types of trauma, how to identify and recognize it, as well as how to process it. Notes: End Scene Learning how to recognize and then name tr…
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Ep. 41: Letting Go of Old Stories
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Our trauma can create certain narratives in our brains. What happens when we encounter similar, but not identical situations in relationships that have nothing to do with that trauma? CA and Jaime explore why we need to create new narratives based on current events, not our past, and exactly how to do so. Notes: How the brain builds narratives How …
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Ep. 40: Ultimatums & Boundaries
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We hear a lot about boundaries, but what are they and how do we put them into practice? What happens when someone pushes them? Join Jaime and CA for an in-depth exploration of both ultimatums and boundaries by not only explaining, but with their signature style of roleplaying, as well. Notes: What are boundaries? What are ultimatums? How boundaries…
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Ep. 39: The Justification Trap
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You will make some changes during your healing journey. What happens when your loved ones question these changes? What if they don’t agree with them? CA and Jaime explore how to have these conversations without falling into the trap of justifying our healed selves with an in-depth exploration and a bit of roleplay. Notes: Justification versus clari…
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Ep. 38: Holding Yourself Hostage in Your Own Recovery
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So you’re on your way to recovery. What about the people who only recognize the old you? What about those moments of panic where you feel yourself slipping back into the person you once were? Jaime and CA explore how we can hold ourselves hostage during the recovery process as well as how to negotiate our way out of the situation. Notes: Why lookin…
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If someone does something that hurts you but they didn't mean to hurt you are they at fault? What if they know those actions hurt you? What if they don't agree? CA and Jaime explore these questions and more as they discuss people's intentions vs the impact of their actions. Notes: An example of intention vs impact The importance of communication ab…
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Ep. 36: Why You Hate Your Resolutions
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On the first episode of 2023 CA and Jaime start 2023 with an in-depth exploration of why New Year’s Resolutions hardly ever seem to work out. They discuss the differences between internal and external resolutions, healthy and not-so-healthy ones, wantingness and willingness, burnout, and more. Notes: We’re back! Sharing this year’s vision for the p…
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We did it! Jaime and CA jump on the mic for one final episode of the podcast for 2022. Join them as they take a look back at their first year of podcasting, explore some of the themes of the previous episodes, and look forward to 2023 and beyond. Notes: We did it! 2022 Spotify Wrapped Favorite Episodes Jaime and CA’s Favorite Clips Links: Follow th…
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Ep. 34: Failed Classes And Lessons Learned
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1:09:51
In this freewheeling, personal, and at times hilarious episode, Jaime and CA sit down for a game of “We're Not Really Strangers” a purpose driven card game and movement all about empowering meaningful connections during their last official podcast of 2022. Notes: What fast food restaurant do you think I'm most likely to drive through and what's my …
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Ep. 33: We Hate Gratitude
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Gratitude seems simple, but what about when societal expectations make us feel like we are forced to bypass our feelings to show it? CA and Jaime discuss how gratitude can be used as a weapon, how societal pressures of showing it affects those who are neurodivergent, the importance of authentic gratitude, and more. Notes: The origins of gratitude H…
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Ep. 32: Religious Trauma: Part 6 - A Conversation with Rev Karla
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Jaime and CA close their series on Religious Trauma by speaking with Rev Karla, an ordained, interfaith, interspiritual minister who helps people who are deconstructing from Christianity to reclaim their spirituality so they can live with authenticity free from the dogma of their religious heritage, about the difficulty of separating from the fear-…
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Ep. 31: Religious Trauma: Part 5 - Skills
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CA and Jaime continue their series on Religious Trauma by discussing the skills needed to start deconstruction by exploring their individual paths to freedom.*This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.* Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1 Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Pa…
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Ep. 30: Religious Trauma: Part 4 - Is Pleasure Evil?
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Why is Trunk-or-Treating ok while Trick-or-Treating is bad? What’s the difference between yoga and mindful movement? Jaime and CA continue their series on religious trauma by diving into the cross-section of joy, pleasure, and religion by asking why some things are ok while some things are not. *This episode and the series on religious trauma as a …
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Ep. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “Hell” Narrative
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CA and Jaime continue their series on religious trauma by digging into how the black-and-white “Hell Narrative” can be incredibly dangerous to our relationships and psyche.*This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.* Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1 Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious…
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Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”
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Jaime and CA continue their series on religious trauma by exploring how religion’s attempts to control our thoughts and emotions affect us both now and in the future.*This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1Notes: Recapping part 1 How repre…
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Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
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CA and Jaime introduce us to a series of episodes based on religious trauma. In this episode, they define religious trauma and explore where it comes from and how it happens.*This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*Notes: Defining trauma Defining complex trauma Defining religious…
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Ep. 26: Relationships Are Earned Not Owed
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Some relationships stay on the surface level and that’s ok, but sometimes we want to experience deeper intimacy with specific people. Jaime and CA explore what happens when we seek out more authentic relationships, what to expect, how to handle the emotional changes, and more. Notes: Seeking out deeper and more authentic relationships What happens …
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Ep. 25: When You Are Ready And They Aren’t
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Truth is not always black and white and as we grow and learn (or unlearn) our definition of it changes. At some point, we may be ready to step and tell our truth, but what happens if the people we are speaking to aren’t ready or willing to hear it? Join CA and Jaime as they discuss the challenge of not only living our authentic lives but sharing th…
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Control can take many forms in relationships. One of those is by putting up boundaries and saying, “no” as an attempt to control, often without even realizing it. In this episode, Jaime and CA explore the role of control in relationships, where it comes from, and what we can to do break the cycle.Notes: Where do we learn to love? How love can be co…
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Ep 23: Why “Quick Fixes” Aren't Enough
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We can hardly go on social media without seeing some sort of mental health quick-fix post. While these solutions may help with the acute symptoms and behaviors, they often fail to address the underlying problems. Join CA and Jaime as they explore how to move beyond the latest pop psychology viral video and dig deep during our healing journeys. Note…
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