048 - How to Be a Friend

Portals of Perception

Isn’t it interesting that arguably the most connected, in touch and in tune generations ever, Gen Z and millennials — generally people born after 1980 — also report in some surveys feeling lonelier, with fewer close friends, than their older siblings or parents?

Even in the digita l age of nonstop texts, tweets and saturation social media, technology alone won’t kindle the warmth and depth of real human - to - human bonds. How then in our personal and collective journeys do we sustain the relationships often at the core of our wellbeing and emotional health — our friendships?

Portals brought together a group of our international friends to explore their experience of friendship and its role in the happiness, health, and transformation of a life. They find companionship, acceptance, trust and love, yet also challenge, strength and the desire for us to be our best.

The friends’ conversation with Aviv Shahar reveals the inspiration and transformative power of friendship:

• True friendship is found not in holding each other back, but in setting each other free.
• Friendship comes through a look to caress, to swell up the beautiful things that I see around me and in another person; friendship can heal, soften, inspire and make things lighter and happier.
• Friendship is that immortal recognition and knowledge that I've witnessed you, and you have witnessed me; in that mutual recognition we have something shared that leads beyond time.
• Friends are there whether we’re with them or not; it’s a pact of reciprocal maintenance that allows something to build between people that's greater than either one alone.
• Friendship gathers something together, puts communities together, builds villages, builds camaraderie. It puts people together in a way that magnifies and makes them stronger.

This conversation is part of the continuing Portals discovery into what is emerging on the frontiers of human experience in this time of profound change. Information about upcoming special events can be found on the Events page. Also visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

TWEETABLE QUOTES

“I remember having a friend a long time ago, and we used to develop a handshake together. And now it’s a special handshake. We put our hands up, twist, jab, and I hadn't seen that person for about 19 years, and as soon as I saw him, guess what? We went together, and we did our special handshake. It hadn’t died.” (Robbie)

“So there's something magic about ol d friends I think and if you have an old friend that you can reconnect with that is a treasure. That is an absolute treasure. That being said there is a saying, isn't there? Make new friends and keep the old, for the new are silver and the old are gold. So new friends as well.” (Hanna)

“One feature, one thing that sort of pops up in me when we talk about the essence of friendship... It makes me think of ginger. You know how you can find like an old knob of ginger and you're just about to throw it away and you're like "Hold on, let me just peel back and almost always at the core of it, it's fresh, full of its lifeforce, zest, and freshness,” so there's something about friendship that is like that's ever fresh with quite an energy to also refresh whoever in ingests it.” (Aud)

“When I was young I was shown a demonstration of electricity and magnetism by way of a piece of paper with some iron filings and a magnet underneath, and when the person moved the magnet, the iron filings did a little dance, and that's always stayed with me that image because friendships like that, it's like a magnet and the more you do it, the stronger it gets and it makes people do the most extraordinary things.” (Robin)

“I think everybody that's ever experienced some of what friendship has to offer can recognize it as a sacred space. A plasma of possibility and opening to realms that we only dream of, and I have a very strong sense that, at the moment, we only experience these intimate moments with special people that we call friends.”(Daniel)

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Portals of Perception Website

Aviv’s LinkedIn

Aviv’s Twitter

Aviv’s Website

How to Be a Friend