Why Your Relationship Checklist is Getting in Your Way & How to Stop Questioning if You are With the Right Person

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

What do you look for in a partner?

What do you think makes a relationship interesting?

Today, let's talk about the disparity between what people say they want in a partner — traits like kindness, empathy, and thoughtfulness — and what they often find themselves attracted to, which may be more superficial qualities like physical attractiveness.

Jay references research from the Pew Research Center to highlight that 35% of men value physical attractiveness most in women, while 33% of women value honesty and morality most in men. He discusses how societal pressures and media influence shape these preferences and often lead people to prioritize the wrong traits, which can result in unsatisfying relationships.

Additionally, Jay addresses the issues of men looking for nurturing qualities in women, sometimes in an unhealthy, maternal sense, and the pressure on men to achieve professional and financial success. He also touches on the societal expectations and challenges faced by successful women who feel they need to downplay their achievements to attract partners.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to identify cover values in a partner

How to balance attraction and values

How to avoid common relationship pitfalls

How to build a connection based on values

How to foster a healthy relationship

By focusing on qualities like kindness, empathy, and honesty, we can build deeper, more meaningful connections. True compatibility goes beyond physical attraction and societal expectations, it's rooted in shared values and mutual respect.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:26 What Is More Important to Us in a Partner?

04:44 #1: Physical Attractiveness

05:16 #2: Honesty and Morality

08:37 #3: Empathy, Nurturing, Kindness

15:30 #4: Professional, Financial Success

18:49 #5: Intelligence

23:06 Looking for Love in the Wrong Places

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.