Relationship Recovery | 4 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Sleeping with Him | Dating Plan Codependency

Dr. Erin Show | Spirituality & Inspiration

Should I sleep with him? 4 questions to ask yourself

www.drerin.tv

Grab your FREE Manifesting Challenge

Join my life-changing events, membership, or certifications

Binge My Podcast Series:

12 Trauma Coaching Series

52 Universal Law & Manifesting Series

12 Money Breakthrough Coaching Series

40 Spiritual Awakening Book Series

12 Subconscious Reprogramming Coaching Series

Four Questions To Ask Yourself Before Sleeping With Him:

1. What is the intention? Long-term relationship or sexual experience?
2. Are you ready to handle the emotions that come with intimacy? Are emotionally ready, and are you willing to take 100% responsibility for your emotions if you sleep with him?
3. Does your potential partner want to meet your needs within a relationship? Does he have the desire to fulfill your expectations and needs?
4. What is your plan if it goes right and your plan if it goes wrong?

A codependency dating plan is designed to help individuals who struggle with codependency issues navigate the complexities of dating and relationships in a healthier way. Codependency is characterized by excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, often at the cost of one's own needs and identity. Here's a general outline for a codependency dating plan:

Self-Reflection and Awareness: Before starting to date, it's important to understand your own codependent tendencies. This could involve self-help books, therapy, or journaling to identify patterns in past relationships.

Setting Boundaries: Learn to set healthy boundaries. This means understanding what you are comfortable with and communicating this to your partner.

Maintaining Independence: Focus on maintaining your independence in a relationship. This includes having your own hobbies, friends, and time alone.

Slow Pacing: Take things slowly in the new relationship. Rushing into emotional intensity can be a pattern in codependent relationships.

Open Communication: Be honest and open with your partner about your feelings, needs, and concerns. Effective communication is key in any relationship, but especially so when navigating codependency.

Continuous Self-Care and Growth: Continue to prioritize your own well-being and personal growth. This might include regular therapy sessions, self-care routines, and continuing to cultivate your own interests and passions.

Recognizing Red Flags: Be aware of red flags that may indicate unhealthy dynamics. This includes controlling behavior, lack of respect for boundaries, or feeling like you're losing your sense of self in the relationship.

Support System: Have a support system in place. This could be friends, family, a therapist, or a support group for individuals with codependent tendencies.

Regular Check-Ins with Yourself: Periodically assess the health and balance of the relationship. Are your needs being met? Are you respecting your own boundaries?

Willingness to Walk Away: Be prepared to walk away from a relationship if it becomes unhealthy or if your codependent patterns start to emerge again.

Remember, this plan is not a strict set of rules but a guideline to help navigate dating in a healthier, more balanced way. Individual needs and situations may vary, so it's important to tailor the approach to fit your personal circumstances

TRANSCRIPTS:

Welcome to the Dr. Erin Show. This is a top spiritual awakening and new thought ancient wisdom podcast to teach you how to become your highest self, unleash your spiritual superpowers, discover your soul's purpose, and manifest your dreams. Hi, I'm Dr. Erin, Dr. Divinity, and I'm committed to bringing you the best manifesting and coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I'm here to help you reprogram your subconscious mind, monetize your spiritual gifts, and love your life. I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are, and I believe in you together we're awakening the world. Hello my friends. I'm super excited today because we have a caller that has called in and asked should I sleep with him? Wow. Today I'm going to answer with four questions you should ask yourself before sleeping with him or her, whichever your preference is, she, her, they, whichever title you want to give it. (00:58): So today we're going to break on down the truth of emotional mastery. And as a leader, I want to get vulnerable in my humanist and let you know that again, as a leader, as a teacher, I teach truth that absolutely is truth. It does not mean I am perfect as a leader. We teach universal law and understanding how energetics work, how to manifest and all the above. And I am a teacher and a student at the same time. So let's break this on down. Should I sleep with him? Well, the first question that you may ask yourself is what is your intention? So it's a real interesting thing because I have a full spectrum of friends. I have very liberal polyamorous friends, and I have very devoted Christian friends. I have a full spectrum of friends that I've had throughout my life. I've had friends that are strippers. (01:56): I've had friends that are absolutely purist to the core. I have friends that don't drink at all and have been in recovery their entire life, and I have other friends that do a lot of medicine. So everyone's intention is different. That's my point. And for many people, intimacy and sex can be used for manipulation. It also can be used for beautiful aligning and merging of souls. So the first question definitely to ask yourself is what's the intention if you're looking for a long-term relationship, or are you looking to just have a sexual experience? That could be a beautiful sexual experience, or it could be a fleeting pornographic experience, right? What is the intention? And I would say it's really important to ask your partner, but also know that someone can have an intention and their intention can change tomorrow. Okay? So it's really about you getting clear about yourself and what is your intention? (03:02): Because what you hold in mind, what you hold in mind is going to inform universal mind. What you hold in mind is going to inform your subconscious mind and really set the polarity of the universe into motion. Let's just say for example, that your intention is to find the love of your life and merge in souls and have your twin flame for the rest of your life, as they say, or soulmate, right? Your divine partner. And some of you guys might have different definitions of those terms. So whatever that is, I'm saying that the intention is whatever your intention is, your partner may say he has that intention, but he may change his mind the next day. You don't have control over that, right? But the truth is, when you set your intention, you can actually inform the universe. The universe may say, Hey, this person's not for you, and they may get them out of your life so that you can have your actual divine partner come in. (04:02): But setting your intention is super important. And the reason why I say this is because as somebody who works with people around the globe, I would say about nine out of 10 people are codependent, meaning they struggle in relationship, even if they're married, if they're single, if they're dating, there is a push and pull because they hand their power over in relationship. Therefore, they're disempowered in relationship. This is the basics of the basics of metaphysics. The basics is that the moment that you hand your power over to anything, especially in your relationship, you'll be disempowered in that area. So codependency is really truly the highest form of codependency. And handing the power over relationship is the most entangled area of our life and our intimate life, because there's nothing not intimate about it. When two people come together, whether it be a man or a woman or whomever, when you change and exchange bodily fluids, your DNA literally merges, okay? You don't just merge in mind and spiritually you merge physically. Literally, your ancestor trauma that they've dealt with and you've dealt with is coming into the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it, right? So you might want to ask yourself no pressure on that, right? What's the intention? For most people when they are intimate, their intention is for a long-term relationship, okay? Not everybody, but majority of people. Okay? So first thing I want you to write down is what is your intention? (05:50): So you have to know the second question is a very important question that might impact the first question. And here's the question, are you emotionally ready and are you willing to take 100% responsibility for your emotions if you sleep with him? Okay, what does this mean exactly? To stay in our sovereignty, to stay in our sobriety, to stay in our divine power? Peace is par when we feel out of control. We don't have control over our emotions, we become the effect of emotions. We become the effect of life. We have to take responsibility for our emotions. No one is responsible for our emotions. So if we're going to be intimate with somebody, we have to know that we can't control what the partner does. They may be the most loving person ever, or they may turn out to be a liar. We don't even know. (06:59): And in our energetic field, we're going to call in according to our emotions already. So if you're somebody who has low self-esteem or low self-worth, and you're fearing Should I sleep with somebody, then most likely you're probably going to have some emotions once you sleep with them. So the question is, are you emotionally ready and are you willing to take 100% responsibility for your emotions if you sleep with this person? Okay, so I would play it out a little bit like worst case scenario because that's how we play. We play the miracle in consciousness and hold that miracle, and we also get prepared for worse thing because we know that life is a paradox and that the more we can play with the light and the dark in consciousness and come to neutrality, we have more choice. So my invitation is to play in consciousness and play as if the greatest thing happened, and that may look like, Hey, we become intimate. Our core values are all in alignment. Our core needs are being met. We're not making anyone wrong. We are masters, and guess what? It probably won't be the case. (08:23): It could be awful. They could turn out to be cheating on you. They could turn out to be whatever we need to take full responsibility if best case scenario and worst case scenario happens, are you emotionally prepared for this? That means you have a powerful consciousness. That means you've done your inner work. That means you have not a low self-confidence that you realize I'm taking this choice. And regardless, regardless of what happens, I know that I have the tools and consciousness, the support group, my daily spiritual practice, whatever it is to sustain if the worst case happened. If you do not, then I don't recommend becoming intimate with somebody if you're not prepared for it emotionally, okay? I'm not here to ever tell anybody to sleep with somebody or not sleep with somebody. I'm here to give them the distinctions to make the choice for themselves. (09:24): Okay? So number one is what is your intention? Number two is are you emotionally ready and are you willing to take 100% responsibly for your emotions if you sleep with him? Okay, number three is does he have the desire to fulfill your expectations and your needs? And this is a huge one because most people don't even talk about it. They, okay, I'm going to, if I'm Christian, I may want to get married just so I can sleep with them. I see this a lot when they don't even know who their real partner is, but they think the marriage is going to solve all their problems, and it doesn't. Just because someone gets married does not mean they are not insecure, they don't have emotions, and they are getting their needs met. It's the same exact problems, and again, I'm not going to say you should or shouldn't get married before you have sex, but these are just core things that need to be discussed and figured out, and not just by words, by the way, but by witnessing your partner, does he or she have the desire to fulfill your expectations and your needs? (10:45): Because unless you're enlightened master walking this planet able to unconditionally love your partner, no matter what they do, you're probably going to have some expectations and some needs. And so in the ideal world as really planning out a proactive approach for dating and for really spending your life with somebody, you would really get clear of what your basic needs are and what your expectations are. And the more you can communicate that and discover what your partner's expectations and needs are, and play it out as a devil's advocate. So say for example, your basic needs are that your partner is in communication with you every day, and that you see each other X amount of days of the week, or you end up living together or whatever the expectations are. The expectations are, Hey, we would probably date for a while, but our intention is to eventually get married, or our basic needs are when I'm upset, I need you to be there for me. (11:53): Or the expectations are, Hey, I expect you to cook for me or pay for me, or whatever. I don't know what those expectations are. Again, no one would say what those should be. Those are for you to discover. And if you have not discovered what your basic needs or expectations are in a relationship, you may want to do some more inner work before becoming intimate with somebody just saying, okay, so does he or she have the desire to fulfill your expectations and your needs? And the question is, do you have the desire to fulfill your partner's expectations and their needs? Super important to really think about this because to become intimate with somebody, entangling energetically entangling in your DNA and your energetics of all lifetimes, you might want to do some of this work just FYI. Okay, number four, question. So again, number one is what is your intention? (12:57): Number two is are you emotionally ready and are you willing to take 100% responsibly for your emotions if you sleep with him? Number three is does he have the desire and do you have the desire to fulfill the expectation and needs? And lastly, but not lastly, these are just some basic conversations. Okay? Number four is what is your plan if it goes right, and what is your plan if it goes wrong? Right? Having those conversations with a partner is super important. For example,